i collect
mp3 hole rarities
and i also collect rare mp3 holes
mp3 holes are my favourite though
collecting mp3 holes being all the rage right now
and for some reason this fact really upsets me
collecting such holes is no longer considered niche
neither is it niche to collect niche hole collectors..
i was once collected by a niche hole collector collector
she knew that i am the number one collector of post-rock holes
but i was sprung from captivity
by a crack team of mystic guitar-playing hobbits
they play guitar with violin bows via echo chambers
the only way guitars should be played imho
especially by serious guitar-hobbyist hobbits..
as a side note
i sometimes play my post-rock holes with my tennis racket
this i plug into my fridge
pretend it is a marshall amplifier..
trust me
i cannot even express with proper poetic words
the amazing sounds received playing a fridge with a violin bow
on a tennis racket through post-rock holes..
i love collecting cd holes too..
i started collecting cd holes when i was a university student
and now i buy cd holes from vendors on the light web
bought mainly with bitcoin for hard fiat
hard fiats are great decoy vehicles..
especially following the government crackdown on holes
cd hole dealers and buyers always use hard fiat
because cd holes can easily bounce off soft-roofed fiats
and you try and locate a lost cd hole in the street
trust me it is more than difficult
this is why cd holes are surgically stashed
stashed inside vacuum-reinforced glove compartments..
be careful though..
i have been burned a few times myself
granted some cd holes look genuine enough
but they are actually fake
so many people are unable to tell the difference
as so many lack critical hole expertise and discernment..
gentle reader
let me underline this for you
this is so important
just because a cd is real
does not mean its hole is
and conversely
just because an mp3 is fake
does not mean you are real..
i recall one time when a fake mp3 hole
told me i am not real
i just laughed in its non-existent face
i never heard from myself ever again..
and unlike in the hollywood films
prospective mp3 hole buyers
cannot test the purity by a simple lick of a mirror
and why would you use an mp3 hole to test a mirror
a fake mirror could easily contaminate a genuine hole
seems like common sense to me
how about you..
also..
you cannot test whether a cd hole is real
by consulting a genuine mp3 hole
as the two holes are dimensionally different from one another..
it would be like testing if hard fiat airbags are real
by crashing your fiat into your bitcoin blockchain hard wallet
i hope this makes sense only should it not..
as for vinyl holes..
the rub and scent of vinyl holes makes me sneeze
an unfortunate side effect of hay fever
and sneezing on a vinyl hole can cause it to warp and fray
and you could accidentally fall through it
and crash into another universe
and no airbag will help you with that
and not even an airbag of a really mean and street-tough fiat
so for me collecting vinyl holes is a little extreme
although i admire vinyl hole collectors immensely
a stalwart breed..
they love being spun spinning round holes
no hard holds barred holes
enamoured hammered with the music of holes
their homage to holes is truly wholesome..
and to be fair
gate-fold double vinyl holes
will never lose their value
one of my friends lovingly stores her prog metal vinyl holes
in the freezer
and when she thaws out the holes for picnics
she has to be careful not to cut her dainty fingers..
frozen vinyl holes can develop quantum stalactite/ stalagmite edges
one sniff or rub of such a hole
and you might fall into a complex concept album cave network
complete with jazz odyssey canyons
where subterranean monks chant epic fantasy lyrics
not that there is anything wrong with any of that
in fact an avid anti-matter spelunker neighbour
sold me a fabulous bootleg box set of it
ten full holes complete with undersea river air covers..
