Point Of Entry

 

sitting quietly still
watching the scenery roll by
like a fleshed-out studio production
with accompanying wobbly vaudeville piano
a ski-slope slide..

the passers-by
a character study
who am i..

tufts of tumbleweed rain
another piece of scenery
windows eyes..

the scenery performs all by itself
observe
consciousness is not a spreadsheet
the fade-to-vivid..

every mundane second
silvery
one hallmark of full-blown sobriety
the intense psychedelia of the ordinary
an appreciation appearing to appear on..

i tie ribbons to a few strands of shredded drizzle
stark and saturated and striking
a guitar solo for abandoned new warehouses
the enigmatic open smile of a crumpled car bonnet
an adagio of ignored alarms
the swelling silence blows a candle..

i disappear into this
the nothing
something more than an upended zero
more than rolling green fields
living cat-dragged pedigree luminous
like a newly abandoned lover
the flat grey city plains unfold
valleys
vast ticking seconds
the weird of human..

watering reflections
water reflections
poetry with impunity
poetry without direction
so effortless
gently points..

 

The Indignantee

 

only the other day
yours truly again had to listen
listen to the tired old argumentation
about why tony blair should be stripped
stripped of his well-deserved knighthood
can you believe it..

the indignantee was puce of skin and word
livid and burning pomegranate
grim with righteous anger
a self-combusting human pamphlet
how is it that tony blair has been made a sir
i signed a petition
a petition..
and yet he is still enjoying his knighthood
what am i missing..

most of the time i am a quiet and patient man
but on this rare occasion i had to be the contrarian
and with a slightly raised voice i replied
my good man
know this
you will never amount to be even a thirty-third
a thirty-third of the man that tony blair is..

tony blair served the crown in ways that you can only dream of
have you..
selflessly gifted tax-payer checks to the military industrial complex
or declared war on a noun to usher in our beloved surveillance state
or help eliminate another half-a-million iraqi men and  women and children
to quote madeleine albright before him
..a price worth paying..
it would not hurt to show some gratitude
gratitude for such sacrifices that he helped make
for the crown
now go away and eat some yellowcake..

Should The Magistrate Go Straight To A Potato

 

surprising even herself she coyely confessed 
this is the first time i have ever seen someone do that with a potato
colour me impressed
and i cannot believe i am about to admit 
i want to try it out for myself
i desire to do it now right now 
right now
i feel a pressing urge
but i have to go to the supermarket first
for needs must..

then she stopped dead in her tracks and enquired
…but what kind of potato can do that
i mean is there a difference between a king edward and..
what about organic
it sounds silly but should i first talk to it
or rub it gently like a genie a lamp
i am a married woman so i will not stroke it
i just cannot bring myself to do something like that
not yet..

she giggled
of course i am only joking
i jest
i am not really married..

i just cannot bring myself to stroke a potato
maybe one day yes
but not just yet
i need to upgrade my potato-rubbing skill-set first
take it slowly and deliberatively step by step
yes i feel a bit of a lemon
at school i never took potato-rubbing classes for lemons..
she giggled again..

ah lemons..
and what about lemons
should i train with lemons first
or because lemons are different to potatoes
somewhat like apples are to oranges
lemons are not potatoes i think i mean..

or is it more like comparing daffodils with puffins
or is comparing lemons to potatoes
with apples to oranges
with daffodils to puffins
as silly as comparing or even contrasting the yeti
to a merengue to the loch ness monster
i hope that makes sense..
she said apologetically..

but what if the loch ness monster is a baby boomer
a baby boomer loch nes monster
who still owns a hostess trolley and a working fondue set
or am i now being very silly
this is so unlike me
honestly this is so unbelievably unlike me
i am still a magistrate
i need to remind myself that i am still a magistrate
in a medium-size town with ungodly dark edges..

and correct me if i am wrong
but a fondue set cannot make a merengue
or can it
should it
i really should know this..
she admonished herself..

she rubbed her own chin thoughtfully then pressed on
in other words
would even rubbing a lemon help me with a potato
and although i have never stroked a daffodil or a puffin
just supposing i had
just supposing i had stroked a daffodil or a puffin
or even only lightly rubbed one discreetly at arms-length
could i then go straight to a potato
or would the lemon thing still be best to start off with..

so to recap from rubbing to stroking
should i rub a daffodil then a puffin then a lemon then a potato
or should i go straight to the potato without touching a lemon
i underline
rubbing not stroking
please understand
i have my limits..

also i must ask
what kind of lemons are most like potatoes
and as importantly
what kind of lemons are least like potatoes
for example
i have eaten lemon-flavoured potatoes
but yet to have even once had a potato-flavoured lemon
do potato-flavoured lemons even exist in our world
she gazed to the heavens for a sensible answer
well maybe in russia..

she pondered
my goodness this has become so involved and so confusing
if you had told me only this morning
that i would be talking earnestly with you
about potatoes puffins lemons and daffodils and loch ness monsters
yetis fondue sets hostess trolleys baby boomers and meringues
i probably would never have believed you..

but perhaps..
but perhaps as you seem like such a decent gentleman
i probably would have
nothing is simple is it
but there it is
life is always so full of surprises
and i a middle age woman
who in one particularly memorable and carefree teenage year
enjoyed the stone roses storm their delightful signature set at wigan pier..