Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Fallen Blancmange


Have you ever vacuumed a fallen blancmange?,
Don't do it.
Last Thursday,
(It's always last Thursday's strange things happen to me),
I vacuumed a fallen blancmange -
Vegan strawberry flavour -
It crash-splurged tragically
on the unforgiving floor,
Splattered uniquely,
Jackson Pollockly,
I ran like a crash team doctor,
Untethered the vacuum,
And plugged it in,
I shouted at the witnesses "stand back!",
But as I nozzled the vegan strawberry blancmange,
The vacuum motor screamed,
Then imploded,
The blancmange in its dust bag exploded,
One witness fainted,
So another punched my nose in,
Surgically.