Fourth Reich Haiku

consent voluntary
crisis opportunity ~
force compulsory..

Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities In Need Appeal (Prose Poem)

              
              Stereotypical charity appeal voiceover
                              slow and saccharine
                 emoting and slightly condescending:

In these harsh post-Covid-19 times, celebrities again are in need.
In need now. In need more now than ever. In Real need. Again..

And because celebrities are in real need - more now than ever -
celebrities need to be seen to be needed more than ever..

They don’t want divine intervention. That’s the last thing they want..

Celebrities want -need - only your time and money - and love.
Don't be critical, do be grateful..

Now look, really look into all the tired, needy celebrities’ eyes -
their globular pufferfish lost golf ball eyes..

Celebrities - frozen-out, huddling now like frowning penguins..

And the swirling Antarctic sleet that pulverises
is your banishing perverse indifference toward them..

That's not nice, is it?

Bewildered, bereft, faces like collapsed cauliflowers.
Their sagging bodies begging for urgent Botox intervention.
Their angelic Harley Street practitioners crying
reaching out for your urgent help and support..

So where has your compassion gone?
Which far-distant galaxy did it escape to? Where, civilian?

How do you think celebrities feel right now - knowing?
Knowing..Knowing that painfully ordinary people - like you -
in these harsh post-Covid-19 times
are not acknowledging their intimate and delicate celebrity needs?

Celebrity. Needs..

You see, celebrities need celebrities’ needs. And you don’t.
Celebrities need celebrities’ needs. Let this be your mantra..

So, so we need to ask ourselves this one critical question:
In this hopefully post-Covid-19 world
should our cruel abandonment of celebrities
really be a part of this so-called “new normal”?
Is this civilised? No, of course it isn’t..

Is this really why our great-grandparents fought Mister Hitler?
Is this really why our favourite deity lived or died?
Is this really why we bombarded Iraq, Libya on lies?
No. No, of course not..

I mean, what exactly is normal about not caring about celebrities? Nothing. That’s right.
Nothing is normal about not caring about celebrities.
Nothing. Nothing at all..

And it’s your fault British celebrities’ egos are starving right now.
And because of you, their egos face total fractal-annihilation
for they are not Buddha..

Your fault? Yes. For instance -
When was the last time you devoted yourself to a celebrity -
any celebrity?
Or when was the last time you gazed up at a celebrity
as they tenderly talked about themselves?
Or when was the last time you really needed
to attitudinise in-sync
with their fluffy vanity-flavoured identity politics branding?

And when was the last time you offered and dedicatedyour money and your time
to a celebrity film or TV show or album
or ghost-written autobiography or cosmetic product?

So, you can see now how you have let them down. And badly.
Badly let them down. Down badly badly down..
Interrogate yourself: What have I done today to help a celebrity?  
That’s right. What have I done today to help a celebrity?
This is the most important question on your life:
What have I done today to help a celebrity?
The answer you give defines you..

Then ask:
How, today, have I let a celebrity know how much I adore them
and cherish their very existence's very essence
more vital and meaningful than my paltry pointless own?

When was the last time I gave a celebrity my time?
When was the last time I gave a celebrity my money?
And when was the last time I gazed up in awe
as a TV celebrity opined on a cleared and vetted off-the-peg cause
cynically generated and contrived to manipulate public opinion
their fame-whore manufactured persona shills out for - for you with love?


*******************************************

Don’t despair.
The Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal is here..

You see
Celebrities in Need has always been here to help you help a celebrity
A celebrity in need.

So let’s go back in time and see a different future.
Not for you, for them.
For them, it could still be wonderful..

And think about this, too:
If we all gave only one pound a day
to the Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
we would raise enough to pay for every last British celebrity
to have no-expense-spared free holidays
in exclusive five-star celebrities-only resorts of their choice 
no less than three times a year, every year; flying first class
thus shielded and fire-walled safe from the riff-raff - you..

Now isn’t that amazing? Doesn’t that feel good?
Of course it does. It should.
Gently pat your own head as a reward..

And. If we all gifted just one pound a day
to our Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
that would be enough to pay for one full year’s supply
of purest quality cocaine for each and every celebrity who needs it..

Imagine too if we fed champagne and hand-made Belgian chocolates
to every real British celebrity.
Every. Last. One.

After all, you don’t need hand-made Belgian chocolates, do you?
British celebrities do. Especially after Covid-19.

And, there's more:
If you choose to gift just five-thousand pounds a year
to this Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
you will receive at least one postcard from a celebrity on holiday
letting you know how they are getting on..

In addition, you will also receive an autograph from a celebrity
painstakingly photocopied by their PA -
a real genuine-looking autograph - just for you.
How about that?

And, there’s more: You will also receive - as a reward -
an exclusive opinion of a celebrity on any subject of their choice.
This will help feed their drowning octopus ego. 
Go on. You know you want to..

So now you know.
Join Celebrities in Need now. Celebrities are in this together.
You can join them - at a very far distance, in spirit - one pound a day..

Now, imagine if we all are kind enough to help this vulnerable cohort
what an immeasurable difference it would make
make to their lives’ starving egos..

Celebrities in Need:
Helping raise awareness of celebrities’ complex needs
in these post-Covid-19 times..

And let's not forget we could have a second wave
followed by a third wave of Covid-19..

And Covid-20 could be along soon after
so we need to be funded, prepared for that..

And let's not even mention Covid-21..

You aren’t wonderful, but celebrities are.
So without sparing any critical thought, please give generously today..

And remember, celebrities need celebrities’ needs.
Celebrities in Need.


Thank you. 

Systemic Haiku

deja vu - again
QE to infinity ~
gulag casino..

BBC/Guardian Novichok Docudrama Hazmat-Haiku (With Added Covid-19)

wuhan labs experimented with coronvirus
must be china
porton down  five-and-a-half miles from salisbury
must be russia..

enjoy the popcorn..

Zimmerman/Zapruder H**x Haiku

fabulist agent
troubadour of devil deals ~
wheels spin rolling stones..

Closet Kitten Killers Are Surveillance Deniers - Are You?

smash smash
flash flash smash flash blast
smoke bombs explode deafen fizz-whizz spiral spin
scoping lasers arc probe target 
gas masked annunaki-like liquid shadows eel-dance the walls squid-inked
electric kinetic elite commandos ~ a score
they rampage fleet through the reinforced front door caved-in jack-hammered splintered
bollocks loaded like sasquatch-in-heat melons your honour sealed in kevlar not too shabby
search separate engage
touch the hem of those garments..

so another howling puppy
another wailing kitten rescued
another fudge-tunnel-compacted bunny rabbit liberated
the abusers dragged bewildered choking
archon skulls smacked crunched by gendarmes in black
and blue disco pavements tinge scarlet
better than sex
better than christmas crossed with bravo two zero
so almost better than vegan chocolate croissants camouflaged with vegan vanilla custard..

so you should see now
you should see now why
now why smart surveillance cameras must be installed inside every british home
this rescue scene would be enabled
become so very every-day normal
many fewer kittens otherwise skewered behind closed doors ~ saved
imagine the essayess ready and waiting down your estate like this ~ imagine it..

and imagine this
kitten-bunny-rabbit-puppy-budgie abuser-tracers
delivering that all important go-go-go signal
while gazing rapt at the endless banks of hi-def 3d monitors
guiding the elite soldiers in combat
from their cavernous command kitty liberation control centres
hi-fiving while cheering our brave selfless heroes on
just like nasa hollywood..

and kittens do not worry about loss of privacy so why should you
and puppies do not worry about loss of privacy so why should you
and kittens are velvety ~ are you
and kittens are cute and wriggly ~ are you.
and have you ever seen a puppy rob a bank
thought not..

and kittens cannot read government studies ~ you can
and puppies cannot read government recommendations ~ you can
look into their cute shiny innocent marble vulnerable eyes
and explain to them why you must still have the right to privacy inside
they are begging you
and imploring you
to save their fluffy little cuddly wriggly helpless harmless chirping almost human lives..

are you a closet kitten killer
are you a puppy paedophile
are you a goldfish gobbler
do you abuse your budgie as an anal enema every once in a while..

kittens and puppies and bunny rabbits and budgies
it could be a burt bacharach song
are being massacred every day every day in so-called british homes
so to save a million tiddles we must support surveillance
loss of privacy an incredibly insignificant infinitesimal sacrifice
a government study shall proclaim so..

and we could bring back hanging
pay-per-view death telethons
would raise funds for abused bunny rabbit budgie puppy charities
let us hope that civilised society shall soon recommend so..

Black Lives On A Parallel Earth

obama cameron sarkozy
bombed libya into the stone age
consequently since then black african migrants who went to work there
now are sold openly as slaves
obama will you pay them reparations
if not why not
antifa what is your position on this..

america uk and france
ten-thousand sorties over libya
many many thousands died
and yet and yet pin-drop silence
no marches
no banners
no empathy
even with the help of google maps most protesters could not find libya or somalia
have we seen on our teevee so much as one libyan weeping widow or orphan
grazed with a teardrop
they breed them tough over there ~ black bones do not crack over there
and let us not even mention yemen..

our great gift of democracy ~
misdescribing north africans escaping it
drowning in the mediterranean ~ all are rapefugees ~ nice ..

right now america is bombing somalia
and has been since dubya
dubya obama trump ~ pepsi or coke ~ it is what it was
that fourth-world country still a huge threat to empire
so those very black lives must continue to expire
american bombs are still dropping on them right now ~ right now
although you would not know it watching cnn or fox or the bbc
social justice for libyans and somalians does not seem to exist
is this silence for you also deafening
both the left and the right are united on this ~ no..

thus that american cop who took his own version of the knee
is not so dissimilar in spirit to his in-action military
the american military is also very multi-cultural
those fighter pilots dropping bombs on people throwing rocks
attacking raytheon drones
are black brown and white
male and female
but they are just doing their job so that is alright..

perhaps on a parallel earth somalian and libyan bombed  black lives really do matter
but not on this one
not for anyone..

Downing Street: Today's Covid-19 Daily Press Briefing - The Best Bits

and the government coronavirus chief medical advisor continued..
flashy new ventilator lights are working well
they twinkle prettily
actually much better than we expected
and once you are switched on to them that is it ~ blast-off..

watch football
have a barbeque..
watch football
have a barbeque..

and if you do not have a mask
a vinyl doormat taped over your mouth will work wonders
no harm in trying..

and did i mention
soon you might also be able to watch some football on the tell-lie-vision
with optional real fake virtual crowd noise added
with cardboard cut-out people social distancing on the empty terraces
plebs..

you may also visit a car showroom
but please avoid driving a car
you may also visit a garden centre
with up to five garden gnomes from your immediate household..

proviso ~
direct your garden gnomes to stand at least one metre apart from one another
and in an abundance of caution at least three metres away from you
you may talk to them but only in the open air outdoors
with the wind at your back and with the gnomes down-wind in front of you
gnomes must wear bespoke pandemic n95 gnome-masks
especially when they are conversing with youalways wear overalls and a tunic
it is vital..

please note fake chinese garden gnomes cannot spread the virus
even when they are wearing fake n95 gnome-masks..

please do not pick up your gnomes to stroke them on your lap
control that urge
yes we know it is not easy
but in these unusual and difficult times
we must embrace and get used to these new strictures and modalities..

stay at home
save lives
i might have been banging your wife..

stay at home
save lives
i might have been banging your wife..

pleb ~
you believed your wife was at home
while you were working in strained conditions down on some granny farm
wrong term ~ care home
so sorry..

first slide please..

this table
is my study table and shows me on top of your wife
she is taking it enthusiastically doggy style
i am always vigorous
that is my kind of lockdown
but put simply it cannot be yours ~ pleb~directive..

stay at home
save lives
i might have been banging your wife..
stay at home
save lives
i might have been banging your wife..

so now over to secretary of state priti patel
she will take you through the latest figures
go priti..


and secretary of state priti patel said..
thank you
hello viewers
i am trying not to smirk duper delight
are you scared yet..

here are the latest figures..

seven eight nine eleven twenty-two and thirty-three
and the bonus ball is forty-two
and that concludes the lottery draw..

and so far in the you-kay nearly forty-thousand real people have died
but nearly forty-thousand is not actually forty-thousand
but we can do it
imagine this is like a telethon
we might not even need that much touted second new and improved pandemic wave
although we may bring it in anyway just for shits and giggles..

stay at home
save lives
we can do what we like..
stay at home
save lives
we can do what we like..

please get yourself tested so we can acquire your valuable dee-en-eh data
so i strongly encourage you to download the contact tracer app
it will be very good for you
the lady who once headed talk talk will be running it..

additionally in the not to distant future our mandatory vaccines will be free
so are you scared yet..

we are all in this together
we are all in this together remember..

football
car showrooms
garden centres
gnome cars..
car gardens
scented footballs
snowball gardens
scented showroom gnome cars gardenia footballs..

Haiku, Remote Working And Social Distancing

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                                                                      .....

COVID-19 Haiku

contact tracer kiss ~
electronic leper bells
hiss dystopia..