Open Mike

Colder than a dentist's surgery
on a Monday morning,
In touch with his feminine side,
Like Genghis Khan on crack,
He's a stand-up comedian with a twinkle in his eye:
A jewel that sparkles,
With all the humanity,
Of mercury on baby-food.

More evil alien-reptilian-humanoid hybrid,
Than David Icke's worst fears,
He talks a slick game-show host,
His shtick wants to rip your asshole a new ear.
He hates because he cares,
About the cruelty of life,
He wants to open you
to his spiritual truth,
(And when you're not looking),
Open the legs of your wife.