Monday, 22 February 2010


You know when someone qualifies an opinion,
With "..they say..",
"There's nothing more boring,
Than listening to someone else's dreams, they say.."
Who are "they"?
The mysterious "they" that hand down to us,
Telepathically it seems,
This carved-in-air accepted wisdom,
That we must all accept as The Truth?

I would love to meet,
One of these wise and supreme beings,
Privileged to belong,
To this mysterious cabal,

I love listening to other people's dreams.

On the train, for example,
If I'm sat next to a commuter,
I always try to listen to their dreams:
I upload their dreams,
Using my psychic-dreamstream MP3.
Have you got one?

And for me,
I find,
Japanese students have the most complicated dreams,
Canadians' dreams are,
Controversially perhaps,
The most musical!,

Dutch people's dreams have the happiest endings,
And the French,
Believe it or not,
Have the best dubbing.

Oh, and,
Latin American's dreams are the steamiest,
And Indian people's dreams,
Have thousands of erotic dancing vegetarians in.

You've guessed it,
The British dream the most,
About their pet dog,
And if they don't own a dog themselves,
Dream of another's!

Quite recently,
I had a dream with a dog in:
I dreamt I saw a dog washing their car!

And as I stood there,

In this dream,
Completely mesmerised,
Watching this dog,
Washing their car,

The dog caught me staring at it, dumbfounded -
I just couldn't tear my eyes away!
Can you blame me though?
I mean,
If you saw a dog washing their car,
Wouldn't you watch?
After a while, the dog looked up at me,
And sighed,

Actually it was more of a groan,
"Haven't you ever seen a dog washing her car before?"
"", I replied, somewhat stunned.
" Really? Oh, fair enough then", said the dog,
And with that carried on washing her car.

If it had been a male dog,
Washing their car,
I wouldn't have been surprised at all.