dear doctor dear reader
i have a confession i must share with you..
i often feel embarrassed
very embarrassed
acutely embarrassed
acutely embarrassed when i am on my own
when. i. am. on. my. own.
when there is absolutely no-one else around
absolutely no-one..
and i just feel embarrassed..
i simply become hugely embarrassed
it just takes me over
like hit by a crushing waterfall
i become overcome with embarrassment
an i-am of embarrassment
and for no particular reason
no discernible reason
absolutely none
none..
i just become..
totally embarrassed
completely embarrassed
full-spectrum embarrassed..
sometimes it flows..
the flow of embarrassment
acute flowing embarrassment..
one embarrassment
one embarrassment
one embarrassment
flows into itself
swirls into itself
..enjambment..
embarrassment enjambment..
or is it enjambement
embarrassment enjambement..
how embarrassing..
this so-called poet is not even sure
whether embarrassment enjambment
should be embarrassment enjambement
perhaps americans experience
experience long-embarrassment differently
embarrassment with an extra e
embarrassment enjambemant
because their embarrassment is more outgoing
more tingly
more adventurous
prairie-like
more gun-slingery..
do americans spell enjambment enjambement
does anyone
i do not know
how embarrassing..
also
what should embarrassment actually be for
how is it meant to help
biologically physiologically sociologically
lone embarrassment especially..
..
anyway
in the way some people become enlightened..
i just become embarrassed..
a kundalini explosion of embarrassment overcomes me
my more spiritual relations would be proud..
actually
no they would not
they would be so embarrassed
so embarrassed for me
kundalini embarrassment
oh please sanjay
no guru can help you with this..
on social media
many times many times
i have watched people claim how they became enlightened
suddenly enlightened
and for no reason
just like that..
never once have i watched a youtuber for example
share their experience of becoming suddenly embarrassed
suddenly embarrassed while on their own
and for absolutely no reason at all
just like that
like bad magic..
experiencing my embarrassment enjambment/enjambement..
typically i assume the advanced embarrassment yoga position
my right hand slowly rises to cover my
face
my tightly clenched eyes i raise downwards
to the floorboards
then after a fair few seconds i lower my right hand
open my eyes again
apprehensively look around
look around even though i know no-one is there
then i wonder what on earth is wrong with me
then more embarrassment enjamb(e)ment rises all over me again
like a zombie rash of a b-movie horror-flick..
for it is only i that is beside myself
beside myself with embarrassment
an out-of-body embarrassment experience
an i-am of embarrassment
the i am of embarrassment..
try it
really is easy..
at least for me..
how embarrassing..
then i ponder
why on earth did embarrassment flow over me like a tsunami..
and because i realise i have no idea
again i assume the embarrassment-enjambment yoga position..
i have no wish to boast
but sometimes i can do this for hours..
how very embarrassing..
probably something to do with my adulthood..
this is our secret okay
so please do not share this with anyone
otherwise you can guess what will happen to me..
****************
so i have pondered the why
perhaps this is a karmic debt that i must pay
did i mercilessly tease and embarrass people in my previous life
so the almighty said
right you will experience embarrassment
even. when. you. are. on. your. own.
in fact especially when you are on your own
it will just happen
you will experience raging kundalini embarrassment
torrents of it
now be off with you..
how embarrassing..
