There's No Reason For Ian Beale

Ian Beale
Slightly unreal
There's no rhyme to reason Ian Beale

Ian Beale
Beals On Wheels
There's really no reason for Ian Beale

What a pallavar
Ian Beale
There's no reason for Ian Beale
In a cardigan or in a pallavar
There's no reason for Ian Beale

Hare Rama Hare Krishna
Ian Beale Ian Beale
There's no reason for Ian Beale
Hare Hare
Not Ian Ian
There's the only reason for Ian Beale
In a cardigan or in a pallavar
There's no reason for Ian Beale

Pop Doggerel 2012

oh 
another new years's resolution over
the newer compromises keep mum
rupurt murdoch is now on twitter 
olympic gamblers train for their marathon run
and there won't be snow in africa next christmas
which is just as well 
then their crops really will be fucked
and the euro sceptics hubris will shine like syria
and coldplay are number one
it's 2012 and war with iraq is over
and another cold war with iran has just begun..

the shimmering - the origin of Dream

shimmering glitterball moonlight
crimson ribbon neon archangels' wings flutter their radiance

oud dew fragrance
inflamed chariot lovers kiss
immortal time-sand

the swooning heat vibrates

floating corner cosmos
the dilated eyes pluck out the cherry starlight
the whispering sirens anciently whisper venus breath over wing mirrors

ghostly murmuring hwwhoowhaashaaahaa

lamp lit assignation

nod or turn away
fleeting memories to savour -
the wallow of gulf stream nightingales
infatuation fleeting -

the choir aaaaaaoooowwwwaaaa

aaaaaoooowwwwaaaawhhhll

aaaaaaoooowwwwaaauu

nnnnnnhhhahahaaallmagenta as the marshalled deadly romance
dark blue as tomorrow's stairway down -

the splasher teardrops -

the inflamed sonnets porcelain

but for tonight the moth dance trips the dark fantastic
night lode night
the pure night squeeze dropship-dripping manna

the phantom echoes valley

valley echoes phantom

depth-charge transcendence

the snowflakes angel
everything falling in with you

envelop all distance
the goddess pulsation: spiral arms in her hands -
cosmic branches raising starforests -
the controller of everything
the petalled lunar eclipse cleanses the concrete waterways
peeling back the waves weaved from pulverised broken silk -
for even in england there's the lotus and the lamb

save the memory

publish later
the spirit of the dawn patrol will deal dimmering-of-night blows
but night will always away! for always this

the big bang blacked in silvery blaze

still rippling

the origin of Dream

He Needs To Scratch His Nuts, But He's On The Escalator, So There's No Way He Can Do It Now

There's no polite way of saying this:
He needs to scratch his nuts,

But he's trapped on the escalators,
So there's no way he can do it now..

It's one of those really long escalators,
And there's a beautiful woman two steps above him looking down -
Well it would be, wouldn't it?
So there's just no way he can scratch his nuts now..

The itch is on the right-side of his right one.

Driving him to insanity,
Brain-quake silent monk profanity.
Oh the inhumanity of such dead beat urbanity.
Why do gorgeous women always appear when you really don't want them to?

How can I vanish the itch on my right-side baby pomegranate?
I need to banish it with sandpaper and granite!
Why is this escalator so slow?
Maybe as many as fifty more seconds more to go..no..no, no.
Now my itch is morphing into an alien lobster -
Travelling up and tickling my knobster:
It's a fucking imposter!
I need to scatch my nuts. Now!
Forty seconds longer to go.
Forty more seconds of extreme toasted right conker,
And it's driving me fucking bonkers..
She's still looking down:
I'm a woebegoner;
I need to get hands-on the crab-nabbed doner..
Old Macdonald had an itchy doner
ow ow ow ow oh
And he needed an itch grater on the escalator
ow ow ow ow oh..
Ten more seconds to go.. 
Nine,
Eight,
Seven,
Six,
Five
and
a
half..
Five..
Nearly there..
Three,
Four,
I forgot four..
Two..
I mean three..
One!
No two,
One!
Half!
A quarter!
Zero!!

Just walk a few metres,
And past the turnstile,
And..
The itch...
- Gone?!
The cheeky bastard!
It's done one - it's gone!
How dare it do that?
Itch: Come back here right now!Come back!

Auto Sphinx

The scent, soggy,
The breath, moggy;
The chicken wing lamb,
On this train again.

Sits nothing like Buddha,
Legs splay Lynx spray gargoyle sutra.

Gnarl, gnarl, gnarl..

Masticating machete swiller,
Swooler:
The factory farm chemicals - with added poultry for seasoning,
Discover another toxic waste toothpaste dump to unspool into.
A decaying Sphinx.
A beached whale waiting to happen.
Poor kid -
A kite to blow away.
The lighthouse a night shade.

Haiku

for blue icey cold
her cherry cheeks radiate -
flush of love blossoms

Pilate Eyelet

What would Jesus do?

Cooed the camper,

What would the Romans do?

Lassoed the banker.

Eternal Flame

Love dissolves -
Indifference carries away the torch

Chatroom Debate Snapshot

So should we continue to give aid to the starving?

Dave Z says:

Don't get me wrong,

Starvation is sad,

But feeding the over-breeding so and so's,

It's just political correctness gone mad..

Veronica says:

It breaks my heart to see starving children

How can people be so cruel

We need to start believing we are related to one an other

We should learn to big love

I love everyone

Now let me introduce myself to you

- My name is veronica

I love sucking cock - if you're rich

Why not meet with me

On fuckmeifyoureamillionairedotcom

fuckmeifyoureamillionairedotcom has thousands of girls like me

we'r european and oft he high est quality

we fuck like your rabbits like fuck

fuckmeifyoureamillionairedotcom -

Now lets help with all these starving children not very nice

Mickey says:

No

Express Check-Out

more with -

less than five items
fewer -
with more

Cascading It Down To Teamzero

So on she floated on gears of again
Spirit Guiding upside-down her dream-catchers lobbing asteroids..
..and our senior manager has just been promoted to HR..

We perked up blank on that

Our corrective milling scrum in unibrow raising zing-nills UberMind
Cute and in tempo and Ego neo-spiritualized

HimalayanWe-aura ascending
Our Teamzero collective armour kerchinging
SoulConsciousnessYetis We-of-Us

Anya trilled
Senior manager?

We..we've ne-ver had a senior manager..
In organic tofu silence its sinews slaying octopusly

Like blame-charades during another Valentine anniversary dinner

Uncertain her face net-curtained the mini earthquake
As EQ mystic bingo equations deliquesced

She gurgled a name mooning her eyelash-Stone-Henges all Princess Diana mooey

Eric?

Don't you remember when he came down to meet you all to say hello? ?
Again the hello key rising in Questionstatement Australian Soap Star Jazz Scale 4/4tm
Or like Delirium's grim angel paramedic-hello hello? hello? can you try to squeeze my hand?
The monitored casualty's thimble-sipping concave breath-streams brain-ashtraying below

Definitely so..

No..

..not dead -

Yet but you know..no promises

All beautifically dribbled up and ready to fry in the next shocking episode of

Dentists

..so join us again same time tomorrow - minus twenty-five minutes or so - for the corpsing of Dennis's death-bed-confessional..

DoNGDoNGdONgDoNG

And
Welcome to the same time tomorrow
So now it's..
Dentists (!)

..so I stole lucy's guinea pig? i was so angry

she should never have done that to Me

how dare she..she build that blasted brick wall right outside our pond?

is it any wonder our goldfish were so confused like that..?..

..like they could hardly breathe?

you saw them choking? right? gran?

that's why they all had anaemia before they croaked? their lack of oxygen mentalled-out their brainstems..

aauuaauhgran gran toby..i...i... can feel myself going? like? very dead again..?

oahh denny no.!!

..ii..iit's too late..gran toby..gran tobyy..??

Den-tists..everyone needs good den-tists..

Everyone needs den-tists..even if you all have teeth

Den-tists..everyone needs good den-tists

.They. Could. Be. You. Or. Meee..

Yeah said Bob like you say he came by and said hello
But he never said why he said hello
It was just hello as in hello
NotHi I'm saying hello because I'm your senior manager here is my face for you to drillerkilldartboard
Her fish eyes dilated like origami belisha beacons slighting yellow snow

Then she recovered her composure eleven-tenths nubile conflict managemently

Anyway
He's popping by later just to say..uh..

Haha..Goodbye..

Can you believe..?Goodbye or
I'm saying goodbye as in
Hello-I-was-your-senior-manager-goodbye?
She baffled her eyelashes

So who's our senior manager now?
Felix. He'll send us a message

..Message?..Send??
He's less face-to-face than Eric?
He's really hot on not face-to-facing himself?
Her eyes drifted towards an out-of-place fire extinguisher musing it like a tarot card
..and fire extinguishers should not prop open fire doors not even in the event of a real fire let alone a simulated one..uh..

Then shrugging her triangulating shoulders

Different senior managers have different styles..?
We'll adjustOne of us stated

Closure

She salt-planed her saline smile

The Barren Spring (Riot App)

The off-licences smash-grab-trashed by lads on-the-lash;
The trainers google-map-flagged by flash-mob-Olympians dancing-the-dash;
The electronics stores ping-hash-tagged, uploaded, cache-cashed;
The neighbours' cars stone-smack-bashed, gutted - or stashed and moustached;
The newsagents papier-mache-mashed into sachets of ash;
The takeaways tandoori'd, soupcon'd and charcoal grilled with pyrotechnical panache..

And no -

No one wanted papadums with that..

The clothing arcades hosted giveaway-and-getaway negligees down alleyways;
The chemists' sprayed bouquets of Michael Faraday's more laissez faire protegees;
The baby stores pitched tearaway mum scrums,
Supplementing their love-handle ass-cracking bingo-wing oven buns,
Gravity rippling burning Rome lite relay-marathons,
Husain Bolting the chiffon,
Manning the futons,
Sending encrypted smiley emoticons,
Up and down,
Up and down,
Up and down,

Hitting home-run home runs,

As on-call baby dads GPS riot app'd,

Flooring time like neutrinos,
Tearing up the dual carriageway,

Giggling fiddling Nero's..
Yeah, it was ok;

It was all child's play..

And the Arabs who couldn't be blamed for this, rejoiced,

Hey hey..

And,
After the fire,
As volunteers vacuumed on tv with bling-brooms,
And brickbatologists cling-fumed in chatroooms,
A photographer, disbelieving, swung-zoomed on a strange bloom:
For there, through the smoke, through the clearing,
That spurned wallflower loomed:
Another book shop -
Perfectly unconsumed.