Haiku, Remote Working And Social Distancing

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COVID-19 Haiku

contact tracer kiss ~
electronic leper bells
hiss dystopia..

Hanafubuki Melody

syzygy epiphany aurora
elixir imbue vellichor
meraki opia chrisalism
dreamt dalisay susurration
zephyr redolent exulansis
redamancy kalon scintilla
psithurism radiancy komeribi..

solivagant summery susurrus
murmurous opulent petrichor
lissom lilt lithe
felicific propinquity ahimsa
tardigrade algae origami
quaintly lyra eternitarian
mellifluous cynosure panegyric..

phosphenes pareidolia silhouette
iridescent shangri-la tryst
eunoia ardent limerence
concision oneism orphic
cosmogryal lumen liminal
synesthete aura etheric
lyre fable morphic..

embers salsa sonder alpenglow
incandescence imbues ripples ineffable
euphony shimmers wanderlust chrysalis
elusive effervescent luminescence limpid
swimmingly transcendent stellar voluptuary inly fervid wondrous plash
hanafubuki melody..

Gag Persona

cheerfully so with child-like angst and wonder
i enjoy bashing my head crumpling brick wall blubber
glassy of gaze staring blank at studio monitors
bewildered-tundra-beards my eye-bags grow
as i tune my thoughts beast-mode
                           stretch limo on break-up piano..

waves of my muse lap up overlapping mud
the warbling neon theremin carousel i ride
turns out those pearls be strung-out beads of glue
yet such inspiration glows pregnant and proud
                                       every pompous beer-gut-child..

bin-liner blow-hards daresay i suck didgeridoo
but they serenade crickets my artless careering-mind me-toos
so scoff at my soi-disant tragic artist persona                   
 for as you sob i soar
                      tripping the swaying lighters
                                      hot-wired to gag for my grim catharsis..

The Great Equaliser/The Sparkling Dead

                        the sparkling dead
offerings ~
their benday-dot ligaments
torn catherine-wheel-hamsters
fire-spun and splintered
trooping treetop blood spatter patterns
rorschach tests flouresce
harvesting the tear splashes
lathering hybrid-war lineaments..

one out-of-body experience please
with a vegan sausage roll to go
i brought my own bag and third eye
i am fracking reversing timelines to hack
like nostradamus with a grind to axe
entering backwards out of greggs
          after and before the open closed
and as i pulled away from my body my spine fried hovering velcro..

celebrities share their lockdown experiences with us
why
     is it scary 
silly question star-child why
     because gentle receiver we need to know..

look here
madonna emollient as strychnine
in her tub this phantom existence dappled with candles and rose petals
a helium-breathing black-goo-gargling vogue-serpent mona lisa-machine
i hope you get the picture and i hope not
bathing she muses ~ ventilator-coronets
coronavirus is the great equaliser
baphomet-in-a-bath back of the net
and an ego that if converted into food
may feed a continent of starving children
                  as well as her auto-tuned pet goats leather
          but would the little ones be grateful disapponted..

bill gates will lean back in his jacuzzi
in invisible parenthesis
                  looking a little too chipper these days if you ask me
for he is mister vaccine and he is all about fighting viruses
unless they are on his born-given windows operating systems
then it is
              easy come
                                easy go..
lick his back
                     inhale that wellspring of tar
                                                                   no faltering..

the day after that it will be tony blair
probably in a sauna/richard branson
in his spaceship all dinky and goatee do not ask
floating above a private island
expectorating for an airline bailout
and then david milliband will join them pissing grim miasma
so please pull out your credit cards
fund the fanged night air sheer for blood plasma..

should the ghost of fred west advertise airbnb

    maybe the ghost of peter sutcliffe would advertise yorkie bars
well he used to be a long-distance lorry driver you see
     …from coast to coast
each bite a chunky big mouthful..
also should esther rantzen front childline..
oh wait..

celebrities and murderers are the we of this world
                   this world of nether worlds
and that should make you feel better
and okay so yes i got it
the lockdown might destroy the economy
but that is a small price
think of the alternative
if we were working we would have no time
              to devote to a favourite celebrity opining on novel coronavirus-nineteen
what a killer that would be..

cheer up
coronavirus-nineteen poetry is a growth industry
so get out your pots and pans
stand in the street
applaud like an a-lister needs your life to depend on them saying no to cluster bombs..
                                                                                                   

anyone found not applauding
will be beaten
            until the morale of coronavirus-nineteen-theming poetry writers improves
so throw some sympathy this way please
and make yourself mean it
this blog poet has not been issued with any pee-pee-ee
think about the-mememe
here i am toiling without an n95 mask
scribing post-rock poetry
almost like a proper poet
almost like but not quite..

fun speculative fact
where there is a depression
usually a world war follows
almost like..
                   no armageddon out of here for you and me
pyramids for the few
and bin-bag tipis for the many
the great equaliser
the is what it was the same as it ever is the same as it ever was
and that is your heads-up
not that it will make much difference.. 

Love In The Time Of Corona

around nine-thirty in the evening
the setting sun peach melba
masked like a bank robber skiing
i had to be somewhere
a nowhere to be precise
the police did not stop me
wearing a mask it is presumed is only basic good manners now
it means you are a taxpayer
a moving piece of herd-wallpaper
or it means you are a very cunning bank robber
pretending to be a taxpayer blending in endorsing the absurdist theatre
and so i journeyed thus to a faceless building
tilting at facial recognition cameras
the night was young and she was waiting
with a pump-action sanitiser
just like in the movies
or maybe not..

in the distance a couple holding hands
were ambling in my direction
lovers strolling in the eerie emptied streets
they saw me and..a beat..
             elegantly danced a few metres apart from one another
slow-step and a quarter turn each way
an invisible daisy chain stretched between them
about two metres
so that one end pulled near me
and by their air-bubble rosary i was glanced a ming vase ricochet..

and after passing them
i turned to see their concertina contract
then part..then contract
confounding another passing stranger
with or without a mask..

It Started With A Viral

so many perspectives
so many experts..

and because the mockingbird media deceive in so many ways
i refuse to believe even the opposite of what they portray
and that reflexive nudge to the controlled opposition
have you noticed how many times that has been at play
i examine their frames outside their given frames
that vast empty gallery wall has a few stories to tell
redacted manuscripts deleting even more ancient scrolls 
and it is okay to say i do not know
sometimes it might be the most intelligent and honest thing to say
and know..

stay at home
save the nhs
save lives
smash the economy
lose your job
lose your home
many suicides
                   might save the nhs
and the disaster capitalist asset strippers
will clean up all the fiat monopoly money
hunger games down at the gulag casino
that eerie silence is a heads-up..

next slide..

down at the supermarket badlands
a customer enters to return half a trolley of toilet rolls
the till supervisor shakes her head no
crestfallen the customer leaves ~ tumbleweed
a funeral procession for 3-ply fortified with aloe vera
serenaded by neil diamond singing sweet caroline
fizzing out the supermarket speakers..
..
as the customer reaches the door
the till supervisor trills
oh please remember to return our trolley
after you have returned your…to your car..
and with a clenched sotto shout of yes under his breath
a pensioner in ear-shot punches his fist in the air
schadenfreude at social distance..

hands touching hands

reaching out touching me touching you..

stay at home
save the nhs
save lives..

look at the night
and it dont seem so lonely
we fill it up with only two..

that toilet roll thing
it started with a viral
two australian women sumo wrestling
it sent out the message
toilet rolls are worth fighting for 
supplanting coke as the real thing
it went over most of our heads..

stay at home
save the nhs
save lives..

warm touching warm
reaching out touching me touching you..

furlough
what a poetry-word that is
perfect for an elegiac poem set in the countryside
like this..

through the bracken and furlough i traipsed

though my wellington boots have seen better days

my love left me for the village vicar

i hear the leather on willow

i confess it means nothing to me now..

 sweet caroline
good times never seemed so good..

London, Beta-Testing The Zombie Apocalypse

masked faces on the underground
furtive glances and suspicious stares
rain powdering the pavements with micro-dots
shy pedestrian smiles and downcast eyes..

an elderly man gazes out from his balcony
no-one visits but he has the fresh air
a bird swoops but it drops the worm
a confused squirrel traces itself across a favourite fence..

from another balcony someone waves so he waves back
time-merged circles yarn the ever-looping
another cup of coffee another opening of the fridge
on receiving an awaited text he smiles relieved and replies..

an ambulance pulls away from a drive
someone died of pneumonia ~ someone
nothing unusual but a life perhaps precious to someone has passed
a few neighbours watch from their window..

in the 24-hour grocery a hoarder buys ten noodle snacks
packets of cigarette papers and four chocolates
he sneezes a few times and the grocer laughs and asks
so what have you been sniffing..

a worker leaves a station another strange shift over
a takeaway delivered telekinetically flicks on the t.v
a news presenter eyes of darkness reads wuhan now in lockdown
it's like a pulp-novel..imagine life if that ever happened here..

Vigilant Guardian (Disliker-Crime And Thought-Safety Keyword Phrases And Definitions)

please note
once the disliker-crime law comes into effect
and it will..
      the consultation exercise always so very wearisome..

please note
                      if my enhanced senses detect you do not like me ~ the-i
       you will be confiscated and charged with committing disliker-crime..

that is your heads-up
you have been advised
we are kind
please oblige..

so say it
one two three
disliker-crime..

so please do not allow your mind
to dissolve into a verdant hothouse generator darkly dreamt
feather-bedding alarming harmful and illegal content
disliker-crime
twinkle-toe obliteration does not become you
think thought-safety..
be thought-safety
report dislikers..
 
definitions
those that operate in covert modes of so-called unmouthing ~ unmouthing-expression
share projected iterations of micro-aggression/neutrino-aggression
                                       weaponised manifesto
such oriented psychic orchestral manoeuvres discharge disliker-crime
thus a differing-crime
to be likened to lower octave hate-crime ~ native insurgency ~ spreading rumours
wilful denierism
and all thoughts so interpreted please consider sufficiently interrogated
to be tempered de-appendaged micro-managed and safely disposed..

moving on..
expanded-you
the expanded i-am
the-i-am-you..

you are my sub-play-mate
acquiesce
float and flow in our recherché pleasure dome safe-space
become
enjoy our entertainers your entertainers
they care about the things you will entertainer..

causes
and the causes enjoy causes ~ dialectical optics provided ~ eitherors
muse the received circumscribed safety-thought wisdom cocooned within the chrisalism
dance until the music stops
safe in the knowledge that the higher you rise
the quicker our intelligent exit doors will run towards you..

please note
disliking exposes bad mind composition
an incomprehension disorder defined as super-voluntary-malady
the-i as proprietor deem such thought processes unproperty
unproperty..
 
unproperty-ownership
to simple minds this dynamic may seem paradoxical contradictory
all denier-angst is a little too deep for me
please explain dystopian
although i would not recommend it..

a-ha yes..
so the-i is joyful you are learning
you are really actively listening now
good for you
see how the-i cares
programmed relater
smooth-edged predictive soothsayer..

side note
should you firewall and scramble your thoughts to squirrel away
perhaps sheathed to pave way for a fantasy revolutionary parade
sorry
that means you have too much to hide
and too much time to plaque-think 
so we will keep you busy
written rewritten
vacuumed with anti-glimmer elixir
de-wormed of unilateral thought-bubbles
re-centred and equilateralised box-fresh..

also please understand
haters of disliker-crime are likers of hate  ~ and please note all the dissidents vaporise
so let roll and unleash your civilianised road-block mind
uni-vibe in-kilter
meet your kind for they are blazing the trail in-blissed
necessarily mist yourself with essences
our mental health delicatessens arm a good crisis..
                   
         you may continue..

                         behind your closed eyes enjoy the slides..
            
                                        you have aced becoming..

Gnome Of Koans

he bulldozed that poem
a real bulldozer delivery
it came in through the back wall
to the side of the dais
eighteen volumes dropped with a thud
then part of the ceiling collapsed
to an indifferent clamouring silence..

the poet glimmered
well at least now we have ventilation
the sparse audience jock-strapped laughed
and as the bulldozer reversed to leave
the driver waved us the grimmest cheerio..

as the fallen masonry settled
the poet gazed at the mike
a mike jones who was prostrate at the front
taking a selfie
lying on top of the fallen wall
grinning
his face dusted with motes of risen concrete powder
partying like a hungover zombie ghost..

the poet dusted himself down
and blinked at the one glaring green spotlight
and this is what passes for performance poetry glamour
one glaring green spotlight..sometimes a blue one
sometimes a red one
sometimes a yellow one>>
no one said it is easy
nevertheless a half a packet of crisps
and a romantic bus ride
to an edgy part of town
while clutching this this poet..if you play your cards right
yes ladies this man could be yours
get in line
you can thank me later..

so two poems
he pointed to the thick luminous volumes
first this one
this will take around two months to deliver
so i hope you have had a toilet break..huh
and then a two-minute quickie
just to round things off nicely
a little slap-and-tickle haiku aikido before home..

two. months.
now that is what i call epic
shit
i better phone work then..

yeah hi yeah..got a really bad throat
should be okay...in two months and two minutes or so
obviously i will let you know..

silence on the other side of the phone
wouldnyajusknowit
typical mid-management passive-aggression
two months queried that voice in rising castrato octaves
yeah..plus two minutes or so..
heads up - aitch-aaarrrrhh will not be too happy i was tipped off
they never are i replied..
just take some honey and lemon
you should be fine in a day...i was advised in a last ditch attempt to make me see sense..

has anyone ever seen sensehas anyone ever so much as taken a photograph of a seen sense..

..it will not budge i promised
well not for at least two months and two minutes..
my expert diagnosis
delivered with that certain astounding precision
an uncanny gift of the work-shy
we really apply ourselves that way
always giving it some added value
i have been doing it for decades
especially when a two-month poem is on
in a basement
in a basement without ventilation
try and stop me..

back to the poem
so he picked up the first volume
and turned to the first page..

yeah so here goes

so uh yeah..

then after a couple of phantom pregnant silent seconds
we are off..

The golden hued termites
for it was they

Burnished like Assam tea

Honeyed fractal dimpled vectoring..

fuckin ell
good start man good start
honeyed fractal dimpled vectoring
go on my son..

Ergo the divine Queen

As majestic as the turmeric galleon ants
Pearl drops mop her brow

mop her brow..

yeah yeah i am liking this
i am liking this..

but.. shit i am going to rudely interrupt myself ~ did i leave the oven on
did i leave the oven on ~ did i eat that jacket potato
is the jacket potato still in the oven..burning burning..
my mind drifted..
so is my flat on fire..
what am i asking myself
where am i going with this
ah..has a burning jacket potato
set fire to my oven set fire to flat
set fire to my flat
set. fire. to..my..flat..
should i check..or..

And that is how the war beganAnd that is how the war began
And I will say it again..(silence)

(he never said it again
he said it twice)

did the poet say a war began
what war began
why would turmeric ants start a war..
but..and..also..did i leave the oven on..

so should i listen to the rest of this poem
did that jacket potato burn down my flat
or should i listen to a two month-long poem about a war
a war started by ants or termites or some such..
it does have a..a kind of netflix vibe to it..

has my flat burnt down
did i eat that jacket potato
i see no netflix vibe there
no homoerotic component..

And this is how the war began..

oh..he did say it again..

The emperor glared at his adviser

Go to the forest with hasteThere is a talking gazelle ~ The Seer

Do not dither to that frosted glade..

And that is how the war began..

the poet looked up
looked around at the sparse audience
dramatic pause
an ice cube cracked in a vodka glass...

oh dear
if i leave now
i will no longer have a reason
to be off work for two months
unless my flat burns down
that might even garner me a bit of sympathy
from aitch arrr..

The diamond arrowhead killed his betrothed

something..something..

He screamed at up at the thundering sky 
I will avenge theeThey will all die..

(distracted distracted)                     something.. 

something..something..

(words admixed with more)

And that is how the war began..

decisions decisions..

They wrestled in the golden mud

The God Emperor penguin spat his cigar out

Swearing in an obscure Uranian Viking dialect

Aurora the maiden meerkat tore off her headdress

Pulling out the beaked whale intestines

Wrapping them around her bloodied neck
Trilling

Emperor

You shall give me child

It shall..

yep

i must leave

i must leave right. now.
right. now...

They mated in the albatross nest..

festooned with rubies

and so was the nest..

the moon turned a blood red scone

the syzygy ~ heralding the foreboding feast of zabagliones..

oracles wept into boney microphones..

and that is.........

snd tha..

Aaanndd.....

[Strikethrough ~ is strikethrough one word or two]

struckthrough words into words (to fade)

(light rain)

yeah hello..just been the chemists..walking home..
walking home..from the chemists..so i will have some honey and lemon and
i am sure by tomorrow..iiiiiiiii..
...
..hello..hello..are you there..you okay..hello
....it.....(to fade)


https://youtu.be/QRg_8NNPTD8

Glowing Down, The Moon Gazes Up

with a purposeful astounding engineered precision
our mysterious moon was manoeuvred into this miraculous position
exact ratios incredibly woven so woven again and again
the interlocking perfection intricately placed for its ends..

yet the life-anchoring munificence adjudged as pure coincidence
and the entire cosmical expanse averred orderless
so bollocks to the plucked elegant scale harmonics
so hold fast to your faith in nasa rockets..

and their frozen dimpled pixels
and their smirking pixies on strings
and the studio mockery etched on the green screen
must these also be a few of your favourite things..

really ~ by happenstance from protoplasm to consciousness
chance evolution spiralled to spirit and soul
or perhaps the highest expression of source manifest
wherein every particle dances the whole..

eclipsing the divine moon this desert delusion
our nursery has bloomed for only lady luck and chance
effacing the quintessence within all beings here
resonating angles obscured the deepest answers veiled..

a blitzkrieg of facts volley and vie burden of proof
yet perhaps the finessed materialist trap occludes a higher truth
for do you suppose quantum entanglement tripping faster than light
operates in a universe apparently rolled out loveless soulless spiritless mindless..

Festive Haiku

save fish eat plastic
oceans will thank you for it ~
plastic bags boil in the bag..

insurance primes
disaster capitalists ~
your ashes their gold..

black friday offers
sacrifice christmas shoppers ~
recycle worn tyres..

the newsreader smirks
the propaganda still works ~
fake news frames fake news..

festive photographs ~
bonhomie mirages for
broken marriages..

the libor scandal
so many billions stolen
yet pin-drop silence..


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Dear Friend,
Wishing you a Happy New Year!
xx