Saturday, 4 February 2023

Gladly, Thay Provide The Lorn With Such Aquarian Tangibles


the practice nurse sighed..

oh her..yes her..
well if you ask me
she is a complete waste of time..

do not compromise

she tries to grab any opportunity
any opportunity for an appointment
like clockwork she appears here
here every couple of months or so
almost without fail..

she acts
acts
acts as if she really
and i underline really
really needs urgent physical attention
like she really needs a consultation here physically
and not online..
but she does not seems to apprehend or empathise..

as we know though
genuine attention means
means needs attention..as opposed to just wants..
and i also underline needs here
and we must be able to tell the difference
because once we let her through
let her through just once then that is it..


well yes now i can tell
tell that all she really needs is..
..someone to..

......


but that really is it
that really is it..


the practice nurse glanced
then carried on
and she is only one
only one of a whole straggly battalion
they float over here like shy simpering swans
projecting
so entitled
like a royal..


and yes okay..
though i see she is obviously a little lonely and lost and blah
and we all need a hug
but so sorry...we all have to get over that..
all of us..
if she wants my advice..
but she never wants to ... with me..

and are we not in a near depression
a real depression..
is it not tangible
we have been told we must very seriously prioritise now
now more than ever
sadly..

this seems to be like a hobby to her
to her it has become like a thing to do
and we must not enable her..

we must not be..
oh that word oh what is that word now oh..
yes..complicit..
we must not be complicit..


i think she gets it now
because last time i really hinted
subtly nudged her
that she needs to..

..


to do something do something..

i wonder should she try for a place in a day-release psychy..
what i mean is..
oh i know you know what i mean..

if she just cuts herself..just enough..nothing silly..
if she cuts herself down the arm
down
more convincing

she might get lucky..
problem is she is not yet that suicidal..
that normally i would say is a good thing but..
it is sad..


no i never offered that suggestion out loud to her for goodness sake
what do you think i am..
what are you trying to make sound like..
and i would get the sack..

the practice nurse vigorously shook her head no
no of course i would never say that to her
we are only talking shop here
this is between us..


and to be fair
before she was encouraged to leave
i did offer her some biscuits and tea last time
and all while doing the slow bobbing head i know i know thing..

though she never said thanks i am okay with that
we have to develop thick skin
not take things like that personally
i get it
and i get why security always allow her in
they are not doctors..

...

the practice nurse looked up
then she..
then she looked away and down..

then as she turned to walk to the empty staff room
her eyes seemed to mist..
a click was heard after she gently closed the door right behind her..

a few minutes later she was heard softly weeping..
to herself..
it was her tea break..


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