The Dynamic-Anti-Perspirant Paradox

Dynamic men,
Lead,
truly dynamic lives,
DEMAND,
Dynamic t.v ads,
Advertising,
Dynamic-anti-perspirants..

Look at that man,
There on the screen,
As you stuff your face with crisps,
And processed cheese..

Look at him:
He's a truly dynamic man,
Running,
Just running,
Because he feels like running,
Because he's dynamic..

And,
Now,
He's in a very dynamic meeting,
Dynamically pointing,
At dynamic flowcharts.
God he's dynamic, isn't he?
I bet you wish you were that dynamic, don't you?
But you're not are you?

And now look at him,
In his dynamic power-shower,
Sponging himself dynamically,
With that dynamic shower-gel soap foam,
With its dynamic moisturisers,
Bathing his uxurious skin,
Dynamically.

look at him!

Now in slo-mo:
He's spraying himself moodily,
With his dynamic anti-perspirant,
Because he means it!

And now,
He's playing dynamic squash,
Because,
He's a work-hard, play-hard kind of guy.
Because,
He's,
Dynamic!

And now he's dynamically eating pasta,
With his dynamic-looking girlfriend,
Because,
He's a work-hard, play-hard,
And,
Eat-hard kind of guy.

Wow!
This dynamic anti-perspirant,
For dynamic men really works.
I'm more than impressed!

Question:
When will they sell an undynamic-anti-perspirant,
For undynamic men,
Leading,
Truly,
Undynamic lives?
Pointing at undynamic flowcharts,
In truly undynamic meetings,
Undynamically eating undynamic sloppy pasta,
With truly undynamic girlfriends?

I mean,
I've never even seen a dynamic flowchart,
Let alone point at one!
Dynamic meeting?
Do they really exist?
So where are our undynamic-anti-perspirant consumer rights?
Well,
The truth is,
If we demanded undynamic anti-perspirant,
For undynamic men,
We would then - by definition - be acting dynamically,
So,
In that case,
We would have to spray ourselves with,
Dynamic-anti-perspirant anyway!

Who'd have thought,
Choosing the correct anti-perspirant,
Would be so complicated,
And present such a paradox?
Only someone with a dynamic imagination,
Is capable of that,
And he's probably,
Right now,
Pointing at a dynamic looking flowchart,
In his dynamic meeting,
Etcetra.