Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Let's Dive In Front Of Aeroplanes (or, Oh No, Look, Another Sixth-Form, Jejune Bit Of Doggerel About "The Bankers")

I snuck the spy at four London Evening Standard articles. Four. 
Warning us, their grim-of-teeth uber-plebian readers, 
That our casino bankers might very well leave these shores, 
For we're all turning into entrenched and bitter, sixth-form, banker-bashing bores. 
The traders, they cry, in stunned bafflement and dismay: 
Why are we so hated so, 
Why, we chose ourselves as the chosen ones back in the day...?

And double-bubble you public-sector-hectors, 
And all you construction workers out on your ears, 
And all you ne'er-do-wells saving so-called meaningful lives, (yeah, right).. 
It's so about time you all realised, the casino bankers that you affect to despise, 
Are really.. 
Oh, you know.. 
Do I need to spell it out? 
Oh no, please don't ask me to spell it out. 

They have feelings too you know, 
More so than you average Janes and Joes. 
Wake up and smell their cocaine, 
(But don't sniff it: 
There's your predictable sense of entitlement again..) 
Woe betide: 
They might very well fly away, 
Never, ever, to return again, 
- So the Evening Standard says. 

So, let's dive in front of aeroplanes. 
Let's stop the brokers flying away. 
Let's dive in front of aeroplanes, 
Don't let them take off, 
Dont let them get away! 

Let's dive in front of aeroplanes, 
Let's give them some big love;
We must see the error of our ways. 
Let's dive in front of aeroplanes, 
Or they wont allow us to 
Bail them out again. 

Casino bankers love.... 
They posssibly love their children. 
Casino bankers enjoy... 
Giving a little corporate giving to charity. 
Their altruism is completely peachable
Oh look, there you go again.. 

Casino bankers love free-enterprise (tax-subsidised)
Casino bankers feel misunderstood: 
Just because I'm a tree, doesn't mean I'm made from wood, right? 
Casino bankers feel your pain, 
As if it's 
In Spain


They're leaving on a plane, 
We must stop them now, 
We'll never see their likes again. 
But if they choose to go, 
Despite our pardon, 
Let's hope the pilots, 
Are not trained by Air bin Laden. 

So let's dive in front of aeroplanes, 
Or these misunderstood altruists will get away, 
Let's dive in front of aeroplanes, 
Or the free market tarzan won't allow us to.. 
Bail them out.