Monday, 28 February 2011


Dear Sir/Madam,

It has been brought to our attention
mmmmmmThat you have been overutilising your overdraft facility
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbYou cunt.

Our commitment to responsible lending
bbbbRequires that we best meet the needs of our valued customers

bbbbbbbbbbDue to ongoing liquidity issues
nnnnnnnnn((And because we just fucking well feel like it)
nnnnnnnnnnnnnWe are sadly
ithdrawing this facility from you
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbLLLLLLLLImmediatelyRight now. Right fucking now.

Please rest assured
xxWe may wish to offer an overdraft facility to you again
ccccccIn your case
ccccccccIn the far-off distant future
aaaaaaaaaaWhen you stop behaving like an absolute cunt
b aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaYou cunt.

Sorry to swear like this
n nnnnnnnnnnnBut
ccccccccccccccccYou really have been taking the piss haven't you?

Should you have any concerns that
mmYour life will turn to absolute shit
nnnnnnISBecause we are withdrawing this facility from you immediately
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvWithout giving you any prior warning
qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqOr time to make alternative arrangements

qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqPlease do not hesitate to contact us
ccccccccccccccccccccccccTo be honest
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm kkWe enjoy a good laugh
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbHa! Ha!
t bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbSee?

Yours fucking sincerely then,

Customer Services Advisor