Old MacDonald 2012

Old MacDonald had a mad cow,
Woof woof meeow.

And on that farm he had a mad cat,

Mooo.

_______________________________________________

And outside his farm there was a mad badger,
I'm not mad, I'm just a bit pissed-off actually - big difference.

And standing by that pissed-off badger there was a mad Bill Oddie,
Badgers aren't mad, badgers aren't mad.

And by that pissed-off badger and a mad Bill Oddie there was a baboon,
Kill all badgers I say.

And then there was a punch-up between a Bill Oddie, a badger, and a baboon.
Woof woof meeow moo.

The Shard

Broken flashing lightening glances,
Titanium slivers trill The Shard,
A whirl of pearling rivulets stone the sterling pyramid.

That razor blade summit to slash and bleed the gods;
Pulsing megawatt sunsets Midas,
Them.

Glass spits starlight austral avalanches the ebonising Thames.

This Is The National Anthem Fit For Purpose

This is The National Anthem Fit For Purpose,
And we fit the purpose.
We sing The National Anthem Fit For Purpose.
We fit purpose singing The National Anthem Fit For Purpose.

Singing The National Anthem Fit For Purpose is purpose:
Purpose striving with purpose.

This is The National Anthem Fit For Purpose,
With added value.

We are the workforce that strive to add the value.
We value the value of adding the added value.
No is not in our dictionary.
No it isn't.
Not is not in our dictionary.
No it is not.

This national anthem of our fit for purpose country, [insert country],
Is the national anthem for the fit for purpose country, [insert same country].

We live here in this glorious land of reasonably predictable climate,
Occasional floods,
Mild nuisance droughts,
And it seems, slightly more unusual weather patterns.

• (verse probably most applicable for UK anthem practitioners only)

We tolerate our children and our elderly (not very fit for purpose);
They're inappropriate.
Must we live with that?
We love our fit-for-pet-purpose animals;
We eat the unlovable uglier ones lovely.

•  (should your fellow countrymen prefer to love children and the elderly, not pets, feel free to modify this verse as appropriate; ditto, if your countrymen prefer consuming normal, cuter animals instead of the pointless uglier ones)

We religiously add value to our added value.
We have no atheist unbelievers in value-added value.
This national anthem with added value,
Is fit for the purpose of adding value.

We fit-for-purpose delightedly,
We hosepipe-ban in this promised land when only absolutely necessary.

• (for residents of hosepipe-ban-friendly countries, or countries aspiring to hosepipe-ban-friendly status)

This is The National Anthem Fit For Purpose,
With added value value value.

The ploughman,
And the blacksmith,
The mason,
And the carpenter,
Toil with their hands:
Good and honest men with honest plans,
No longer fit for purpose.

We are the national anthem.
We are fit for purpose.
We blue-sky correctives to add to the value-added purpose purpose.

Impossible is not in our dictionary.
Cannot is not in our dictionary.
Nothing negative is not in our dictionary.
Not for nothing is nothing not in our dictionary,
No, not nothing,
Not nothing now,
Not nothing never, not never.