Thursday, 5 July 2018

Fifty Shades Of Freckle-Faced Dalek

i fell so hopelessly in love with a freckle-faced dalek
she was sitting in the park on a swing farouche alone
yet we got chatting and one thing naturally led to the other
so we rolled into a nearby quarry
where she plugged the scintillating us into a pylon
we mind-melded moons stars power-stations and suns
please don't feel envious of our cosmical abandon 
or this most unique slap-and-tickle trippy phenomenon 
for this e.t didn't wish to phone home..

she moved in with me
and things were wonderful for a while
yes occasionally she earnestly shot people's heads off 
kind of endearing actually
i affected not to notice 
well they say love is blind
after all she ignored my silly elastic skin
my strange pores and what she termed my louche pacifism
such an unspoken tender idyllic understanding blossomed 
we reached out for the most sensualist transmundane draw
bodice-ripping barbara cartland sci-fi booty-call and more..

the twitching of the sans net-curtained windows
caterwauling nosey neighbour trolling 
ding-dong meer cats door-mat mythologising
their aghast goggle-eyed lurid smirkings so unbecoming
how will this affect property prices mohammed
what will the estate agents think
atavistic kitchen sink moralist effrontery
sawn-off cabbage-fangled ferret-tadpole hobbity 
never an empathetic thought offered 
for her biomorphic davrosian psychopathology
as so effortlessly she floated nonchalantly on by 
like a flake advert only with a killed people admixture 
'twas still fairly classy though
and we all have our own issues don't we
beam in your own eye..

when she whispered exterminate in bed
her buttons twirled ultramarine catherine wheels
her head span 360
the ceiling fluoresced and iridesced bellatrix tropical fish starlight
hot ectoplasm dripped over burnished steel
have you ever seen a dalek orgasm in high-heels
the high-heels were ruined but oh..oh the memories
she popped my love-making-with-an-alien cherry..

she left skaro on a sabbatical
she hid her saucer 'neath an abandoned bouncy castle
she sucked up noodles through her nozzle
but she didn't like biscuits
neither do i
she described herself as a flexitarian vegan 
because she mostly eschewed paltry human beings
what a relief
so you can see why we had so much in common
it was fate or something like..

the dalek equivalent of barry white music
wafted from her woofers
the loose living ever enveloping
illicit polyester duvet/rare metal sheet loving
almost every week i was phoning in unwell 
so at twilight i could read her my poems
while she pertly upskirted wheelie bins
and lasered garden gnomes and passers by
she dropped olives in my mouth
as i stroked battery acid on her thighs
she tore off my hazmat suits
all strewn carelessly on bewildered neighbours' plastic-palace roses
what's not to like..

inevitably i suppose
you know how these things go
the cracks first started to show
first on the walls then by the fused wiring
after she exploded the washing machine
a wayward experiment in tantric appliance canoodling 
the damage wasn't covered by insurance alas
as i didn't have the foresight 
to take out fully comprehensive lustful-dalek damage cover
my bad not hers ~ 
my dimpled dappled whirling phase-shifter lover
another time she tore off the cooker lining wore it like a tiara
all very f. scott fitzgerald
i fell so hopelessly in love 
so mesmerised as i stroked her ribbon-banged bangled bevels
couldn't help myself..

we broke up after a silly argument
the knock-on-effect of her untamed hormonal diode-net
i caught her lap-dancing saucily beneath a belisha beacon
seduced by its brazen winking halterneck flirting light 
i admit as she stopped traffic then and there
for she found the essence of its orb so rare
my jealousy weaselled away unprepared
how dare she flirt with an inanimate object
i didn't understand at the time..

so it was with a teary but amicable end
i waved her farewell as her saucer lifted 
i receive a telepathic postcard from her once in a while
last heard she's living with a lunar lamp-shade-puffin
and an outlaw band of procyon sasquatch munchkins
pirating turkey-rooster orgonite tankers near the badlands of orion..

oftentimes i daydream about her fondly 
her electroshock so foxy
i yearn to join her amazing escapades 
racing her light-ship of anthracite
she took the bouncy castle with her
now floating upside-down on a martian river
out there somewhere she's repurposing pylons
and lassoing meteorites..

Wednesday, 6 June 2018

Confession: Feeding Cornflakes To A Deceased Nun Is Easy If You Don't Know What You're Doing

i accidentally fed cornflakes to a deceased nun
it wasn't on purpose
she didn't die deliberately
it was a first for both of us..

i then attempted to feed the nun coffee
to help her swallow the cornflakes
she didn't drink the coffee either
a deceased nun can't drink coffee
perhaps i should have offered her tea
i know i often learn
by such ass-backwards
esoteric ether transference experiences..

i recall my note to self
next time you are with a nun
a nun you don't realise is deceased
offer her a nice cup of tea
forget the cornflakes..
you won't receive your care work nvq level 2
if you carry on like this..
i could hear the voices
this is what you get
when you have children of indian immigrants
working in the nhs..

soon afterwards
i was consoled by a sympathetic patient nearby
who watched me try to feed the deceased nun
never mind darlin
it's the thought that counts
it was quite sweet really
almost better than telly
have you got a cigarette
she didn't look that dead you know..

i wheeled her past the fire exit door
we stood there for a few minutes
within our late 1990s curlicue pre-chemtrail haze
wrapping ourselves for dear life
while rem's what's the frequency kenneth
segued to sophie b.hawkins right beside you
the radio at the nursing station
often received
and offered such demi-angel-wave transmissions..

she asked will you get into trouble for that
for the nun..i replied
no darlin
i mean because you offered me a ciggy..
..anyway she died so you never harmed her
and she was a nun
so if she was watching you from above
trying to feed her
she would have forgiven you
nuns have out of body experiences after they're dead
like taxi drivers they have the knowledge..

i thanked her
i won't get in trouble
and hospital is the best place for smokers
so you're in the right place
so no i won't get in trouble
so no worries but thanks you're kind..

she smiled
you cheered me up
i won't forget..that..

we went back to the ward
and as i wheeled her by her bed
a porter was wheeling the nun away
wrapped in sheets like an egyptian mummy
i never saw the porter dressed like that before
and the ward sister asked me to come to the office..

were you the one who was with her..she asked
yeah..she just wanted..needed a cigarette i replied
she shook her head and laughed
don't tell me the nun smoked
nothing surprises me anymore
we're both due a coffee-break the sister mused
cheers i replied
she paused before whispering
..take it easy..
i nodded i'll try
and with our cappuccino'd plastic
we both walked to another emergency fire exit..

Monday, 14 May 2018

The CIA's Partially Redacted Who Killed Kennedy Haiku



Monday, 7 May 2018

I Am The Worms

i am the worms on the fishing hook
feel the cool breeze as i reel you in
i have done this so many times before
take the fork in the ancient road
the sweet kiss for my face
such a sense of belonging
cements the flowers..

there is your newest enemy
the debt slave persuaders
will kindly loan you loaded guns
the presstitutes will provide maimed heroes
wrapped with a pretty little bow
never wonder ~ just dance
the dark arts ~ as above so belowour stenographers your news providers
pour yourself in and dream life in my shadow
know your place is here
here's a fortune cookie
i wrote it with spoilers
and what does it say
what does it say..oh and I am the worms
i am the worms..

you are the fish in my goldfish bowl
here's some paint thinner should you have a glimmer
no sniff it try not to peer against the glass
the bubbles you blow might hit you..

with effortless precision
we slide you within cocooned division-truth frames
you may take a pre-determined side
this pond is the world
and it's all there is
it's a song
it's a sentiment
it's a coloured wristband
it's a selfie saluting a flag
move along..

and if you happen to discover
the revelation of the method
i still win
you an unwitting initiate
you comprehend the meaning of the symbols
and the signs and sigils
yet bark our whistle
it feels too easy sometimes
you see you are the fish
but i am the worms
i am the worms
and i am all there is..

few like to be heretics
you cannot bungee jump rabbit holes
only the most damned warriors
take the one way dive to nowhere
and i disappear some of them
the holders of forbidden secrets
and few care
you are the fish
but i am the worms
and i am the wormer of men..

prep yourself for the next false flag
a new operation northwoods
as a redux operation ajax perhaps
watch this space
it is our nothing new under the sun man-up
don't rise to discover your higher mind
isn't the endless hum of fear more thrilling
you are the fish my friends     
     but i am the worms
          i am the worms..


Sunday, 8 April 2018

Arachnid Death Star Vs IKEA/ I Am Starfucker Star Child

A guided gloaming giant tarantula
Umbilically detached 
Sans the smart med pilot
Outreach mode ~ kinetic
Sweeps low over the cattle throng
Protesting occupation
Collective punishment
..moan moan and moan..

One difficult child tap-tapped
At eleven o' clock 
A thrill-seeking laser-threaded precision shot
The stencilled oriflamme crowd gathers
Scrambling and scrambled numb
As the pulsing pulsating arachnid disengages
executes a perfect descent and turn
behind a hill
and a city wall
Vanishes ~
A recharge a debrief
Another overtime shift completed
The work/life balance for protesters not so easy ~
Crashing pyramids of quality time..

The child ~
Now snapped in half 
Human MDF
Unlike IKEA
IDF ~ no returns..

Commercial break
A word from the sponsors ~
A back-with-the-weather spoiler alert ~
It might rain nuisance rain
Real nuisance rain
Oh it's important

So stick around she says..

I have a low attention threshold
So before I forget
That child's TV dinner-broadcast death
Was brought to you by..
A pizzeria
A weaving spider
a sentinel vehicle..


A shopping channel 
A garden gnome special
using authentic plastic injection moulds
Online-ordered TV garden gnomes ~
You get what you pay for no
I believe in keeping it real


A chat show host 
The fabulist Minerva
Way-shower offering gifts ~
Spiritual key-learnings
And occasionally free cars
Keys tacked below seats
The hostess muses
Everything happens for a reason
Everything happens for a reason..

She nods her head sagely
Tenderly agreeing with herself
Everything happens for a reason
Everything happens for a reason..


She continues purring..
It is The Plan..
.the biggest picture..
.something we must understand..
.yes understandunderstand..und r t  nd...nd rs  n ..d..

Seemingly cruel things happen u..el
Things matter yes they do yes..but..
All is made to make us..stronger..
Nothing random..truly is..after all..

Grand design..
Infinite purpose
Tough love tough..
Everything happens for a reason
.happens. for. a.

[dramatic pause]


Close ups/pan shots of milfs enlightened
Now in touch with themselves
Heads and hearts 
healed and reconnected
Their sentient Elvis selves
cosmic booty-call mentored
by the defenestrating yoga axe-wielder
Glassy eyed third eye
but let's not be cruel
Could be the fluoride..

Getting into her stride
The words she utters ~
as she bring herself to tears
She points to us
You know who you are now don't you ~
Unique cosmic fractals special
You. Us. All.
every. one. of. you.
Never. Forget. That.
It. Is. Your. Birth right. Right..
You are all ~ unique cosmic fractals special..

To be fair and thinking of it
I feel my beautificness
If that word isn't
well then it should be
I bathe in my uxorious I am presence
I know that innately I am..
Iiiiiii ahhmmmm..

Unique sentient cosmic and special..
I coarse through my being now
Every one is me
She's so right 
So on the money
So on the money
Almost uncanny..
Well I'm converted..

Now ~ 
That child shot in the head
Mustn't have cut the mustard
Perhaps its unique fractals a little outré
Bent out of shape
The faulty tragic toddler caved in
Called in ~ you're done kid..

Beyond repair
Now at one with everyone and thing
Apart from parents and friends and toy..

Well you don't get something for nothing
Not in this life not in the next ~
Cosmic tough love belts and braces..

And yes
I'll be the first to admit
It was sad
And yet ~ 
Don't get me wrong but..
Being shot dead by a drone
Has a certain something ~
A bleeding-edge novelty value
for the more discerning infotainment viewing consumer..

I shouldn't say that should I..
I ~ me myself and I..

But I have to ask
Despite myself ~ my new self in italics
my new self in italics
      my new self in italics
            my new self in italics

Should it have been broadcast ~
I mean the drone-on-child killy thing

Especially - my italics - especially before The Watershed
Won't someone please think of the children
Or me..

Another example as illustration
Swearing on TV ~

Don't broadcasters have the few seconds delay button now
Even the International Space Station
which broadcast live anciently
now enjoys a hefty twenty-minute delay
in case something inappropriate 
is caught on space ~
I dunno..

And that child shot in the head
Inappropriate for this time of day ~
That country an ally..

Everything happens for a reason
Everything happens for a reason..

It's sinking in
It's sinking in..
Yeah I'm really feeling this shit right now
Oh yeah..

The audience comforted applaud again
Shimmering fractal snowflakes all
Such kindness so rare
And yes yes it is all is so beautiful here
 Even with the unforgiving nuisance rain
I feel so connected with everything
Sad spoils my day..
And not in a good way..

The chat show Christess 
Is brought to you by..
Eye drops 
And I never used to be able to lick my eyes
                                                             like a lizard..

Friday, 23 March 2018

Memory Embryo

river weaving sound-waves scintillate
emerald tide lapping ripples roll
spectral mother of pearl piers laminate over
earthen pebbles veiled in petrol gauze
limpid lamps glint
the shellac grey
to a murmuring waxen gold..

limbal ring sun cheeky snowdrops lick
refuse boats hum
hushing engines cello
glass bottles topple
slivers crack slivers click
nit-wit birds hammer icy bubble ravines
lapping insouciant feathers
get pissed then lifting off hit a postbox
david attenborough was not there..

a rare milk-float mirage illuminates off-kilter glints
an ambulance of collective memory flutters
the blind-sided bridge levitates echoing
the drenching misted shrapnel ner-ner ner-ners..

a high-viz man yearns
his bingo numbers ransack a muddled amour plan
a carton of noodles steams nought and zero curlicues
the vapour trail of music weaves over a glancing siren..

around she runs
runs on by
his jogger of venus
so oblivious and so oblivious..
a fleeting dream stemmed
an emptiness empire sheer spills and spills
powder blue escapades/ and a failed circuit break..
                                                  i must not look 
                                                  i must not look
                                                  i must not look
          ahh too late now… too. late. now..
..he smiles..

mermaid anti-freeze lip-sip
blown mirrors tummy-tumble
leaves turn to themselves as they whisper
piano diminuendo ~
in this sunken treasure lie hills
but why this winter in spring
hamster tears splash the wondering wheels
lily pads breach the hourglass
two nuns run for the bus with tadpoles
this memory embryo runs for its easel
eye crayons dip
bloom orchids
the inside sun bequeaths the tenderest grasp
this painting without any frame..

Monday, 26 February 2018

Far Away In My Living Room When We Have Real 3d Television

far away in my living room
when we have real 3d television
will starving huddled children
project on our carpet
will they baffle pets
realistic in every way
until you run to the kitchen
to try to feed the visitors..

i will stand there
perhaps walk around them
in the middle of my living room
cup of tea in my hand
with magical goggles i will be able to reach
and touch them all
the gloves will have sensors
connected to my visor
the children won't be able to touch me
they will be floating..

if i am watching the real 3d news
and a building has just been hit by a fighter jet
and screaming people run towards the cameraman
if i keep my visor on
will they run into my living room
and as long as i don't take my helmet off
will they be safe
and if i do take my helmet off..

perhaps if i could just throw a first aid kit
through the screen
hey catch

but what if i am pulled through the screen
and trapped on the other side..

perhaps when real 3d television arrives
we can provide goggles and visors
for the children war refugees
so they can join in the fun
they can watch us watch them
run towards the cameraman
run through the camera lens
run to the viewer who has premium subscription..

Sunday, 18 February 2018

Crimewatch Verses Spartacus ~ Blame Russia

Pinstripe broker ~ ambulatory mantis
Darting eyes on pinging pavements swivel
Twi-twoo Mini Moog prancer
Golf club satyr legs bumble
Trout pincer knees pelvis dangle
Bungee-pimp shoes squish tadpoles..

Squeegee beep-beep prowler
Online kerb-crawler lurking shark 
With his mezzanine clicks of the mouse
reserves his preferred anti-septic boudoir ~ his parlour
Throws his service provider
A wristful of PayPal 
His low-hanging broiling payload
Frazzles and drizzles expectorating deposit tantra..

Later still..
The broken more liquid Millennial
Tamps away her perfume
Closes her cubicle door
To his discharged simian pheremones
Being a student nurse isn't easy
Now also a First World indulgence
Education Education Education..Moar Woar..

Sugar daddy caveman
Bounces down a stair
Like a Michelin Man of turnip monoxide
Our cosmic ride
Shall soon flip over to super-saturated magenta
Distant patter softly louder
Drumming clip-clops magnetise
Polar shift ever closer rolling rolling
All very B. DeMille
Timpani ratatat..atat
Icy breeze blocks descending
Like a thousand crashing lifts 
The parrot screams to bounce and echo
Clipping descending shafts of chirruping light..

I am Spartacus
Oh hang on officer
No I'm not
No but..he is.. he is..
Officer do I get a finder's fee
Like on Crimewatch
All their caring viewers were an inspiration
"Remember don't have nightmares
Spartacus will soon be dealt with
And there could be a cash reward.."
Why never a gift voucher
for the runners-up I always wondered..

'Twas tell-lie-vision programming
Method Acting masterclasses
For budding Crisis Actors' drills
The saucy noir rape reconstructions
Always in the best taste
Ratings never an issue revered
Broadcast only to keep us disgusted voyeurs safe..

The Moon Tannoy announces
The next bank crash will arrive shortly
And that's the thing about buses..
And we will keep you guessing
about the Project Bluebeam ETs
The Flash Gordon false flag..

Crow wings panel-beat prayer
High rise City open windows beckon
Al-fresco salsa-dips concrete dimples
Nemesis staycation
What does this installation
remind you of Abramovic
Oh Spirit Cooking..she might say..

Fleeting divers
Another human jettisons
Zero-hour sated for the flotsam broker
Fiat currency on your never never
Uri Geller on a bender..

The public school prepping
The head master spooning you over
The pig head rituals
The squaring circles
What was it all for
Did it all really mean nothing
except 33 9 11 22 7
And other money magic numbers..

However only his final three seconds
Passed before his eyes
And it was one of those times
When a lapsed atheist priest on stand-by
might have helped profoundly
Or at least a little..

The paramedic 
would have spared you some change
No one should die like this
Empathy is weird that way
I am whispering a prayer for you too
No offence..

As for the fire fighters
Grim jokes all round
They blast-spray 
the split packaged semi-organic graffiti
Readying the pavements
For another singularity bail out
Tarmac tresses
The fall of murals 
Squirt-friendly personkind aspartame..

Theresa May 
Have you pre-prepared
The blame the miners speech 
Stylised for the 2.0
"Enough is enough..again..
The unions..again.."
The old ones are the best
And the comedy so long-forgotten
it will seem almost shiny and new..

The real ETs will weep
As human bombs drop
Simon Cowell and the Rothschilds
Will they karaoke to cannibalism
And Oprah Winfrey must await
her weirdest stage ~ her Hillary moment
Won't it happen
We're only ever one war away 
from the next one
Keep blaming Russia
And the Great Reset might be upon us yet
Super easy
We can haggle rocks for Bitcoin..

And if we survive
In only a year or two from now I guess
Amazon will be parachuting
A.I. robots from drones
And we won't even look up
from our 5g visors
As the droids crash
on the parades about us
Our brains crossfired in the burgeoning Smart Cities
Fried zombie li-fi marines we'll be
Tripping over graphene limbo limbs
And it won't seem so strange..

And the indebted student 
Virtual real Manga chick
Will ingeniously market herself
As a genuine human 
for the more old-fashioned kind of guy
~  the more sensualist NHS employee patron
Holding more old-fashioned standards..