Masked Canary Emoticons In The Coal Mine

train announcement..

if you are not wearing a face covering

you may be fined up to one-thousand pounds..

well..
i think that is not nearly enough
call me old-fashioned but i believe
you should also face a firing squad
but only after you have paid your fine
and if you refuse to pay your one-grand fine
you should face two firing squads
just so you clearly get the message
it can be cruel to be kind..

do you want this poem to catch the thing
do you madly suffer metrophobia malady
have you sanitised your hands
have you sanitised your screen
have you sanitised your sanitiser
well the sanitiser cannot sanitise itself..

have you sanitised your eyes
your thoughts your emotions
your fears your aims your wishes your plans
your beliefs your dreams your nightmares
your screen emoticons..

all your ubiquitous canary-coloured emoticons
must also wear the mask
masked canary emoticons in the coal mine
smiling
           behind the mask..

we are all in this together
we
and who be this we..

we are all in this together
this
so what is the nature of this this
what is this this that we are all in together..

we are all in this together
together
who is together
together doing what
and why..

so steal my mask from my cold dead hands
call me the covid charlton heston
i shall mask my masked face
over my already masked face
call me a man of double mystery
the mister mysterymystery man..

mirror mirror
who is that masked masked man
thinking of the mask manufacturers here
for i do not want them furloughed
mirror mirror
i shall place a mask over my reflection
mirror mask reflection..

i am together here with myself with mask manufacturers
praying for that second wave to manifest
hey let us surf that second wave together
riff-off to dick dale or beach boys or stan getz
perfect music to surf the second wave..

let us surf together
second wave bosa nova
the masked girl from ipanema..

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from Ipanema goes walking
And when she passes
I smile – but  I don’t know if she sees me
Because she is also wearing a mask, social distancing...

social distancing – what a world-beating oxymoron that is

real quality and heft to that one..

wait comrade i have more gifts for you..
coronavirus - more positives
crashing cascading waves of job losses abound
it has made many of us even more mistrusting anxious and depressive
there has been a huge increase in domestic violence too

blamed not so much on the virus
but the lockdown
words have meaning ~ lockdown..
and a lockdown is not domestic violence..

now imagine if someone had told you last year
aside ~ we all have at least one nostradamus in our lives ~ i am the one in mine
that 2020 would be the year of planetary lockdown
what would you have thought..

where entire industries would be smashed to bits
with small businesses crushed
where obesity and alcoholism would steeply rise
with children locked in like abused pets
big pharma would do really well
what would you have thought..

and what would you think
if your nostradamus now let slip to you what will happen in 2021..

and how many times has someone asked you
what you think will happen next..
oh and how did you answer them
you are among friends here so do not worry..

there is something going on around here
do you know what it is mister zimmerman
go on write another song about jfk
i look forward to also hearing your latest thoughts
         on the assassination of arch duke ferdinand
you brave brave man..

and remember
we are all in this together
we we are together together..

mainstream covid-19 poetry
is almost as insightful and uplifting as post-9/11 poetry
....we were all in that together
the neo-con love-in
and we all loved one another bombing iraq
we should have banged some pots and pans then
and clapped in the streets
like performing seals
i knew something was missing when we bombed iraq together ~ pots and pans..

at least this time many clapped
and they were dismayed at those who did not
what is wrong with them they shrieked
are we all in this together together or what..

to simply ask a question
has now become a revolutionary act
my unasked for advice to you
whatever you say say nothing
instead press your mask against the mirror
read the vapour steam signals
then put your lips together and breathe away the mirror..

searching for truth for love
the love of truth..
perhaps that is what fear fears most..

atmospheric wars
the dam quakes
the bough breaks
as gently weightless as a thousand atomic bombs
the human ocean a salt plain of teardrops..

so allow me to ask you
what do you think will happen next
share your thoughts transmitted through masked steam signal emoticons..

And Next, Enjoy In The Privacy Of Your Home The Fake Alien Invasion

so what next after the incredible expanding-shrinking virus..

control/chip/track/trace/grade/score
social credit system
your health/your looks/your i.q./
your usefulness/your biometric data/your d.n.a.
shared only with big everything and their trusted partners..

fit the bill or be disposed of
never break the community guidelines..

shadow ban yourself with self-censorship
watch the popcorn/eat the porn
drink your mask through a straw
do. not. read. this. poem..

internet of human things
a.i. consumer
hypnotic ambient fog
programmed by ascendant masters
your body q.r. coded/encoded/cash no more..

so what on earth will be next
what is your guess
perhaps another thought-virus
nuttier than the last..

how about a project blue beam fake alien invasion
i would not put anything past these occultists
the more ridiculous the better
the more insidious the better
they love a good comedy
they love a bad one even more
especially when you get the jokes but still have to play along
hidden government is never inept when assuming more control
hidden hands never inefficient in the means and ways their methods roll..

and i must remember to take the vaccine
and i must remember to take the vaccine..

have you seen that new office spyware
it measures your blood pressure/your heart rate
dilation of pupils/stress levels/your efficiency/your eye movements
how long you take to take a piss
and this is when working in the privacy of your home
in the privacy of your home
we are extras in our very own blade runner
am i a replicant..

so which month will we have the october surprise

an october surprise is good any time of year
apparatus/mystery schools/aerospace/billionaire benefactors
boldly falling through the past like before..

pre-packaged breaking news..

body doubles galore/fake manifestos/assassins/patsies
manchurian candidates hypnotised/framed/murder by proxy
decoys running alongside the polka dot dress/
next..

what would earth be like if the nazis never won
they would not be in space
to help the fake aliens come
what is your guess..

p.s. if there are any real aliens reading this
and you are benevolent and benign
use your photon torpedos to take out the fake kind
terminate with extreme prejudice..

Corkscrew Conspiracy

in a parallel universe
where the flat earth is round
is the bermuda triangle a square..

Clandestine Channel Threat Commander EDT

clandestine channel threat commander
the daring new scent for the dominant alpha male
get it now while stocks last
from the exclusive perfume house of priti patel..

Deemed Encounter

so while on a date with a senior human resources officer
i felt fairly confident the encounter was holding up well
the restaurant was her choice
and the dishes served so classy
a smoothly blended hybridised concoction enjambement
of goan vegan-cydonian and atlantian-arthurian al fresco
so in other words if the dishes we explored and excavated were an animal
it would be a parrot crossed with a mastadon a walrus and a moose
standing in a fluffy-light oat-cream custard of blue-golden spirulina bon-bon gravy
metropolitan heady substantial very edgy
and yet so effortless so gastro-noir

you get the picture..

and rest assured no mythical hybrid creatures
were in any way harmed in the above scene
i would never allow it..

so let us continue..
the boutique mock-cocktails did flow
the conversation was a benday-dot lacuna bouquet of meaningful gaze ellipses
my date with the senior human resources officer
                flowed like a magical gently babbling stream
complete with playful baby dolphins frolicking porpoises and harp-playing mermaids
and where cool jade alcoves nestle below dream-mountains of organza-sheen tangerine
i hope you get the picture..

and when the waiter enquired whether we would like dessert
she replied no we will skip it
she smiled a coy candle-lit venusian sauce factory
and ..

then and there my finely sharpened male intuition sensed
an invitation to her h.r.-boudoir-insousiance
cool egyptian sheets of cotton-satin-weave
a gaudi-style balcony a frosted bottle of craft icelandic tea
utterly enchanted and enticed not thinking twice
gladly i paid the second mortgage-like restaurant bill

then we promptly departed..

outside flanked and softly enveloped by a velvety static charge
slowly we walked within our iridescent silken bubble hand in hand
that first brush of skin felt to me utterly electric
a lightly scented rain plumed and misted us wispy-pummel-silly
i felt like a sophisticated bloke character in a 60s existential french film
one of those intellectual ruffians who bowled the ladies over
with bon mots of godless wisdom
matador of the extended metaphor
seducing his smitten preening swooners kamikaze helplessly bedazzled
enamoured of his dapper gauloises-smoke-ring curlicue presence..

politically incorrect he would read out his engineered panty-dropper pondering
a meditation on why murmurations of starlings pissing over a left-bank pylon
somehow signified and presaged the imminent collapse of dreary capitalism
then he would look to the heavens and promise
by nineteen-seventy-four at the very latest
there would be mass love-ins within domed marxist ziggurat communes on mars
where even the cows would be practicing zero-gravity yoga
when they are not zooming around telekinetically piloting flying cars..

so to underline
my date with the senior human resources officer was unfolding
more spectacularly than i would dare imagine..

we walked to a nearby marble fountain now arm in arm
the magnetic moon shimmered over the lapping rippling tinkling water
distant heady laughter serenaded a lilting jazz saxophone melody
the sailing summer susurration echoing wafting floating us intertwined
as blinking neon lights dappled us a synesthete symphony
you hear the picture..

gazing down into the inky fountain the ululations mirrored
the loved-up reflection glistening
there she brushed my cheek
i could smell her niche perfume - a wow
saffron and jasmine with counterpointed vodka-marshmallow inflections
and i closed my eyes as she caressed so tenderly the back of my neck
then with her other hidden hand in a flash
she shoved and pressed my head right under the fountain water
shocked astonished i was choking i could not breathe
i thrashed as i tried to comprehend
i gurgled my final lost breaths wtf
my life played out before me
because i thought i was going to die - yes

so what did i miss how had i upset her so
and i thought the date was going so well
so what happened to my finely-tuned male intuition sixth sense
it was too late to guess i guessed..

after a while of choking somehow she lifted
then tipped me over in the fountain completely
and after i managed to scramble to safety
collapsing on the cobbled stones beneath
couples curious aswarmed and openly spied laughing at and recording me
bewildered as i looked up at the senior human resources officer
i could only choke and splutter out why and wtf..

she calmly looked down and curtly announced.. 

here is a hard copy of the form
do not worry you do not need to fill it in now
take your time
have it emailed to me by nine tomorrow
that will be fine.. 
and with that off she sashayed like an empress for sociopaths into the night..

so what had she handed to me
my skull spinning-mind-wasps had warned
the penny finally dropped i should have guessed
of course it was a self-assessment performance review form..

it was one of those from a scale of one to five questionnaires
one being poor to five being excellent
and with the small blank space at the bottom
where you could leave thoughtful feedback comment
but only if you really wished
you did not have to
have to - their spiritual advice - my italics..

so please allow me to read out her performance review questions for you 
so strap yourself in

question 1
reflecting on the date you have just enjoyed with your senior human resources officer what could you have done differently to make your senior human resources officer even happier..

question 2
what are your key learning takeaways from tonight
and how will almost choking to death from drowning improve your morale going forward..

in other words what are the recognised value-added positives that will help you to be more productive and achieve our necessary objectives..

question 3
please identify the three finest qualities of your senior human resources officer
and contrast them with your three most egregious and pathetic faults failures and weaknesses..

please be honest..

you will be asked to present these with examples at your next team-building away day..

bring with you any organic herbal lavender-chamomile-honeysuckle teabags of your choice..

and please note should you forget we will deem such action a conscious nuclear-level macro-aggression directed at the entire senior human resources team..dotdotdot
.

drenched weeping i wandered so alone pondering her perplexing questions so deep
praying to find a dark web hacker to sell me initiate-level answers for an inexpensive fee..

a little too late i finally got the picture..

Black Sky Infinity

                                                                        mister president the latest figures remain concerning
q-e vacuumed to the black sky infinity
our trade deficit hollowing out and deepening
unemployment rolls accompanying
these inverted curves certainly are hurting and yes sir
very challenging militarily economically strategically..

..and tactically general but we must not lose our nerve
so offer me good news so i may face them down with great news
this crisis stretch must be recognised less for doing terrible things
reframing the reality they are living in is now essential
general as you know and understand this is beyond party political
an inverted commas election this year tells me at least one ignoble fix is in..

and still as your commander in chief please pursue reasons to be happy
this black swan hatched and side-swiped us into this big mess
and although stocks are soaring as well they might be
for i have donated trillions more free to our corporations so recently
i know bush then obama took this crisis-opportunity for buy-backs previously
fingers-crossed my way would re-shore jobs instead so third time catastrophe-lucky..

sir dot-connecting we are assured our insiders are refining those optics
with that elliptically in mind we worked on a bold proposal for your signature
no need to do anything or weigh up troubling questions or actions
the history books already penned no references to the shredded papers sealed
the control files already opened or torched or shielded depending
the controlled opposition factotums turning distraction spits splendidly..

general i noted that and please convey our special thanks
i recall those many unspoken conversations long ago prepping with roy cohn
certain vaults must remain locked for others to remain bless-kissed open
though i must ask will there be a lot of death
the crisis actor thing works almost as well
i love my family israel america..

your family should be safe mister president
sign here and here and here sir
and we will apprise you of all slated developments
we can say this next stage is rapidly unfolding fairly left-field
and our nsa friends are hacking us as enemies
and the below the basement explosions have already begun..

okay general that will be all
giddily i will play golf drably while you rock and roll
beneath the zephyr susurrations of the palm trees
i will gaze at the lithe guests at mar-a-lago
some of them already realise and if not they soon will
our shadows are our snipers caught in this blackout web of victory..

Mock Mockingbirds

satire on the bbc
what can that be
what beef stings their bees
how can satire be on the bbc
means..

bee-bees seam
circle jerk echo chambers
hollow laughter tracks to minds marshal
what joke..

bees vet satirists
licence to puppetry..
slice strings
mesmerise them..

Exulansis

if words are only words
is there poetry..

Fourth Reich Haiku

consent voluntary
crisis opportunity ~
force compulsory..

Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities In Need Appeal (Prose Poem)

              
              Stereotypical charity appeal voiceover
                              slow and saccharine
                 emoting and slightly condescending:

In these harsh post-Covid-19 times, celebrities again are in need.
In need now. In need more now than ever. In Real need. Again..

And because celebrities are in real need - more now than ever -
celebrities need to be seen to be needed more than ever..

They don’t want divine intervention. That’s the last thing they want..

Celebrities want -need - only your time and money - and love.
Don't be critical, do be grateful..

Now look, really look into all the tired, needy celebrities’ eyes -
their globular pufferfish lost golf ball eyes..

Celebrities - frozen-out, huddling now like frowning penguins..

And the swirling Antarctic sleet that pulverises
is your banishing perverse indifference toward them..

That's not nice, is it?

Bewildered, bereft, faces like collapsed cauliflowers.
Their sagging bodies begging for urgent Botox intervention.
Their angelic Harley Street practitioners crying
reaching out for your urgent help and support..

So where has your compassion gone?
Which far-distant galaxy did it escape to? Where, civilian?

How do you think celebrities feel right now - knowing?
Knowing..Knowing that painfully ordinary people - like you -
in these harsh post-Covid-19 times
are not acknowledging their intimate and delicate celebrity needs?

Celebrity. Needs..

You see, celebrities need celebrities’ needs. And you don’t.
Celebrities need celebrities’ needs. Let this be your mantra..

So, so we need to ask ourselves this one critical question:
In this hopefully post-Covid-19 world
should our cruel abandonment of celebrities
really be a part of this so-called “new normal”?
Is this civilised? No, of course it isn’t..

Is this really why our great-grandparents fought Mister Hitler?
Is this really why our favourite deity lived or died?
Is this really why we bombarded Iraq, Libya on lies?
No. No, of course not..

I mean, what exactly is normal about not caring about celebrities? Nothing. That’s right.
Nothing is normal about not caring about celebrities.
Nothing. Nothing at all..

And it’s your fault British celebrities’ egos are starving right now.
And because of you, their egos face total fractal-annihilation
for they are not Buddha..

Your fault? Yes. For instance -
When was the last time you devoted yourself to a celebrity -
any celebrity?
Or when was the last time you gazed up at a celebrity
as they tenderly talked about themselves?
Or when was the last time you really needed
to attitudinise in-sync
with their fluffy vanity-flavoured identity politics branding?

And when was the last time you offered and dedicatedyour money and your time
to a celebrity film or TV show or album
or ghost-written autobiography or cosmetic product?

So, you can see now how you have let them down. And badly.
Badly let them down. Down badly badly down..
Interrogate yourself: What have I done today to help a celebrity?  
That’s right. What have I done today to help a celebrity?
This is the most important question on your life:
What have I done today to help a celebrity?
The answer you give defines you..

Then ask:
How, today, have I let a celebrity know how much I adore them
and cherish their very existence's very essence
more vital and meaningful than my paltry pointless own?

When was the last time I gave a celebrity my time?
When was the last time I gave a celebrity my money?
And when was the last time I gazed up in awe
as a TV celebrity opined on a cleared and vetted off-the-peg cause
cynically generated and contrived to manipulate public opinion
their fame-whore manufactured persona shills out for - for you with love?


*******************************************

Don’t despair.
The Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal is here..

You see
Celebrities in Need has always been here to help you help a celebrity
A celebrity in need.

So let’s go back in time and see a different future.
Not for you, for them.
For them, it could still be wonderful..

And think about this, too:
If we all gave only one pound a day
to the Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
we would raise enough to pay for every last British celebrity
to have no-expense-spared free holidays
in exclusive five-star celebrities-only resorts of their choice 
no less than three times a year, every year; flying first class
thus shielded and fire-walled safe from the riff-raff - you..

Now isn’t that amazing? Doesn’t that feel good?
Of course it does. It should.
Gently pat your own head as a reward..

And. If we all gifted just one pound a day
to our Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
that would be enough to pay for one full year’s supply
of purest quality cocaine for each and every celebrity who needs it..

Imagine too if we fed champagne and hand-made Belgian chocolates
to every real British celebrity.
Every. Last. One.

After all, you don’t need hand-made Belgian chocolates, do you?
British celebrities do. Especially after Covid-19.

And, there's more:
If you choose to gift just five-thousand pounds a year
to this Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
you will receive at least one postcard from a celebrity on holiday
letting you know how they are getting on..

In addition, you will also receive an autograph from a celebrity
painstakingly photocopied by their PA -
a real genuine-looking autograph - just for you.
How about that?

And, there’s more: You will also receive - as a reward -
an exclusive opinion of a celebrity on any subject of their choice.
This will help feed their drowning octopus ego. 
Go on. You know you want to..

So now you know.
Join Celebrities in Need now. Celebrities are in this together.
You can join them - at a very far distance, in spirit - one pound a day..

Now, imagine if we all are kind enough to help this vulnerable cohort
what an immeasurable difference it would make
make to their lives’ starving egos..

Celebrities in Need:
Helping raise awareness of celebrities’ complex needs
in these post-Covid-19 times..

And let's not forget we could have a second wave
followed by a third wave of Covid-19..

And Covid-20 could be along soon after
so we need to be funded, prepared for that..

And let's not even mention Covid-21..

You aren’t wonderful, but celebrities are.
So without sparing any critical thought, please give generously today..

And remember, celebrities need celebrities’ needs.
Celebrities in Need.


Thank you. 

Systemic Haiku

deja vu - again
QE to infinity ~
gulag casino..

BBC/Guardian Novichok Docudrama Hazmat-Haiku (With Added Covid-19)

wuhan labs experimented with coronvirus
must be china
porton down  five-and-a-half miles from salisbury
must be russia..

enjoy the popcorn..