Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Heroically Manfully Ethically Theosophically Pot Noodle

Wandering the laptop aisles

A customer service suffragette enquired
MayIhelpyou One phrase    as     OneWord
What kind of laptop are you looking for..

One that is for poets I stated
Startled she backed away and glanced up at a security camera
I will leave you alone she replied a little hurt
Sorry to have bothered you
Oh no it's okay I reassured
There probably isn't any such thing anyway..honestly..

She stop-gazed
So..may I help you with anything else..

Go on..she encouraged
Would you help me..uh..
with some of the..
..shame and guilt I feel..
I feel utterly bewildered....defeated
And I'm so spiritually sluggish
And I still don't know what to do with my life
And I still don't know what to do with my previous lives..

Oh that! she waved an arm dismissively
So you're not a real professional poet

You don't earn from it..


After another pause
Lilted such a life-affirming flat-line rainbow Mona Lisa smile
You don't need a laptop then do you 
You can just use your....hand..

Yeah I'll do that..

Time for a commercial break 

I'll see you on the other side..


I wandered the shopping centre
As the cosmogryal wandering shopping centre
collapsed my annihilation of self around itself
Shopping centres walk with our legs

  Fukushima dream-landscapes hammer blizzard miles     

No me neither

I have no idea what I meant there
It's a poem
Or is it..

Standing there walking here standing there
I thought she reminded me of  an ex who dumped me

after catching me looking confused
while grappling heroically manfully ethically theosphically even
with the cooking instructions on a Pot Noodle

Although to be fair to her
I also once blew up her organic strawberry blancmange
by placing it on defrost in the microwave
And to make matters worse
when the blancmange exploded I didn't notice
Because I was listening on headphones full blast
to a tune similar to the one below
I was wearing her chiffon dressing gown too
Although that bit's not important..
Or is it..

She tasered me in the head with her earthed dildo
And as I stirred conscious on a boat
She threw me into the river
And when the River Police rescued me
and dumped me on the shore in front of her
as I choked up shells and a mermaid's necklace
She tutted

 She tutted and sighed
all folded arms she was
the ultimate in weaponised female body-language form
Is this why I pay my taxes she frowned..

Yes the customer service suffragette reminds me of her
So in other words I think I'm in love..

Happy ending