I Broke The Office Paper Shredder The Day Before Yesterday

i broke the office paper shredder the day before yesterday
and needless to say
the cruel word has spread around the office town
i broke the office paper shredder
i arrived to work yesterday
and there was an awkward tea point silence
nothing was said you understand
but there was that definite vibe
similar to one of those who jammed the photocopier vibes
you know the drill
precisely like a more bloody episode of the wire

i opened an email
did you break the office paper shredder
did you inform anyone
it took us nearly thirty five minutes to fix it..so i'm guessing that means it took them up to thirty four minutes
..it took us nearly thirty five minutes to fix it
also you must have folded the paper in half before shredding
why
please respond asap
we never thought you would be capable of doing something so..
 
i responded guilty
i'm guilty and i'm sorry
i didn't know i jammed it
i'm sure the paper went through
and i never folded it either
or if i did it was an oversight
it wasn't on purpose
it's not like i'm some kind of terrorist
oh we'll be the judge of that
will you please step outside..
now as i have a day off today
i shall only find out tomorrow night whether
this case will be escalated
to the hr herbal tea bag jihadis
perhaps i should get the union involved
perhaps i should ask for a priest of my denomination
i'm in trouble
no doubt about it
it's karma isn't it
i will be reincarnated as a jammed sheet of shredded paper
and this poem won't help
it might make things even worse
as if they can get any worse
lord krishna please forgive me
i'll work on opening my third eye from tomorrow
i promise
i'll even work on opening my eyelids

i broke the office paper shredder
it lay broken  for nearly thirty five minutes
i received an email
i could see that all the important management people were also copied in
i'm gonna bleed
i'm wondering now
while on my day off today
who they have also 
forwarded and cc'd and bcc'd
no doubt you too will soon receive that email
loaded with coded comments not so veiled
i must take ownership of my sin
perhaps save myself from being thrown head down
in the man's recycle bin
it's morning but i need a drink

i broke the office paper shredder
it lay broken for nearly thirty five minutes
they knew it was me
because they looked inside the shredder
yes they actually looked inside the shredder
and they recognised that particular brand of coloured paper
that we use only for the committee rooms
and they knew i would have been the one to shred those sheets
there's no point in denying it either
they might have already checked the cctvit must gone down all csi
they must have taken prints dna ultraviolet
and as i live in the uk
i can't take the fifth or plea bargain
or drive to mexico
or become a guy stripper in vegas
where will it end
is this what i have worked for
is all this dust meant to only turn to
dust
the office gossipers have me in their twerking grips
those smirking smug ninja pixies
their dead eyes swinging from their hips...


on a positive note
although i'm a middle aged man
is this breaking the office paper shredder
that lay broken for nearly thirty five minutes remember
my rock star moment
will the office ladies see me now as that edgy guy
hey look it's that guy the he broke the office paper shredder guy
i just wanna rip my clothes off
i just don't care
a man like that loses control for a reason
he's probably misunderstood
he probably writes really deep poetry
or does something even worse than that
he has that tortured million mile stare and everything
and to think
i always just used to walk right past him
when will i learn
when will i learn..

Freedom Fries

this poem is dedicated to all the victims of the recent paris attacks
and as we all eat our freedom fries
at concerts and sporting events
let us salute their flag

this poem is dedicated to all the victims of the recent paris attacks
facebook and google have painted themselves tricolour
for a few hours

this poem is dedicated to all the victims of the recent paris attacks
we are all french now
they are so much like us
now
and for the next few soundbite moments

this poem is dedicated to all the victims of the recent paris attacks
but this poem is not dedicated to the more recent victims of the mali attacks
to be honest i don't even know what their flag looks like
do you
no concerts
no silence at football matches
no candles
no special facebook button
no reporters overcome with emotion

this poem is dedicated to the victims of the recent paris attacks
but not the victims of boko haram
or the yazidi communities wiped out by the salafists of saudi arabia
considering everything would it not make a whole more sense if we sung the saudi national anthem
we are all saudi now
not houthi
or doctors tortured in bahrain

this poem is dedicated to the victims of the recent paris attacks
not the people we and our allies ourselves daisy bombed to bits in iraq afghanistan yemen or libya
like those patients and medics slaughtered in a hospital a few weeks ago with american friendly fire
no anthem for them
no shimmering candles
no earnest entertainers
just a sorry we will try not to do it yet again
again
there may be a cheque after due diligence if you make no trouble and go away
no tears for you
no way
because this means war

this poem is dedicated to the victims of the recent paris attacks
but not the two thousand who died last year in gaza
the five hundred and fifty one children
no songs or poems for them
we were never all palestinian then
no minutes silence for nairobi
we were never kenyan at football matches
the few dozen in lebanon also murdered last week
mentioned on the news
in brief
after the sports
before the weather
yet i don't remember any of our politicians turning lebanese

this poem is dedicated to all the victims of the recent paris attacks
and as we all eat our freedom fries
at concerts and sporting events
let us salute their flag
but probably not the next's

Wordless Whisper

language the poor cover tune for pure thought
words the tune the words toys
language a poor substitute for the music
the wordless music wordless
the music is the light the stark freedom sheer
the words are at best only as good as the words

gold fire lifts the linking stars to your skin
alighting the stations through your eyes
your lashes like distant cranes drop molten tears igniting
my rivers of nights 

rush to your palace rising
rest in the shade of the pinnacle
my wash of mind has soaked a thousand torched dreams
whose visions only ash under the cold menace of all the cruel machinery
gift me forgive the fateful hour and proof
i am another awol prodigal son
i return with your one-way ticket to burn
how abysmal we give our lives in the spilt and spilling water of eyes stroking hours
yet one day this whisper offered the eternal second's bliss
without warning and in a flash
here the is
a trillionth of the grain of the wordless

A Stranger Holds Your Hand

A stranger holds your hand
Grips it tightly
They are just holding on
to your hand
They don't want anything from you
The stranger doesn't want to hurt you
The stranger is giving something to you
And you most likely won't see them again

Free Drugs

If you say no to drugs
Pretend you've said yes
That way you can blame the drugs
If you've made a bit of a mess

I Am Component

I am component
I am a
part

A clicking clinking trinket
A sliver of light in another rolled up wave

I live night in
Inside in
I deliver human
humanish

I clutch the strings that bind
If they loosen I'm my skin unnatural on my bone
The only way I feel at home is when I place my earphones on
Wherever I place my earphones that's my home
There's no place like earphones

I fell as the component
I once believed I only need to imagine
And there together we'd celebrate our strangeness

Now integrated slaves
Even though strays
Here's a cv
Baptised with the water from in-ashtrays
The stare of nothing
I pace

Sanguine so hopeless
This twenty-first century
The charmed epoch of aloneness
At least when I blush I'm on my own
I have this affect on alcohol
There's no place like earphones
Hear yourself fall
And flash by a reflecting android
He's still got his earphones on
He's still got his earphones on