For The Sceptical Tinkerbells

 

the object moved so very slowly
so unearthly it seemed as it floated up the street
the dawn chorus fell so silent
and sealed the stillness so completely
and so uniquely for even the supermarket owl stared transfixed
and i could only catch my breath through a sieve
and to challenge myself witnessing such phenomenon
three times i pinched myself to reconfirm the experience was real
for moving closer the craft seemed to resolve into a 3d-oblong
and vibrating and sounding like a distant vacuum cleaner
it swayed and lilted ever so gently
i surmised perhaps it was experiencing difficulty
phasing in and out of our dimensionality..
..
glinting off the baffled dawn light
so luminous its sides shone like rippling liquid glass
and across one side in green and black and white
were depicted strangely joyful pictographical symbols
pressed on the synthetic surfaces of its power packs
and as it began to move ever closer still
there..
there was the distinct outline of a type of being
the being peered out piloting
the being wore a visor half-covering its face
the being pressed something on a console
and an orb light projected out illuminating the surrounding space
and the vehicle slowly faded away..

before you ask
no i dare not reveal to anyone my close encounter
though elderly folk still whisper of ancient visitation myths
but at least now i know this for sure
milk floats and milk float-fairy folk still exist..

Stirred

all the clouds widened on the river stretched
the electric eel thames slept
swans for pillows
rejected dropped cigarettes..

beneath the liminal space flew the birds
escalating on snowy blue stairs of sky
the rollerbladed skater arced a scarlet umbrella
to wand the benday dot skyline..

glassy rivulets off the mossy bank sprang
somersaults of snipped limpid string
such lush composition whet sore coffee break-eyes
lavishing its panacea for the steely dullness between..

between those lines slipped light
glowed around the closed timeline curve
as a zebra crossed people for pelicans
wispy rain marbled my coffee..

the high-viz jacket of the creamy turmeric sun
wished a cloak over the slate-bright satin air
seconds stretched out like mercury drops
the night of the workday an evening away..

Why Twenty-First Century Suicides Sometimes Go Postal

 

so tell me a little about yourself..

so why did you apply for this vacancy
tell me about your relevant skill set
what is your biggest weakness
what do you most enjoy about this kind of work
what do you least enjoy about this kind of work
how must you deal with a really difficult but very important client
are you willing to be on-call at short notice
where do you see yourself in six months
as you know xxx are recognised as the leaders in the xxx industry
bearing this in mind why should xxx choose you over the other applicants..

here are some lateral questions for you..
so you are stranded on a desert island..
and not blaming anyone else
please tell me why you ended up there
what mistakes did you make
what did you do wrong
and what are your key learnings going forward..

imagine now that you are in a maximum security prison cell
there is no chance of escape
once every week you are given a small piece of string
why should that interesting offer fill you with hope..

now imagine that you have an upside-down garden gnome in front of you
sell it to me without in any way being frivolous or humorous or entertaining..

what is your biggest secret
one that you have not shared with anyone else
the more shameful and humiliating the better
unburden yourself..

one of our team-building exercises include playing russian roulette
russian roulette but only with a taser
how do you feel about that
and tell me why such an exercise builds character..

are you willing to sign our ten page non-disclosure agreement
our legally binding en-de-ay..

okay the interview is over
you may relax
well done..

so yes i am delighted to offer you the position
so how do you feel..

so you will start off on a rolling weekly contract
one that can be terminated at any time
but if you are successful and manage to stay the course
and pass the six month probationary period
we will be able to offer you
a rolling monthly contract for as long as you are required
if we have to terminate your rollong monthly contract
rest assured we will have to give you a full week of pay
how does all that sound..

congratulations and welcome aboard
you are one of the few who made the grade
you know it is not often a chance like this comes up
be proud..

The Green Celebrity Branches Out

the green celebrity was joyous the green celebrity
could not put their ghost-written autobiography down
the green celebrity waved and pointed to it
smeared across the tv sofa the green celebrity bounced on
here is a bouncy castle rising from the ass-end of new atlantis sinking
and here is the interviewer feeding the writer curve ball lines..

lines..
hardball spears of enquiry such as..
how long did it take you to write this
why did you choose this cover
and i only ask because this design is so lovely
when will your book be out as i am sure all the viewers cannot wait
your pages are very glossy
your pages smell nice
you did an extremely wonderful job choosing this high-value paper
and i know how you feel as passionately as i about high-value paper
we both know it can make or break the words..

..green celebrity your autobiography in part is also about..
being effortlessly consciously green
we know you are qualified to talk about this
you informed us so..

..so we know you lead a very green life
and in your wonderful autobiography
you offer us some practical and heartfelt tips
on how to be ever more lovingly green
tenderly and effortlessly and effectively green
you said you never have to consciously think of it
yes i can say that truly i never have..

after the drafted applause settled down
the interviewer knuckled down and pressed on..
green celebrity i am sure this will be a huge best seller
it deserves to be
thank you for being with us today green celebrity
and i think i speak for everyone
everyone here and almost everyone everywhere 
that it was such an honour to have you with us today
we need to have more..more like you
an endangered species
we really do..

to rapturous robotic applause the green celebrity smirked
and with a quick getaway minutes later..
the green celebrity sprawled within their private jet confines
the green celebrity snorted up some more of the finest lines
the finest lines that only free money can buy
the burdenless payback from bullshitting for entire minutes..

the agent gave the thumbs-up
projected pre-sales orders better than expected
an advance of a few hundred grand already in the bank
and with promotional and merchandising tie-ins
kerchinging all the fast-bred cash cows milked to abandon
cash cows have wings
nature is a wonderful thing
the green celebrity sniffed while glancing out the window
thinking of the upside from the upended down below
happy days
happy days..

well this calls for a few more lines then..
so the green celebrity and the agent 
blasted themselves into space
twinkling
as their private jet glided over grids of smoky dirt pearlescence
glinting like dying fireflies stretched out suspended on neon crosses..

next week back home on the range
waking up only hours after the crack of midday
the green celebrity decided to go for a walk
to invigorate the senses there is nothing better
nothing better than doing a few more lines
so the green celebrity did a few more lines 
bracing themselves to confront the unforgiving fresh air..

the green celebrity ambled down their lane to reach their private stream
listless and carefree the green celebrity gazed up at the branches
as they seemed to lower themselves down to greet the green celebrity
the green celebrity smiled
the green celebrity decided to rest for a while
the green celebrity leant against one ancient tree..

nestling the tree trunk the green celebrity with eyes closed
heard the leaves in the branches as they rustled mariachi
almost like unsettled rattlesnakes
and even the clean damp smell of the leaves
the wafting petrichor
the stained-glass silken mosaic komorebi
and the cool soft breeze brushing the skin
did not disturb the green celebrity..

the green celebrity meditated on..
how the majesty that allows for the green celebrity lifestyle
is indeed a manifestation of nature to wonder at..

the green celebrity began to dream
the bark of the tree seemed to softly yield
then the rustling slowly seemed to increase in speed and intensity
the green celebrity felt the embrace of..

the green celebrity stirred awake
the green celebrity noticed themselves being merged and pulled in..
the green celebrity was being interfused..
the green celebrity confused but this cannot be happening
the green celebrity was the tree becoming
the green celebrity struggled and pawed helplessly at thin air
the green celebrity shouted and tried to escape
the green celebrity seemed to disappear..

that night the green celebrity was reported missing
and over the next few days
police huddled then mapped and fanned out
and searched high and low for the green celebrity 
circling helicopters of media flew over the entire private estate
but the scent and the footprints of the green celebrity
only led and ended mysteriously next to a tree
police dogs repeatedly pawed and scratched at the bark
a team delicately dug around the tree but there was nothing..

and while police officers and a forensics team stood by the tree
the green celebrity tried to scream to them
the green celebrity was only a few steps away from them
the green celebrity screamed and screamed at them
and sometimes they seemed to be look directly at the green celebrity
and the transfixed dogs just stared and stared 
and one detective carelessly splashed their dna on the green celebrity
while throwing the dregs of their coffee all over some leaves..

then after some more discussion
photographs taken
and soil samples bagged
footprints cast to be examined
the bewildered tired teams traipsed away..

one police dog unmoving stared and stared
a kind handler patted the dog and offered up some biscuits
and leading the dog away whispered to a colleague
look
even fido seems baffled..

in many territories the ghost-written autobiography sits top of the charts
the agent has signed a lucrative deal with a producer for the biopic
and the devastated partner of the green celebrity is in negotiations
to give their side of the story for an exclusive to be syndicated
the public bought and sold are consumed buying and buying..

Opaque Transparent

 

over twenty years on i recall
the two-thousand-and-one dustified fall
how the janus-faced junta rolled again
their imploding loaded dice..

how the planetary patriot acts slipped in the prescriptive script
privacy sacrificed for their security schtick
while flag-wavers were bizarrely fed
tim osman hated freedom and a way of life..

in 01 i watched slightly more carefree
pondering and musing where this might all lead
then i concluded somewhat naively
we need not worry
for most of us will see through this..

another one for the bees then
rinse and repeat
rinse and repeat
the spell-makers hypnotise with repetition
singsong the ever-simpler fear-porn
to encore again and again
ambiently spewed out through the news and entertainment
witness the most rancid lies redux
floor supposed firmly established foundations
so please stand on your toes
raise your given flag
feel that corporatist sense of belonging
to feel some anthem inside you soaring
sacrifice for strange societies
the slam-dunked moloch-given calling..

deplatformed by the thought-censors
the real hate-crime is they betray us
the spirals circle acquiescent
we stand on the edge of the pit
complying with the final order
we throw our descendants in..

gunk goebbels gibberish we can babel fish
slay the death divinity starfish nobility
their wacky passports and indemnity
another hanged man falls from another collapsing building..

imagine
klaus schwab sings lennon
own nothing and be happy
indebted serfs weave gold for pop culture queens
vicariously dowsing sold rivers of flash frozen dreams
hollyweird actors distract whose schemes
we immerse stupefied in the smart grid
what kind of genius made us this stupid
so where will we be in another twenty years
so testing to examine
so easy to imagine..

Teams

 

the remote worker
sports the complexion of a pedigree alien grey
pyjama bottoms with shirt and tie
for the protection and dignity of others dressed a similar way
keeping up appearances
for another teams meeting
detritus strewn around his hang-out lounge
hidden below the camera eye
the sun like a disembodied orb
pulverises half his face with wishy-washy vitamin d..

the remote worker
the work abode disrobes the home abode discarded
his manager can monitor his unreal actions in real time
what applications are used and how and when
stress levels
productivity league tables
i am not spying on you
i am only here to advise and help
remember too my challenges are also being..appreciated..

freedom of the remote worker
let us say it is complicated
for a released prisoner on licence has more privacy
he only has an ankle bracelet
first world problems i should be grateful
i should be grateful
i am doing nothing wrong i should be grateful..
the remote worker apprehends that flexibility has its undertow
what the remote worker of today might turn into tomorrow..

the remote worker
two-thousand miles a millimetre
as close as a whisper hourly in the ear
yet the remote worker is envied
by those who still always have to be there
from his window he watches them lurch in slow-mo
ocular anti-bacterial faintly glowing
while in his shirt and tie and his pyjama bottoms
remote working rocking and rolling
invisibly stripped of the accoutrements of relative meaning..

cardboard microwaved twenty coffees and weird cravings
he wanders the shopping aisles
sacrosanct the free hour in his planner every day
he wanders in a park
he wanders around his lounge
then back to work
then back to the fridge
he looks inside the fridge
not for any particular reason
he just needs to look inside the fridge
he realises he has put on some weight
his smart fridge replies that so has he..

once a week he has to go in
for a real meeting
he sits next to someone
someone sits two metres apart from him
then the meeting is over
he prints a few things off the printer
he looks around this floor to catch up with some others
they are not there
and he hates whatsapp
so he goes down the lift
quiet people on escalators
quiet people on trains
the freedom of the remote worker
blade runner on teams..

i should be grateful
many say they want this..