He Looked At The Audience So The Audience Applauded

 

so..
..happened to be at home and about to go to bed
when an uber platinum a-lister caught me
he was being interviewed on a prime-time late-night teevee chat show
he was in the middle of explaining how he managed to keep things real..

he recognised his secret needed to be shared
because it is something we all wonder about
and although i had no idea who this superstar was
still i sat forward perched on the edge of the sofa
anticipating the reveal..

i turned up the volume
it was appropriate..

right..so yeah i admit that looking at things granular from the outside
things look pretty nice you know cozz i always seem to be filmed with supermodels
snorting lines of coh-cayhne..their well-oiled shapely.... [audience laughter]
though i strenuously deny..
 
and i am not denying that..
and yessir i do have a beach-front house in malibu
and yes one in santrowpayy
and as paparazzi have shown endlessly and..hurtfully
i have a luxury yacht with luxury uhssistants..so yeah..

and most of my cars are in air-conditioned gahraar-jizz
though not so my go-karts or beach buggies
so that detail the paps never seem to mention..
soooooyeah..

and so i was saying what..
oh yeah so..you know i have all that
but i know of the real world..
here you go..here you go..i  still know..
i still know..i still know the price of margarine..so..

he looked at the audience so the audience applauded
i deliberated on his wisdom then nodded
he talks sense
he manages to keep things real
simply by letting us know that he knows..the price of margarine
that is very elegant..

and I hope that if he admits that there was this one time
one time when he forgot the price of margarine
his whole life will not be judged on that
you know how envious and harsh some people are..

after watching this interview and about to fall completely 
asleep i recalled another late-night teevee chat show interview 
where another superstar engaged in a similar spiritual practice
she informed us her audience that she knew the price of..milk..
milk not margarine..hmmm..

so breaking this down forensically
it seems that uber platinum a-list superstar celebrities
stay in touch embracing
putting in a shift by putting in the effort to let us know
usually in late-night teevee chat shows
that they are aware of the price of at least one line of dairy product
it could be margarine it could be milk
but it seems it is not necessary to know the price of both
and although that would be impressive
it might come across as a little surplus-to-requirements
and thus perhaps a little crass or braggadocios..

so now i know
if ever i were to become a superstar
i must remember to inform the great unwashed
that i know of their world knowing the price of at least one dairy product
so i will claim to know the price of vegan margarine
because that might not have been done yet..