Wednesday, 14 August 2013

The Positive Self-Hate Miracle Plan

Let's lose weight,
Let's discover the yin and yang of protein and complex carbohydrate.
It's never too late to let your corporeal fat eat cake.
So let's lose weight.
And, then?
Then, let's look inside your cavernous space,
And discover your previously hidden, 

And uniquely transcendent,
And unparagoned, 

Blissful Essence.

Let's go!

Let's lose weight.
Because it's the only way - to lose weight.
Let's deflate your billowing concertina face.
Let's drain away those flabby bingo-arm thighs;
Sight the edacity: I snack, I die.
Chant: For I am Spirit, pure and eternal..
For I am Spirit, pure and eternal..
Let's lose weight.

Pain-feast your lingua-nausea mantra;
Really utilise your hidden pneuma matter.
Oh, and,
The flashing lights, the tingling arms?
Mouth striking shapes to burglar alarms?
Perhaps, a smidgen of self harm?
Tremors, blushing, perspiring, shaking, flushing?
That's okay:
If it ain't hurting..
It's a positive thing to focus there your self-hate.

It's not easy to lose weight -
Especially when you refuse to lose weight.
No, we mustn't allow your feckless mentalism to dictate.
Appreciate yourself depreciate:
Scale away your inducing corpus,
And irrigate.

Stare yourself down, reflecting off your plate.
Speed-read all my magazines:
Glean the enlightened screed of my shapely New Age dream;
Allow me to melt away your pizza footprint;
Gracefully fade you to your sculpted meme.

Unsuicide bomb those spare tyres with love.
Vacuum-pack your stomach with tender wires - see above.
Let's lose weight.
And strike your utter repose!

And you'll soon delightedly discover your swooning lover,
And how the sweet mirror shall melt of you!

Be like a sliver of crystal glass;
As svelte as the skin of flowing water;
Skim through the air like a flying saucer;
Writhe your multi-orgasmic tiger,
Deposing ounces, you shall footfall utopia.
Let's lose weight.

You can do it!

..For I am Spirit, pure and eternal..
Let's go!