The Extremist In Wonderland

 

the breaking news strapline rolls across the screen
caught finally
hunted down
trapped and cornered like a wild and dangerous rabid animal
shot dead by intelligence officers
thankfully the danger now over
normal service will resume shortly
this crazy individual is no longer a threat to us all
our way of life
the brave officers are thanked by the prime minister
and the majesty and the city..

so i chill out and watch a cake baking show
a judge looks at a contestant and proclaims
this blancmange is good enough to eat..in france
the contestant now crying because he made a nice blancmange
a blancmange that is good enough to eat..in france..

and all makes sense now
and again everything falls into its proper perspective
and again all is in its right place
and again there is a god..

but i gaze out the window
i am afraid i cannot help myself
pondering and questioning while recollecting..

so this whole strange nonsense began late last year
he always hit them/us randomly
then disappeared
seemingly effortlessly vanished
vanished just vanished..

the essential questions were asked
who is he..
why..
is he doing this alone or is he part of a secret network..
and what are his motivations..
when and where will this unhinged disrupter strike next..

his first time oh where was it
yes his first hit was in that shopping precinct
funny thing is i go there sometimes
it could have been me then
how my life would have profoundly changed
i know that i am being selfish thinking like that
but there it is..

then that music festival
he struck right when the headliner was playing
becoming more brazen
right out there in the open air 
he then casually walked away
so casually
lost himself in the melee
around eighty-thousand people affected
granted some more than others
but they all witnessed it
when interviewed some witnesses were crying
weeping that they could never be the same again
they felt so different now
how could they remain unaffected
after seeing all of it
and after feeling all of it..

and again and again and again he hit
another cinema hall
another night club
another restaurant
another place of worship
one bus after another
one train after another
one airport after another
he would not stop
perhaps he could not stop
he never issued any kind of warning
he hit again and again and again
male female black brown white rich poor young old
it seemed to make no difference to him at all
one hospital ward after another
one hospice after another
a few times he even hit veterinary surgeries
imagine that
even animals were a target
there was no stopping him
no place was off limits
what was he thinking the media asked
what gave hime the right..

and some people were beginning to see him as a hero..

the experts did a psychological profile
surprise surprise the experts solemnly deduced
he probably kept himself to himself 
probably had no friends
probably unemployed or a remote worker
some kind of..something
someone who did not be want to be noticed
someone who did not share our values
therefore an extremist
and what could be worse than that
we were directed
that we should not want to be like him
not to think like him
not to act like him..

after ploughing through all the cctv images
and cross referencing them with all the other state surveillance data
finally they were able to narrow down his base of operations
but it took a while
he did not make it easy for them
he was always one step ahead
some asked whether he had a sympathiser on the inside
either way he was calculating he was ruthless and he was clever..

but in the dead of last night
they tightened the noose
he was on them though
and he ran down an alleyway to make his escape
but they were waiting
and they shot dead the random healer
for they had no other option..

The Spiked Bodies Luminesce New Jerusalem

 
what is meant..

so now in the uk 
the jabz-hesitant are being offered wine
take the experimental mRNA
for free wine..

they mRNAd some rats
and all the rats died
rest assured it is safe for humans
for our bodies are different..

operation warp speed..
believe in the orange jesus/obama bin biden
the gain-of-function continuity
would you buy a used car off mister fauci
or mister gates..

spikers entice with wine..
so what would jesus say..

so what would jesus say
he might say
do you really need to ask me that..

and what kind of jerusalem is this
and if william blake were alive today
how long would it be before
all his meaning of his new jerusalem poem
is inverted
inverted yet again
spiked..

Conversation With A Trusting Jab Frag Magnet (Normal Thing)

it was early morning
the sunrise a blotted lava lozenge
volcano magma tangerine
felt so cold in this building..

the lift door opened
he was whistling
i said hi how are things
he said good though his left arm is still really hurting
it still feels pretty numb
he said he still cannot lift anything..

i said sorry did you have an accident
he said no
it is an after-effect of the jabs
he had his second eleven days back
and his arm has felt this numb way since then
so i asked him if he mentioned this to his doctor
he replied no he did not really want to bother his doc with it
so he just phoned up his surgery
they reassured him it was nothing to worry about
in fact it proves the vaccines are working well in his system
and the nausea and headaches are normal too..

he may have caught the look on my face
for he said no honestly it will okay
no need to worry mate
because lots of people feel this way
as it is a normal thing..

he was trying to reassure me
so i nodded
he carried on whistling
i went down the lift
and walked out the building..

the bastards..

Vacuumed Bookcases On A Ventilator

 

during covid should our vacuum cleaners also wear masks
they breathe in our expelled infecting air and dust
and should our vacuum cleaners then catch covid
what would happen if they are put on ventilators..

vacuum  cleaner on a ventilator
its serious
girlfriend in a vacuum cleaner
that is also pretty serious
did that vacuum cleaner really go out with her..

watching the talking heads on tv have you noticed 
many seem to have copious bookcases
shelves stacked and nestled earnestly sky-high behind them
caressing and enfolding the erudite talking heads
each and every remote tv guest
it seems has their very own library
oh how their cases to infinity put me to shame..

members of parliament
with bookcases
sports personalities
with bookcases
celebrities
with bookcases
bookcases
with bookcases..

and oftentimes the bookcases
seem to hold the same books
in the same order
on the same shelves
even leaning against one another the same way
lying in the same way
proof positive great minds really do think alike..

bookshelves in a vacuum cleaner on a ventilator
its serious
did those bookshelves in a vacuum cleaner on a ventilator
really go out with her..

The Third Coming Might Never Be Deleted

 

and lo he really had returned
and they did rejoice
and he turned water into wine
and from nothing he provided them baskets of bread
and he smashed a few 21^st century temples
and he pissed off some powerful families too
that kind of thing..

and he was kind
and he did not promote divide and conquer
or literalist dogma
only love your neighbour
and the brotherhood of man
and truth..

so the authorities were on it
for they were perturbed
and they pronounced this man a dangerous heretic
they said by turning water into wine
was he not encouraging alcohol consumption
and they said by providing bread
was he not promoting carbohydrates
thus diabetes and obesity
save the nhs save lives never listen to this guy
and by challenging the narratives of leaders
was he not encouraging dangerous
dangerous and unfounded conspiracy theories..

so they had a secret meeting
and it was determined he should be de-platformed
and his followers too
and they crucified him on social media
and mainstream comedians were paid to scoff at him
and the lost sheep laughed
and mainstream commentariat generated ad hominems
and the consensus was created
and falsely accused and crushed and character assassinated
he was ostracised from polite society
he then mysteriously vanished
and people were guided
guided not to believe certain unsubstantiated rumours
defined as nothing more than alternative facts..

and the pharisees
and the money lenders
and the bloodlines
and the war machine carried on
and all was bountiful
and all was good..

never mind pal
perhaps third time lucky..

CULTure Haiku

 

paint for the tasteless
awards and fame await you
the low ceilings spit..

solstice submarine
grotesque triptychs/black hole sun
from stone henge to this..

talented vanquished
connected shit-sandwiching
for the bred slices..

abracadabra
the cult lies in the culture
initiating..

if the christ returned
would he smash art galleries
temples of mammon..

all is inversion
yet the angels of nature
still may sing within..

Breaking News

 
so although he will not receive a telegram from the queen for reaching 100..

in 1988 the prince said this
“In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, to contribute something to solving overpopulation.”

time to put three masks on your face..
let the sycophantic poetry/tv news begin..
tributes will pour in..

A Crap Songwriter From A Parallel Earth Writes A Crap Song About A Parallel Earth

 
i am a labrador sell-out superstar with fourteen human pets
how cute their innocent batty eyelashy oval eyes are
as they joyously throw me fetched twigs
honestly i am humbled at their purposeful puppy loyalty
just look how besottedly these beasts gaze down at me
so no i could never lick them out my palatial marble kennel
the hu-rights beagles would smoke my head for experiments
and oftentimes i wonder do furry reprobates like me
ever deserve to own such sensitive two-legged creatures..

sometimes when i bark they seem so prescient
are the funny sounds they make really a living language
such untroubling empathetic and considerate companions
they seem to wish me to truly comprehend
so for this rock god so glam a dog
truly his best friend is man
they just wag..

sadly now in their twentieth decade
the squalling loch ness solar wars rage
streaking helium missiles fire this glowing lozenge down
as the tropical climate cooling
may soon wipe out all life from planet sun
thus hammerhead mermaids are still singing the reds
as twitchy lunar shark fairies kamikaze-dive
meanwhile i am a tortured labrador songwriter
press-ganged into action my once-yearly five-to-nine..

after i hang down the fountain pen phone
my manager on whisker stimulating hormones stoned
flannels my face off the mouse-and-bone
you see my contract stipulates
a last bad song is required for release
so the growing vinyl ice cap sheets
are already slain by fair trade terminator trees
and ready to be pressed into plastic ingot mp3s
but speaking creatively this dog star feels so drained
yet i bet gentle reader you feel little sorrow for me
you will point me to the long-distance star-sheep
on minimum baa-baa for moos
so it is for them you weep i see..

but i am compelled to sing to fight climate freeze
for i am instructed so
for this is the way solar showbiz gravity leans
and you thought landing on sideways is so easy
well now you know..

as i stroke one of my older pups named hairy pete
a rare moscovite/yorkshire cross-breed moustachieff
it hits me like a giant sumo flea
i should write a somesense song about a parallel earth
a fun-to-believe parallel earth
where humans are intelligent
and where dogs are their pets
and where wars are not fought between fur groups
or between mermaid militias
and loch ness sky-killer fairy hot-heads
but between humans and..
oh some other else
and these intelligent humans to highlight
live on static roundets not spinning-plate satellite suns
where they say their ground is too warm
too warm..
irony eh
at least making the video should be fun..

i remain hopeful the complete lamp post out of me
my friendly critics will not take
we belong to the same secret kennel society
so surely they will be minded to say
oh look he must be so unbaked
he sounds like a total sobriety case
sniffing around groupies sensitive to save their innocent virginity
my badness he has really found his whiskers this time
intelligent humans with dog pets
in a parallel reality that might even make sense
and it is not too clever to threaten us like satire..

so i take a time-in
and on my land-cloud i wander
then i lick my bollocks empowering myself lovingly
and then take a dump on the infinity veranda
my puppies go walkies to fetch my swag
with forceps they place forensically into diamond bags
the booty for fine wine ingredients i nod and wag
they pass the quality test
i pat my pets on their dull roundy baldy heads
and reward and throw them some humanee treats
like chicken-flavoured plastic nibbles and serious cigarettes..

now i need some story embellishment for dippy sentiment
to throw in the stadium-friendly climate-freeze chorus
the chicks love the meaningless mindfulness so faux
shame that i am a dog then
although we now live on a sun
where chicks and cats and dogs can get it on
even vegan pirate moggies flying the saffron sea
now only sport imitation human skin eyepatch thongs..

so how about this for a chorus
we bomb fellow dogs but not killer trees
but we were once all puppies
we care about human pets that cannot lick their testes
more than we care about poor kitten vets oh please
kiss my fat lizard of zeta reticuleee..
blah blah..
you get the feel
angsty sixth-form idealism may yet get me out of here..

so i better write that down
before i doodle something too intellectual
i might be able to integrate this into the middle ten
before throwing in a groin-gurning harp solo
the segue for shredding trampolining-triplet tambourine..

i am the doggynaut major fido
crashed on a parallel earth
the human military walked me to an abductee base
where they interrogated me
and tried to stroke me with biscuits
can you believe it..
okay that seems like a nice start
so what should i call this epic song
how about this for a title
the earth that fell doggie off a star..

oh wait a minute
would that make too much sense
the earth that fell doggie off a star..
sorry but may i rudely interrupt myself
no the song title should read
who on earth fell off the dog
or maybe it should be
the dog on earth who fell off a star
or
off the earth star fell the dog
or
who the star dog fell on the earth off..

who the star dog fell on the earth off
hmm..ah no..
i think i have it
the star dog off the earth fell on
yeah that should get me to number one
the star dog off the earth fell on..

okay phew back to the easy bit
the lyric
no one gives a human crap about that..
major fido to sky submarine control
my tail is in legcuffs
can you hear my desperate howls
here humans own this planet
and dogs and cats are pets
their plants do not eat their cows
their doctors would be treated by our vets
do you believe me
can you hear me..
yep that sounds the silly-smart side of squid
so i must definitely keep that verse in..

sky submarine control to major fido
have you been abducted
is your space submarine not low
is their planet also square
or is it shaped like an oblate pear
are their planes also round
and do humans there sniff the ground
it sounds so crazy
so craaaazzyy..oh poodle baybee..
yes i must throw a poodle into this lyric mix
as they are an important demographic..

but i must ask
is this hippy doggy-prog poetry a tad too much
and will i have to regrow a mutt-mullet
does this sound too dangerous too metaphysical..
humans with dog-size brains..
might that even be considered blasphemous
within the more crazy climes below these solar flames..

and will i expand dangerously my fans their imaginations
so instead should i play safe and write a song
about dog meets dog
and cat meets cat
and how we should all get along
like elephants and pelicans
problem is i have already done that cliché crap
like a thousand times
and who needs to hear yet another love song
june-moon rhyming about elephants jiggy with pelicans
yawn..

major fido to sky submarine control
funky caterpillars to crying gnomes
the humans eat burgers that feed disease
fortified with real steroid-jacked cows
sliced under long-life fake cheese
which they chew as treats almost every day
and when their children misbehave
they are fed healthy vegetables
and they keep their pineal gland fresh and clean
by brushing their teeth with fluoride cream..
it is so craaazy
         so craaaazy yeah..

oh man that seems a bit heavy and preachy to me
and would a world
especially an intelligent human world
be as stupid as that
so should i perhaps counterbalance and lighten this
with heartfelt and tender tragic pathos romance..
oh baby i miss the smell of your fur
i wonder whether you have found another labrador
or am i still your itchy flea
i feel like a sad-in-space missing poochy
wheelie beings everywhere are following me
i got no bones and am losing my fur
i want a spoon to sniff the sun
i need a stun gun cow..
i need a stun gun cow..

oh brilliant
at long last
i have always dreamt  of having a stun gun cow in a song
other songwriters will be so envious
i bet they will howl
why did i not think of that
ah dog
my lyrics cry for some character as this
it seems so obvious now..

okay almost over
here is the coda
my merman said to get things done
you better do a mess on my lawn
…….i need a stun gun cow
my merman said to get things done
you better do a mess on my lawn
……i need a stun gun cow
my merman said to get things done
you better do a mess on my lawn
……i need a stun gun cow..

 

No Song For The Indebted

 

the lockdown zoom armies
bleary-eyed and stressed and fractious
at home overlord eagle eyes monitor
the cybernauts tether
spy software for audit trails
watching the fattened tire
galloping in zero-gravity
swimming restless legs
softly circling inside-out
and sad children like wilted plants
in open prison lockdown
their under developing folded-in minds cave in
unintended consequences tended so tenderly..

the lockdown zoom armies
sculpted forms shred/boxed-in air-locked
immersed in cartons sanctioned
ass-backwards kundalini
sliding door-eyes lizard
their tyre skids snakeline flat-curves
mRNA celebrities
dribble vinegar on tv breakfast sofas
jabbed two-masked grannies give thumbs-up
timed implosions tick-tock
blood clots under ice rinks pure coinkidinks
concerned clinicians like frightened deer
msm say stay informed/nothing to see here..

the lockdown zoom armies
sweat like installation art totems
as drooling senior directors coil ready to spring
gravity beams on the moon-rocked
predictably sheer downhill they sail
more flotsam for that table top exercise
the great reset take your cue
new rules and rituals pipeline
orchid-festooned porcupines present
ritualised dank candyfloss benevolence
greener beaches roll in bankrupt tides
cleaner skies rain on cabin crews and sun-kissed livelihoods
more debt-slavery consequences still softly killing with its song..

What Is That Godly Tennis Racket/The Folded Arms Do Not Lie (Post Rock Panegyric)

For spiritual uplift, please watch this first. Let your ear buds boldly go baldly loud.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8IKnEoynH

this poem contains a mogwai audience strobing..

post-rock yoga the default position
some men with sage beards
all women without
shy smiles
heads slowly bobbing
in deep meditation/repose
arms folded
unfold
refold
the default post-rock yoga position..

heads bobbing/arms folded
some men with sage beards
all women without
their sage beards on the inside
this is what it is all about
arms unfolded fold unfold
pause then refold
no messing around..

benign professorial smiles
heads of the band raise upside-down
eyes closed open wide
the service will now begin
soundscapes outside/landscapes inside..

blissful melancholia in a tumble dryer
pear ice-cream on the moon
firm-footed shimmer for the film scores to ski
elves shift the sonic goalposts
logic on toast with tree tops to go..

fingers tapping/liquid legs master stoic
hamstrings tense/relax/tense/relax
the advanced post-rock yoga position
please consult your doctor first..

panoramic cinematic rivers for ankles beards and ears
one person now waving an arm slowly
easter island statue strikes glitterball lights
subbuteo with daisies
water tying shoelaces a haiku..

polite clapping and a few woo
arms fold more tightly for the orgasmic release
watershed torrents flood
a finger on the lips in pause and bliss
it is the only thing to do..

unknown colours pull out their aces
what is that godly tennis racket
salt plains echo through the drums
hamster aliens drive elephantine spaceships
and that is only the beginning..

tight arms also nodding
heads delightedly fold
some salute their mobile phone
then back to the default post-rock yoga position
sonic sanyasi..

shape shifted out the fire escape
soul delicatessen munchkins
the torsion physics of undulating symmetrical elbows
tsunami of dappled gems
in kumquat a quango of horizontal biceps
loosen neath lanterns
candyfloss super strings and augmented sevenths
to the goodbye night sky the stars wave hello..

the folded arms do not lie
the folded arms do not lie..

 
companion poem: 
https://sukispangles.blogspot.com/2015/09/post-rock-song-titles-that-probably.html

Ladies And Gentlemen You Will No Longer Be

 

poet of testicle ~
never assume one/two-testicle ownership is for men only
poet of uterus ~
non-females will have the right-to-uterus(TM) and to be with child
poet of cyborg spirituality ~
never say artificial intelligence-enhanced poet
poet of déjà vu sensibility ~
never say predictable/cliché-ridden/identarian poet
poet of leveraged levity ~
never say witless/humourless poet..

poet of diabetes-positivity ~
let us celebrate the sugar-challenged lifestyle together
poet of thwarted talent characteristics ~
never say overrated/crap poet
poet of creative privilege ~
never say talented poet
poet of atonality ~
never say monotone or boring poet
poet of colour/bame poet ~
never forget to lump together recognise all non-white poets so..

First World Problems

 

those thrums are her heartstrings sympathising
her beat disclosing
as she so gently closes the back door
self-metamorphosing
and the moonlight introduces the sunrise..

the digital world clocks the analogue
deadlines
yet this man is not a machine not a device
he knows the risk assessment
the imprisoning kind of self-denial..

to be
but oftentimes we simply have no choice
vision realised only in fevered dreams
the wish to seem to be
satiating the spirit with dream addiction
first world problems..

first world problems
get drunk on spit
extinguish your fire
generate credit-debt the trinkets bill and return to buyer trip-wired
first world problems..

time-out for sense gratification
ding-ding ego thrills and spills
the psychic corollary to that ponzi scheme
the status traps and all the pulp fiction
the guilt trips
and where restriction generates stagnation
inevitably resentment wretchedly rides in
all fabulous ways to encase your restless spirit
so what about it
and what of it..

of your spirit the spirit
your soul spirit your heart
maybe you should you bin it
as it breathes you
tumbles with you
being in reflective moments gently whispering
in resignation and self-abandonment screaming
first world problems
look how vain
i should be content surviving
who the hell do i think i am
discontent
thinking again
time to put away such childish things
first world problems..

so dear spirit shut-up animating
shut-up trying to sing
self-actualisation yeah pretty words for pretty words
but what does that nonsense even mean
i mean really
only that it is a self-delusional myth
peddled by kidult schemers with no responsibilities
gazing through skylights
following their own  crumbs in basements
first world problems
for clowns who believe in father christmas..

should i
redefine nihilistic annihilation as transcendence
to benchmark and plot and test
my new mantra could be
i must resist myself
i must resist myself
it would be so much easier than resisting all else
perhaps i could read this as a strange kind of spiritual test
that might help..

what about the next promotion
the next trophy holiday
the next trophy partner
my ghostly self will ride shotgun
noble in glass
i shall slay my needless spirit i will martyr it
sword my heart to stone
yes i must reprioritise this as my number one goal
after all it might not be such a tough ask
and then i can get busy being my own trophy badass
so much for first world problems
time to do the right thing
for myself and for mine..

just no
and that no means no
i know there is more
and there is more than one way to be selfless and to give
to taste the imperfect balance rare
more than just another friday
more than nursing the instant
more than walking in a desert
proudly taking a selfie in front of an oasis
for digital thumbs to share
no need to walk on water to see
being embittered is not the way to be..

deferred gratification and endurance
self-discovery with heart
anciently some wise beings from a very different world
said that being is its own reward
and millions deemed failed beings being created their great art
i take full responsibility
yesterday like the day before i failed
and i am hopeful that will only be the start..