back in the nineties
neath the pristine sparkling cerulean skies
sheer argent stars on a magic carpet ride of sapphire
easily admired even near heathrow
as the auriferous sun generously beamed above to us below..
back in my student days of the nineties
where men and women still somewhat liked one another
strange though that might seem now
even positively distasteful to some..
looking back reeling from now
seems somehow like a lost unattainable world
a little looser
not so uptight
not so much to fear
and though by no means perfect
seemed brighter and lighter
where night was not blinded by black mirrors
where thought-crime was still science fiction
where idealised futures seemed realistically attainable
and not only fantasies naively wishful..
there
there back in that time lived a man
lived a man among men
his name was jim
jim bowen..
jim bowen was a teevee gameshow host
famed for showing losing finalists what they could have won
could have won
had that fateful final question not been answered wrong..
and that was the highlight of the show for me
look at what you could have won
look..
look what you could have won..
my stone roses tape pressed on pause..
but because you answered wrong
you did not win
did not win what you could have..won..
deep stuff for my stoner-student self
jim bowen explicating
that because the contestant answered that question wrong
they won a prize
what prize you ask
in front of millions the contestant was given the opportunity
to see what they did not win
did not win what they very nearly explained jim
very nearly could have won..
the koan-like poetry of it
and all delivered by a man called jim
jim bowen
all without a hint of malice or sarcasm or irony
well none that my stoner self back then could perceive..
look at what you could have won
only showing you this as you did not win it..
the cameraman then pulled in for the final close up
to capture the baffled expression of the contestant
the contestant who had to face facts and realise
they could have won the thing they did not win
as jim bowen reinforced once again those
immortal words
look
look at what you could have won
you did not win it
but you could have
and to be fair you almost did..
the gaggle of dart-fisted supportive grannies applauded
applauded their loved ones
for not winning what could have been won
so winning the chance to witness in front of everyone
what they did not win
but could have won
and to be fair almost did ..
a..caravan..
from memory it was usually a caravan
a tiny caravan
usually only slightly bigger than the ancient citroen dyane
a caravan built to be rested in a garden full of weeds
resting on stolen bricks for its stolen wheels..
a..caravan..
and as the end credits began to roll
jim bowen invited us to join him again
for more of the same
more of the same this time next week
and millions could not resist
could not resist the chance
the chance to admire gazing at that same almost-won caravan
this time next week..
jim and all the contestants then waved to us goodbye
waved to us then
are still waving to us now the nineties
the nineties only waving not drowning..
infused with a kinder sensibility
daft but lovable teevee
life relatively carefree
and look at us now
glorious winners of all that is
all that is the unfolding merriment of the early twenty-first century..
final question
would the nineties trade in even a citroen dyane or a crap caravan
for a kingdom of tesla-transhuman superfans
careful how you answer..
the irony
an unintended irony foretold
pull back the curtain
oh..
look at what we have won..
fools gold..
