We Regret Your Pavement Services Are Subject To Delay

We regret your pavement services are subject to delay,
The wrong kind of leaves have blocked the passageway.
There's an old lady pile-up near the bingo alleyway,
Engineers are removing them; it will take a couple of days.


This pavement has been shut down for the next two hours,
An over ego'd celebrity chef's orangutan'd a bag of flour.
Following this pedestrian action, your pavement's lost all power.
We recommend you activate your hidden yogic-flying superpowers.


This pavement is overheating due to climate change,
Powdery sun rays are melting flagstones a crazy golf course range.
For health and safety considerations please continue your journey by plane.
For a refund claim, our pavement office is located in the deep Ukraine.


Pavement Rage - that's rage against pavements; we're striking pavementists!
We apologise to all pavement providers for our actions industrialist.
Should pavement operators wish to complain or seek our benediction,
We're conveniently located inside a pyramid in the Martian jurisdiction.