The Green Celebrity Branches Out

the green celebrity was joyous the green celebrity
could not put their ghost-written autobiography down
the green celebrity waved and pointed to it
smeared across the tv sofa the green celebrity bounced on
here is a bouncy castle rising from the ass-end of new atlantis sinking
and here is the interviewer feeding the writer curve ball lines..

lines..
hardball spears of enquiry such as..
how long did it take you to write this
why did you choose this cover
and i only ask because this design is so lovely
when will your book be out as i am sure all the viewers cannot wait
your pages are very glossy
your pages smell nice
you did an extremely wonderful job choosing this high-value paper
and i know how you feel as passionately as i about high-value paper
we both know it can make or break the words..

..green celebrity your autobiography in part is also about..
being effortlessly consciously green
we know you are qualified to talk about this
you informed us so..

..so we know you lead a very green life
and in your wonderful autobiography
you offer us some practical and heartfelt tips
on how to be ever more lovingly green
tenderly and effortlessly and effectively green
you said you never have to consciously think of it
yes i can say that truly i never have..

after the drafted applause settled down
the interviewer knuckled down and pressed on..
green celebrity i am sure this will be a huge best seller
it deserves to be
thank you for being with us today green celebrity
and i think i speak for everyone
everyone here and almost everyone everywhere 
that it was such an honour to have you with us today
we need to have more..more like you
an endangered species
we really do..

to rapturous robotic applause the green celebrity smirked
and with a quick getaway minutes later..
the green celebrity sprawled within their private jet confines
the green celebrity snorted up some more of the finest lines
the finest lines that only free money can buy
the burdenless payback from bullshitting for entire minutes..

the agent gave the thumbs-up
projected pre-sales orders better than expected
an advance of a few hundred grand already in the bank
and with promotional and merchandising tie-ins
kerchinging all the fast-bred cash cows milked to abandon
cash cows have wings
nature is a wonderful thing
the green celebrity sniffed while glancing out the window
thinking of the upside from the upended down below
happy days
happy days..

well this calls for a few more lines then..
so the green celebrity and the agent 
blasted themselves into space
twinkling
as their private jet glided over grids of smoky dirt pearlescence
glinting like dying fireflies stretched out suspended on neon crosses..

next week back home on the range
waking up only hours after the crack of midday
the green celebrity decided to go for a walk
to invigorate the senses there is nothing better
nothing better than doing a few more lines
so the green celebrity did a few more lines 
bracing themselves to confront the unforgiving fresh air..

the green celebrity ambled down their lane to reach their private stream
listless and carefree the green celebrity gazed up at the branches
as they seemed to lower themselves down to greet the green celebrity
the green celebrity smiled
the green celebrity decided to rest for a while
the green celebrity leant against one ancient tree..

nestling the tree trunk the green celebrity with eyes closed
heard the leaves in the branches as they rustled mariachi
almost like unsettled rattlesnakes
and even the clean damp smell of the leaves
the wafting petrichor
the stained-glass silken mosaic komorebi
and the cool soft breeze brushing the skin
did not disturb the green celebrity..

the green celebrity meditated on..
how the majesty that allows for the green celebrity lifestyle
is indeed a manifestation of nature to wonder at..

the green celebrity began to dream
the bark of the tree seemed to softly yield
then the rustling slowly seemed to increase in speed and intensity
the green celebrity felt the embrace of..

the green celebrity stirred awake
the green celebrity noticed themselves being merged and pulled in..
the green celebrity was being interfused..
the green celebrity confused but this cannot be happening
the green celebrity was the tree becoming
the green celebrity struggled and pawed helplessly at thin air
the green celebrity shouted and tried to escape
the green celebrity seemed to disappear..

that night the green celebrity was reported missing
and over the next few days
police huddled then mapped and fanned out
and searched high and low for the green celebrity 
circling helicopters of media flew over the entire private estate
but the scent and the footprints of the green celebrity
only led and ended mysteriously next to a tree
police dogs repeatedly pawed and scratched at the bark
a team delicately dug around the tree but there was nothing..

and while police officers and a forensics team stood by the tree
the green celebrity tried to scream to them
the green celebrity was only a few steps away from them
the green celebrity screamed and screamed at them
and sometimes they seemed to be look directly at the green celebrity
and the transfixed dogs just stared and stared 
and one detective carelessly splashed their dna on the green celebrity
while throwing the dregs of their coffee all over some leaves..

then after some more discussion
photographs taken
and soil samples bagged
footprints cast to be examined
the bewildered tired teams traipsed away..

one police dog unmoving stared and stared
a kind handler patted the dog and offered up some biscuits
and leading the dog away whispered to a colleague
look
even fido seems baffled..

in many territories the ghost-written autobiography sits top of the charts
the agent has signed a lucrative deal with a producer for the biopic
and the devastated partner of the green celebrity is in negotiations
to give their side of the story for an exclusive to be syndicated
the public bought and sold are consumed buying and buying..