Zimmerman/Zapruder H**x Haiku

fabulist agent
troubadour of devil deals ~
wheels spin rolling stones..

Closet Kitten Killers Are Surveillance Deniers - Are You?

smash smash
flash flash smash flash blast
smoke bombs explode deafen fizz-whizz spiral spin
scoping lasers arc probe target 
gas masked annunaki-like liquid shadows eel-dance the walls squid-inked
electric kinetic elite commandos ~ a score
they rampage fleet through the reinforced front door caved-in jack-hammered splintered
bollocks loaded like sasquatch-in-heat melons your honour sealed in kevlar not too shabby
search separate engage
touch the hem of those garments..

so another howling puppy
another wailing kitten rescued
another fudge-tunnel-compacted bunny rabbit liberated
the abusers dragged bewildered choking
archon skulls smacked crunched by gendarmes in black
and blue disco pavements tinge scarlet
better than sex
better than christmas crossed with bravo two zero
so almost better than vegan chocolate croissants camouflaged with vegan vanilla custard..

so you should see now
you should see now why
now why smart surveillance cameras must be installed inside every british home
this rescue scene would be enabled
become so very every-day normal
many fewer kittens otherwise skewered behind closed doors ~ saved
imagine the essayess ready and waiting down your estate like this ~ imagine it..

and imagine this
kitten-bunny-rabbit-puppy-budgie abuser-tracers
delivering that all important go-go-go signal
while gazing rapt at the endless banks of hi-def 3d monitors
guiding the elite soldiers in combat
from their cavernous command kitty liberation control centres
hi-fiving while cheering our brave selfless heroes on
just like nasa hollywood..

and kittens do not worry about loss of privacy so why should you
and puppies do not worry about loss of privacy so why should you
and kittens are velvety ~ are you
and kittens are cute and wriggly ~ are you.
and have you ever seen a puppy rob a bank
thought not..

and kittens cannot read government studies ~ you can
and puppies cannot read government recommendations ~ you can
look into their cute shiny innocent marble vulnerable eyes
and explain to them why you must still have the right to privacy inside
they are begging you
and imploring you
to save their fluffy little cuddly wriggly helpless harmless chirping almost human lives..

are you a closet kitten killer
are you a puppy paedophile
are you a goldfish gobbler
do you abuse your budgie as an anal enema every once in a while..

kittens and puppies and bunny rabbits and budgies
it could be a burt bacharach song
are being massacred every day every day in so-called british homes
so to save a million tiddles we must support surveillance
loss of privacy an incredibly insignificant infinitesimal sacrifice
a government study shall proclaim so..

and we could bring back hanging
pay-per-view death telethons
would raise funds for abused bunny rabbit budgie puppy charities
let us hope that civilised society shall soon recommend so..

Black Lives On A Parallel Earth

obama cameron sarkozy
bombed libya into the stone age
consequently since then black african migrants who went to work there
now are sold openly as slaves
obama will you pay them reparations
if not why not
antifa what is your position on this..

america uk and france
ten-thousand sorties over libya
many many thousands died
and yet and yet pin-drop silence
no marches
no banners
no empathy
even with the help of google maps most protesters could not find libya or somalia
have we seen on our teevee so much as one libyan weeping widow or orphan
grazed with a teardrop
they breed them tough over there ~ black bones do not crack over there
and let us not even mention yemen..

our great gift of democracy ~
misdescribing north africans escaping it
drowning in the mediterranean ~ all are rapefugees ~ nice ..

right now america is bombing somalia
and has been since dubya
dubya obama trump ~ pepsi or coke ~ it is what it was
that fourth-world country still a huge threat to empire
so those very black lives must continue to expire
american bombs are still dropping on them right now ~ right now
although you would not know it watching cnn or fox or the bbc
social justice for libyans and somalians does not seem to exist
is this silence for you also deafening
both the left and the right are united on this ~ no..

thus that american cop who took his own version of the knee
is not so dissimilar in spirit to his in-action military
the american military is also very multi-cultural
those fighter pilots dropping bombs on people throwing rocks
attacking raytheon drones
are black brown and white
male and female
but they are just doing their job so that is alright..

perhaps on a parallel earth somalian and libyan bombed  black lives really do matter
but not on this one
not for anyone..

Downing Street: Today's Covid-19 Daily Press Briefing - The Best Bits

and the government coronavirus chief medical advisor continued..
flashy new ventilator lights are working well
they twinkle prettily
actually much better than we expected
and once you are switched on to them that is it ~ blast-off..

watch football
have a barbeque..
watch football
have a barbeque..

and if you do not have a mask
a vinyl doormat taped over your mouth will work wonders
no harm in trying..

and did i mention
soon you might also be able to watch some football on the tell-lie-vision
with optional real fake virtual crowd noise added
with cardboard cut-out people social distancing on the empty terraces
plebs..

you may also visit a car showroom
but please avoid driving a car
you may also visit a garden centre
with up to five garden gnomes from your immediate household..

proviso ~
direct your garden gnomes to stand at least one metre apart from one another
and in an abundance of caution at least three metres away from you
you may talk to them but only in the open air outdoors
with the wind at your back and with the gnomes down-wind in front of you
gnomes must wear bespoke pandemic n95 gnome-masks
especially when they are conversing with youalways wear overalls and a tunic
it is vital..

please note fake chinese garden gnomes cannot spread the virus
even when they are wearing fake n95 gnome-masks..

please do not pick up your gnomes to stroke them on your lap
control that urge
yes we know it is not easy
but in these unusual and difficult times
we must embrace and get used to these new strictures and modalities..

stay at home
save lives
i might have been banging your wife..

stay at home
save lives
i might have been banging your wife..

pleb ~
you believed your wife was at home
while you were working in strained conditions down on some granny farm
wrong term ~ care home
so sorry..

first slide please..

this table
is my study table and shows me on top of your wife
she is taking it enthusiastically doggy style
i am always vigorous
that is my kind of lockdown
but put simply it cannot be yours ~ pleb~directive..

stay at home
save lives
i might have been banging your wife..
stay at home
save lives
i might have been banging your wife..

so now over to secretary of state priti patel
she will take you through the latest figures
go priti..


and secretary of state priti patel said..
thank you
hello viewers
i am trying not to smirk duper delight
are you scared yet..

here are the latest figures..

seven eight nine eleven twenty-two and thirty-three
and the bonus ball is forty-two
and that concludes the lottery draw..

and so far in the you-kay nearly forty-thousand real people have died
but nearly forty-thousand is not actually forty-thousand
but we can do it
imagine this is like a telethon
we might not even need that much touted second new and improved pandemic wave
although we may bring it in anyway just for shits and giggles..

stay at home
save lives
we can do what we like..
stay at home
save lives
we can do what we like..

please get yourself tested so we can acquire your valuable dee-en-eh data
so i strongly encourage you to download the contact tracer app
it will be very good for you
the lady who once headed talk talk will be running it..

additionally in the not to distant future our mandatory vaccines will be free
so are you scared yet..

we are all in this together
we are all in this together remember..

football
car showrooms
garden centres
gnome cars..
car gardens
scented footballs
snowball gardens
scented showroom gnome cars gardenia footballs..

Haiku, Remote Working And Social Distancing

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                                                                      .....

COVID-19 Haiku

contact tracer kiss ~
electronic leper bells
hiss dystopia..

Hanafubuki Melody

syzygy epiphany aurora
elixir imbue vellichor
meraki opia chrisalism
dreamt dalisay susurration
zephyr redolent exulansis
redamancy kalon scintilla
psithurism radiancy komeribi..

solivagant summery susurrus
murmurous opulent petrichor
lissom lilt lithe
felicific propinquity ahimsa
tardigrade algae origami
quaintly lyra eternitarian
mellifluous cynosure panegyric..

phosphenes pareidolia silhouette
iridescent shangri-la tryst
eunoia ardent limerence
concision oneism orphic
cosmogryal lumen liminal
synesthete aura etheric
lyre fable morphic..

embers salsa sonder alpenglow
incandescence imbues ripples ineffable
euphony shimmers wanderlust chrysalis
elusive effervescent luminescence limpid
swimmingly transcendent stellar voluptuary inly fervid wondrous plash
hanafubuki melody..

Gag Persona

cheerfully so with child-like angst and wonder
i enjoy bashing my head crumpling brick wall blubber
glassy of gaze staring blank at studio monitors
bewildered-tundra-beards my eye-bags grow
as i tune my thoughts beast-mode
                           stretch limo on break-up piano..

waves of my muse lap up overlapping mud
the warbling neon theremin carousel i ride
turns out those pearls be strung-out beads of glue
yet such inspiration glows pregnant and proud
                                       every pompous beer-gut-child..

bin-liner blow-hards daresay i suck didgeridoo
but they serenade crickets my artless careering-mind me-toos
so scoff at my soi-disant tragic artist persona                   
 for as you sob i soar
                      tripping the swaying lighters
                                      hot-wired to gag for my grim catharsis..

The Great Equaliser/The Sparkling Dead

                        the sparkling dead
offerings ~
their benday-dot ligaments
torn catherine-wheel-hamsters
fire-spun and splintered
trooping treetop blood spatter patterns
rorschach tests flouresce
harvesting the tear splashes
lathering hybrid-war lineaments..

one out-of-body experience please
with a vegan sausage roll to go
i brought my own bag and third eye
i am fracking reversing timelines to hack
like nostradamus with a grind to axe
entering backwards out of greggs
          after and before the open closed
and as i pulled away from my body my spine fried hovering velcro..

celebrities share their lockdown experiences with us
why
     is it scary 
silly question star-child why
     because gentle receiver we need to know..

look here
madonna emollient as strychnine
in her tub this phantom existence dappled with candles and rose petals
a helium-breathing black-goo-gargling vogue-serpent mona lisa-machine
i hope you get the picture and i hope not
bathing she muses ~ ventilator-coronets
coronavirus is the great equaliser
baphomet-in-a-bath back of the net
and an ego that if converted into food
may feed a continent of starving children
                  as well as her auto-tuned pet goats leather
          but would the little ones be grateful disapponted..

bill gates will lean back in his jacuzzi
in invisible parenthesis
                  looking a little too chipper these days if you ask me
for he is mister vaccine and he is all about fighting viruses
unless they are on his born-given windows operating systems
then it is
              easy come
                                easy go..
lick his back
                     inhale that wellspring of tar
                                                                   no faltering..

the day after that it will be tony blair
probably in a sauna/richard branson
in his spaceship all dinky and goatee do not ask
floating above a private island
expectorating for an airline bailout
and then david milliband will join them pissing grim miasma
so please pull out your credit cards
fund the fanged night air sheer for blood plasma..

should the ghost of fred west advertise airbnb

    maybe the ghost of peter sutcliffe would advertise yorkie bars
well he used to be a long-distance lorry driver you see
     …from coast to coast
each bite a chunky big mouthful..
also should esther rantzen front childline..
oh wait..

celebrities and murderers are the we of this world
                   this world of nether worlds
and that should make you feel better
and okay so yes i got it
the lockdown might destroy the economy
but that is a small price
think of the alternative
if we were working we would have no time
              to devote to a favourite celebrity opining on novel coronavirus-nineteen
what a killer that would be..

cheer up
coronavirus-nineteen poetry is a growth industry
so get out your pots and pans
stand in the street
applaud like an a-lister needs your life to depend on them saying no to cluster bombs..
                                                                                                   

anyone found not applauding
will be beaten
            until the morale of coronavirus-nineteen-theming poetry writers improves
so throw some sympathy this way please
and make yourself mean it
this blog poet has not been issued with any pee-pee-ee
think about the-mememe
here i am toiling without an n95 mask
scribing post-rock poetry
almost like a proper poet
almost like but not quite..

fun speculative fact
where there is a depression
usually a world war follows
almost like..
                   no armageddon out of here for you and me
pyramids for the few
and bin-bag tipis for the many
the great equaliser
the is what it was the same as it ever is the same as it ever was
and that is your heads-up
not that it will make much difference.. 

Love In The Time Of Corona

around nine-thirty in the evening
the setting sun peach melba
masked like a bank robber skiing
i had to be somewhere
a nowhere to be precise
the police did not stop me
wearing a mask it is presumed is only basic good manners now
it means you are a taxpayer
a moving piece of herd-wallpaper
or it means you are a very cunning bank robber
pretending to be a taxpayer blending in endorsing the absurdist theatre
and so i journeyed thus to a faceless building
tilting at facial recognition cameras
the night was young and she was waiting
with a pump-action sanitiser
just like in the movies
or maybe not..

in the distance a couple holding hands
were ambling in my direction
lovers strolling in the eerie emptied streets
they saw me and..a beat..
             elegantly danced a few metres apart from one another
slow-step and a quarter turn each way
an invisible daisy chain stretched between them
about two metres
so that one end pulled near me
and by their air-bubble rosary i was glanced a ming vase ricochet..

and after passing them
i turned to see their concertina contract
then part..then contract
confounding another passing stranger
with or without a mask..

It Started With A Viral

so many perspectives
so many experts..

and because the mockingbird media deceive in so many ways
i refuse to believe even the opposite of what they portray
and that reflexive nudge to the controlled opposition
have you noticed how many times that has been at play
i examine their frames outside their given frames
that vast empty gallery wall has a few stories to tell
redacted manuscripts deleting even more ancient scrolls 
and it is okay to say i do not know
sometimes it might be the most intelligent and honest thing to say
and know..

stay at home
save the nhs
save lives
smash the economy
lose your job
lose your home
many suicides
                   might save the nhs
and the disaster capitalist asset strippers
will clean up all the fiat monopoly money
hunger games down at the gulag casino
that eerie silence is a heads-up..

next slide..

down at the supermarket badlands
a customer enters to return half a trolley of toilet rolls
the till supervisor shakes her head no
crestfallen the customer leaves ~ tumbleweed
a funeral procession for 3-ply fortified with aloe vera
serenaded by neil diamond singing sweet caroline
fizzing out the supermarket speakers..
..
as the customer reaches the door
the till supervisor trills
oh please remember to return our trolley
after you have returned your…to your car..
and with a clenched sotto shout of yes under his breath
a pensioner in ear-shot punches his fist in the air
schadenfreude at social distance..

hands touching hands

reaching out touching me touching you..

stay at home
save the nhs
save lives..

look at the night
and it dont seem so lonely
we fill it up with only two..

that toilet roll thing
it started with a viral
two australian women sumo wrestling
it sent out the message
toilet rolls are worth fighting for 
supplanting coke as the real thing
it went over most of our heads..

stay at home
save the nhs
save lives..

warm touching warm
reaching out touching me touching you..

furlough
what a poetry-word that is
perfect for an elegiac poem set in the countryside
like this..

through the bracken and furlough i traipsed

though my wellington boots have seen better days

my love left me for the village vicar

i hear the leather on willow

i confess it means nothing to me now..

 sweet caroline
good times never seemed so good..

London, Beta-Testing The Zombie Apocalypse

masked faces on the underground
furtive glances and suspicious stares
rain powdering the pavements with micro-dots
shy pedestrian smiles and downcast eyes..

an elderly man gazes out from his balcony
no-one visits but he has the fresh air
a bird swoops but it drops the worm
a confused squirrel traces itself across a favourite fence..

from another balcony someone waves so he waves back
time-merged circles yarn the ever-looping
another cup of coffee another opening of the fridge
on receiving an awaited text he smiles relieved and replies..

an ambulance pulls away from a drive
someone died of pneumonia ~ someone
nothing unusual but a life perhaps precious to someone has passed
a few neighbours watch from their window..

in the 24-hour grocery a hoarder buys ten noodle snacks
packets of cigarette papers and four chocolates
he sneezes a few times and the grocer laughs and asks
so what have you been sniffing..

a worker leaves a station another strange shift over
a takeaway delivered telekinetically flicks on the t.v
a news presenter eyes of darkness reads wuhan now in lockdown
it's like a pulp-novel..imagine life if that ever happened here..