Sunday, 27 February 2011
Prosumer, Vosumer, Spirisumer
So I heard a brand-new word today:
Prosumer.
Prosumer: professional consumer.
As opposed to..?
...amateur consumer?
Amsumer?
Wouldn't you say that most of us
are professional consumers now?
We're so prosuming;
So dedicated to the cause of consuming;
We're professional consumers of consuming:
Prosumers prosuming.
And some of us take prosuming to another level:
Vocational consuming:
It ain't just a job, but a feeling of love;
A need to serve:
Vosuming; vosumer.
And then -
Above vosumers are
Those that take consuming to its spiritual realm:
For these enlightened souls rarely consume what they buy,
They just put their new belongings away,
Until,
They say bye-bye;
And off into bags and boxes they go:
To eBay, charities or recycling.
These spiritual consumers just -
Buy,
And buy and buy:
True anti-materialists of the post-modern world:
Spiritual consumers:
Spirisumers.
Prosumer,
Vosumer,
Spirisumer:
Learn these new words today.
Friday, 25 February 2011
Moon
The heavens open,
the rains darken -
the parched moon shines ardent.
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Clock Smasher!
His face flows backwards,
Clock smasher!
Stretching a strange storm-tossed wafer-thin lily tree.
Wrinkles blow-torched,
Onion peeled and caramelised.
Synthetic tresses stapled and sown.
His gluey skull resealed,
Re-varnished,
Re-baptised:
Surgeons expertly scrape clients' time-lined anciently ravages:
Industrial dishfacers,
Manga facialists.
He's good to go!
(You don't think so?),
Unbandaged,
Relaminated:
Moon-tanned Bamby,
Drip-dry popsicle.
Shocked venriloquist eyes -
Silky as spam.
Ultraviolet,
Atomised:
Blancmange in neon -
Sparkly,
Glamorous shampoo for you now Powdery Blue!
Clock smasher!
Monday, 21 February 2011
Give Porche A Chance
Leave the poor bankers alone:
Their penthouses,
And porches,
Have feelings too.
Friday, 18 February 2011
Subliminal Movie
One full minute,
One full minute into this Hollywood movie, and,
Bang!
Four seconds of product placement advertising,
Subliminal product placement advertising, mind.
And done so cleverly I almost didn't notice I noticed.
After all,
There is an art to it;
Commerce and art in symbiosis;
There is an art to it;
Commerce and art in symbiosis;
Effortless,
Elegant,
Elephant.
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
The Heartbreak Ringtone
So the silent phone plays,
The Heartbreak Ringtone,
Even switched off
it plays The Heartbreak Ringtone.
And my dripping kitchen tap keeps the dead air swinging
in metronomic jazz-time.
One more time Sam,
One more time.
I'm in a b-movie,
Black and white,
"Happy Valentine".
So I pick up my fedora,
The plane is waiting,
I have a pizza to collect,
With my name on it.
Gotta go.
And when I return,
I know my silent ringtone will welcome me home,
And it will play all night long,
The Heartbreak Ringtone,
Like jazz.
Saturday, 12 February 2011
Four Haiku
The wake of the gliding swan,
A wave surfing
Grass hoppers on a leaf.
***************************
Rustic rainbows,
Fallen fractals,
Autumn swept.
***************************
The arctic sunrise
Spilling crimson
Simmering ice.
***************************
Porcelain wrinkles,
Rain lines windows,
Dusk glowing dim.
***************************
Monday, 7 February 2011
Love On A Cold Dentist
He gazed at her the gaze of the ages
She demurred
Purring
Throwing back her stroke my hair of shimmering river
Her smile more delicate than dream itself unfurled
Cheeks a furnace of pounding heart-crush
Her full-tilt tulip's slightly parting
Strawberry smile
Her date, the dentist fairy riled
!
And so waved the magic dentist wand
And
Smashed the poor guy's teeth in
Thursday, 3 February 2011
Sunday, 23 January 2011
That Inevitable Question
On the platform,
Waiting,
Were waiting,
A man -
Some bloke,
Walked past me,
And up to the self-service confectionery machine,
And started making noises: huh! huh! hoohauuh! hooh-hoh!
So..
I asked myself that inevitable question:
Should I turn around?
Should I turn around?
Do I really need to see why this man -
This bloke -
Is making these strange noises?
I decided:
No. No. I don't need to know at all why this man - this bloke - is still going,
Loudly now:
Huhoohahun! Hooah! Hooah! Huh!!
So,
I didn't turn around.
And then,
Of course,
I did.
He was shadow-boxing;
Shadow-boxing the self-service confectionery machine.
Ah! Ha!
I thought like Mister Clever:
Those are Kung Fu-like noises he's making:
Totally harmless.
Totally harmless,
Until he started beating the shit out of it.
Then he stopped and looked up.
At me.
Our eyes locked.
And it turned (for me anyway) like one of those westerns where a man -
Some bloke -
Walks into a bar,
And the piano player stops playing,
And the barman ducks behind the bar,
And some card players look up,
And one of them says:
We don't want no trouble mister ..
So our eyes locked.
I felt a trickle of oh shit! down my neck..
He nodded at me.
I nodded back.
And, with that,
Some quite enigmatic and elusive man-to-man understanding was reached.
Thank God for that.
Then,
He went back to punching the self-service confectionery machine.
The train arrived.
And he stopped beating the self-service confectionery machine:
He obviously had somewhere important to go.
And we both got on the train.
He sat across from me,
Picked up a discarded free newspaper to read,
And,
Read.
That probably made me ponder,
But ponder to ponder nothing much.
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
Slap Your Baby, Make It Cry
And please hush now -
TV volume up:
An important politician is orating himself,
To tears.
Off-the-wrist onanist:
Oral cavity inspiration.
So inspired, he is,
By his own words,
He's actually bringing himself to tears.
He's orating himself to tears.
Lips all a-tremble:
It's a site:
His vain of tears.
Explaining his "Nineteenth Way":
Journey..end of the night..hope..terror..better..balance..
prolapse..process..choice..vision..Nineteenth Way..economic suicide..
opportunity..equality..individuality..
love..enemies..deficit..defence..optimal..dental..reality..unblemished..the cancer of..
innocence..feral children..peace..diabetes..
positive change..traditional values..responsibility..hard-working families..torture..
crime..planet..paradise..terrorists..shoulder-to-shoulder..dreams..
us..them..more terrorists..green..immigrants..
war on..peace..God..joined-up..criminals..liberal elite..fiscal discipline..
community..
Me Prime Minister,
......Me,
..You,
......Me. Again.
......Prime Minister,
........Vote. Me.
..........Tomorrow!
Thank you..
..............................He's finished.
The possessed sway,
And chant,
And cheer.
And they cry a little too.
It's not nice.
And tomorrow I'll probably vote for this guy -
And his Nineteenth Way.
..So different, I bet, from The Eighteenth Way and The Third Way,
And the second way and the..
Balloons and streamers release, and,
One of those lite-rawk anthems blasts asinine thoughts on
believing in dreams if you reach for the something or other:
Sonic napalm for organ-gurning monkeys.
Who are these simpletons that watch this neo-fascist-like propaganda on TV?
I mean,
Apart from me?
Now this is where it gets really bad,
So turn your gaze away now if you're of a delicate disposition:
He's..
Wait for it..
He's holding someone's baby.
An evil parent has just handed him over their defenceless flesh and blood.
Bonding with nuclear blancmange - poor baby.
And now he's kissing the baby.
They say there's nothing worse than seeing a baby cry,
Oh yes there is:
Witnessing a sweet baby smile and gurgle at a corpsing vote-bandit.
The politician's vision:
Perfect 20/ vision,
Slap your baby,
Make it cry.
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