and lo he really
had returned
and they did rejoice
and he turned water into wine
and from nothing he provided them baskets of bread
and he smashed a few 21st century temples
and he pissed off some powerful families too
that kind of thing..
and he was kind
and he did not promote divide and conquer
or literalist dogma
only love your neighbour
and the brotherhood of man
and truth..
so the authorities were on it
for they were perturbed
and they pronounced this man a dangerous heretic
they said by turning water into wine
was he not encouraging alcohol consumption
and they said by providing bread
was he not promoting carbohydrates
thus diabetes and obesity
save the nhs save lives never listen to this guy
and by challenging the narratives of leaders
was he not encouraging dangerous
dangerous and unfounded conspiracy theories..
so they had a secret meeting
and it was determined he should be de-platformed
and his followers too
and they crucified him on social media
and mainstream comedians were paid to scoff at him
and the lost sheep laughed
and mainstream commentariat generated ad hominems
and the consensus was created
and falsely accused and crushed and character assassinated
he was ostracised from polite society
he then mysteriously vanished
and people were guided
guided not to believe certain unsubstantiated rumours
defined as nothing more than alternative facts..
and the pharisees
and the money lenders
and the bloodlines
and the war machine carried on
and all was bountiful
and all was good..
never mind pal
perhaps third time lucky..
