He Spreads His Legs Wide On The Train

He spreads his legs wide on the train,
Like he's firing a missile, medium range.
Maybe his drain has constrained varicose veins,
Maybe he dreams of attracting a nymphomane..

He spreads his legs wide on the tube,
But it's your inner-zone Oyster he dreams to pass through;
So will you scuba his Cuban cigar tuba,
Or cork his bazooka for a less cocky cockatooer?

He spreads his legs wide on the bus,
For he is the egg man and he is the walrus.
A wand, his sceptre; your pot of honey,
For how long will you spurn his shot-of-money? 

He spreads his legs wide on budget planes,
He wishes you to hydroplane his polyurethane'd champagne.
And when he moons his club-class do you wax or wane?
When he raises cane do you want to crack his crane?

He spreads his legs wide on public transport,
He fancies himself as the male alpha-sort.
His love for himself is primarily self-taught,
For he docks with himself - he's the wrist-astronaut.