Mermaids Wipe The Rain

In a nutshell
A hole-in-one
At the end of the day
The moon is the sun,
Squaring the circle
A smiling cat with the cream
For the dead
Sleep like fish
Counting sheep in your dream.

A bah-Humbug! Christmas carol
Unkiss your prince to a frog
Break out the pizza mints
Split your hair of the dog,
Bring back hanging
Keep our suits neat and tidy
An American princess for the President
That will do nicely.

We must cut our cloth in inverse proportion
To the bankers' fat arses,
And we must cut our cloth in inverse proportion
To the bankers' fat arses.
So,
Where are the gods tearing asunder
The Temples of Mammon? -
Selling toilet rolls to mermaids
To help them wipe the rain.

Which came first:
The bishop or the actress
The sacrament or sacrilege
The chicken or salmonella
Climate change or weird weather?
If the big-bang exploded
And tore open neo-natal space
Would a radio telescope catch the sound off God's face?
If the messiah had owned a washing machine
Would Da Vinci have faked the Turin Shroud?
For every line a nasal cloud
Successful slimmer a mirror cowed.

So,
Where are the gods tearing asunder
The Temples of Mammon? -
Selling toilet rolls to mermaids
To help them wipe the rain.