Clandestine Channel Threat Commander EDT

clandestine channel threat commander
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Deemed Encounter

so while on a date with a senior human resources officer
i felt fairly confident the encounter was holding up well
the restaurant was her choice
and the dishes served so classy
a smoothly blended hybridised concoction enjambement
of goan vegan-cydonian and atlantian-arthurian al fresco
so in other words if the dishes we explored and excavated were an animal
it would be a parrot crossed with a mastadon a walrus and a moose
standing in a fluffy-light oat-cream custard of blue-golden spirulina bon-bon gravy
metropolitan heady substantial very edgy
and yet so effortless so gastro-noir

you get the picture..

and rest assured no mythical hybrid creatures
were in any way harmed in the above scene
i would never allow it..

so let us continue..
the boutique mock-cocktails did flow
the conversation was a benday-dot lacuna bouquet of meaningful gaze ellipses
my date with the senior human resources officer
                flowed like a magical gently babbling stream
complete with playful baby dolphins frolicking porpoises and harp-playing mermaids
and where cool jade alcoves nestle below dream-mountains of organza-sheen tangerine
i hope you get the picture..

and when the waiter enquired whether we would like dessert
she replied no we will skip it
she smiled a coy candle-lit venusian sauce factory
and ..

then and there my finely sharpened male intuition sensed
an invitation to her h.r.-boudoir-insousiance
cool egyptian sheets of cotton-satin-weave
a gaudi-style balcony a frosted bottle of craft icelandic tea
utterly enchanted and enticed not thinking twice
gladly i paid the second mortgage-like restaurant bill

then we promptly departed..

outside flanked and softly enveloped by a velvety static charge
slowly we walked within our iridescent silken bubble hand in hand
that first brush of skin felt to me utterly electric
a lightly scented rain plumed and misted us wispy-pummel-silly
i felt like a sophisticated bloke character in a 60s existential french film
one of those intellectual ruffians who bowled the ladies over
with bon mots of godless wisdom
matador of the extended metaphor
seducing his smitten preening swooners kamikaze helplessly bedazzled
enamoured of his dapper gauloises-smoke-ring curlicue presence..

politically incorrect he would read out his engineered panty-dropper pondering
a meditation on why murmurations of starlings pissing over a left-bank pylon
somehow signified and presaged the imminent collapse of dreary capitalism
then he would look to the heavens and promise
by nineteen-seventy-four at the very latest
there would be mass love-ins within domed marxist ziggurat communes on mars
where even the cows would be practicing zero-gravity yoga
when they are not zooming around telekinetically piloting flying cars..

so to underline
my date with the senior human resources officer was unfolding
more spectacularly than i would dare imagine..

we walked to a nearby marble fountain now arm in arm
the magnetic moon shimmered over the lapping rippling tinkling water
distant heady laughter serenaded a lilting jazz saxophone melody
the sailing summer susurration echoing wafting floating us intertwined
as blinking neon lights dappled us a synesthete symphony
you hear the picture..

gazing down into the inky fountain the ululations mirrored
the loved-up reflection glistening
there she brushed my cheek
i could smell her niche perfume - a wow
saffron and jasmine with counterpointed vodka-marshmallow inflections
and i closed my eyes as she caressed so tenderly the back of my neck
then with her other hidden hand in a flash
she shoved and pressed my head right under the fountain water
shocked astonished i was choking i could not breathe
i thrashed as i tried to comprehend
i gurgled my final lost breaths wtf
my life played out before me
because i thought i was going to die - yes

so what did i miss how had i upset her so
and i thought the date was going so well
so what happened to my finely-tuned male intuition sixth sense
it was too late to guess i guessed..

after a while of choking somehow she lifted
then tipped me over in the fountain completely
and after i managed to scramble to safety
collapsing on the cobbled stones beneath
couples curious aswarmed and openly spied laughing at and recording me
bewildered as i looked up at the senior human resources officer
i could only choke and splutter out why and wtf..

she calmly looked down and curtly announced.. 

here is a hard copy of the form
do not worry you do not need to fill it in now
take your time
have it emailed to me by nine tomorrow
that will be fine.. 
and with that off she sashayed like an empress for sociopaths into the night..

so what had she handed to me
my skull spinning-mind-wasps had warned
the penny finally dropped i should have guessed
of course it was a self-assessment performance review form..

it was one of those from a scale of one to five questionnaires
one being poor to five being excellent
and with the small blank space at the bottom
where you could leave thoughtful feedback comment
but only if you really wished
you did not have to
have to - their spiritual advice - my italics..

so please allow me to read out her performance review questions for you 
so strap yourself in

question 1
reflecting on the date you have just enjoyed with your senior human resources officer what could you have done differently to make your senior human resources officer even happier..

question 2
what are your key learning takeaways from tonight
and how will almost choking to death from drowning improve your morale going forward..

in other words what are the recognised value-added positives that will help you to be more productive and achieve our necessary objectives..

question 3
please identify the three finest qualities of your senior human resources officer
and contrast them with your three most egregious and pathetic faults failures and weaknesses..

please be honest..

you will be asked to present these with examples at your next team-building away day..

bring with you any organic herbal lavender-chamomile-honeysuckle teabags of your choice..

and please note should you forget we will deem such action a conscious nuclear-level macro-aggression directed at the entire senior human resources team..dotdotdot
.

drenched weeping i wandered so alone pondering her perplexing questions so deep
praying to find a dark web hacker to sell me initiate-level answers for an inexpensive fee..

a little too late i finally got the picture..

Black Sky Infinity

                                                                        mister president the latest figures remain concerning
q-e vacuumed to the black sky infinity
our trade deficit hollowing out and deepening
unemployment rolls accompanying
these inverted curves certainly are hurting and yes sir
very challenging militarily economically strategically..

..and tactically general but we must not lose our nerve
so offer me good news so i may face them down with great news
this crisis stretch must be recognised less for doing terrible things
reframing the reality they are living in is now essential
general as you know and understand this is beyond party political
an inverted commas election this year tells me at least one ignoble fix is in..

and still as your commander in chief please pursue reasons to be happy
this black swan hatched and side-swiped us into this big mess
and although stocks are soaring as well they might be
for i have donated trillions more free to our corporations so recently
i know bush then obama took this crisis-opportunity for buy-backs previously
fingers-crossed my way would re-shore jobs instead so third time catastrophe-lucky..

sir dot-connecting we are assured our insiders are refining those optics
with that elliptically in mind we worked on a bold proposal for your signature
no need to do anything or weigh up troubling questions or actions
the history books already penned no references to the shredded papers sealed
the control files already opened or torched or shielded depending
the controlled opposition factotums turning distraction spits splendidly..

general i noted that and please convey our special thanks
i recall those many unspoken conversations long ago prepping with roy cohn
certain vaults must remain locked for others to remain bless-kissed open
though i must ask will there be a lot of death
the crisis actor thing works almost as well
i love my family israel america..

your family should be safe mister president
sign here and here and here sir
and we will apprise you of all slated developments
we can say this next stage is rapidly unfolding fairly left-field
and our nsa friends are hacking us as enemies
and the below the basement explosions have already begun..

okay general that will be all
giddily i will play golf drably while you rock and roll
beneath the zephyr susurrations of the palm trees
i will gaze at the lithe guests at mar-a-lago
some of them already realise and if not they soon will
our shadows are our snipers caught in this blackout web of victory..

Mock Mockingbirds

satire on the bbc
what can that be
what beef stings their bees
how can satire be on the bbc
means..

bee-bees seam
circle jerk echo chambers
hollow laughter tracks to minds marshal
what joke..

bees vet satirists
licence to puppetry..
slice strings
mesmerise them..

Exulansis

if words are only words
is there poetry..

Fourth Reich Haiku

consent voluntary
crisis opportunity ~
force compulsory..

Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities In Need Appeal (Prose Poem)

              
              Stereotypical charity appeal voiceover
                              slow and saccharine
                 emoting and slightly condescending:

In these harsh post-Covid-19 times, celebrities again are in need.
In need now. In need more now than ever. In Real need. Again..

And because celebrities are in real need - more now than ever -
celebrities need to be seen to be needed more than ever..

They don’t want divine intervention. That’s the last thing they want..

Celebrities want -need - only your time and money - and love.
Don't be critical, do be grateful..

Now look, really look into all the tired, needy celebrities’ eyes -
their globular pufferfish lost golf ball eyes..

Celebrities - frozen-out, huddling now like frowning penguins..

And the swirling Antarctic sleet that pulverises
is your banishing perverse indifference toward them..

That's not nice, is it?

Bewildered, bereft, faces like collapsed cauliflowers.
Their sagging bodies begging for urgent Botox intervention.
Their angelic Harley Street practitioners crying
reaching out for your urgent help and support..

So where has your compassion gone?
Which far-distant galaxy did it escape to? Where, civilian?

How do you think celebrities feel right now - knowing?
Knowing..Knowing that painfully ordinary people - like you -
in these harsh post-Covid-19 times
are not acknowledging their intimate and delicate celebrity needs?

Celebrity. Needs..

You see, celebrities need celebrities’ needs. And you don’t.
Celebrities need celebrities’ needs. Let this be your mantra..

So, so we need to ask ourselves this one critical question:
In this hopefully post-Covid-19 world
should our cruel abandonment of celebrities
really be a part of this so-called “new normal”?
Is this civilised? No, of course it isn’t..

Is this really why our great-grandparents fought Mister Hitler?
Is this really why our favourite deity lived or died?
Is this really why we bombarded Iraq, Libya on lies?
No. No, of course not..

I mean, what exactly is normal about not caring about celebrities? Nothing. That’s right.
Nothing is normal about not caring about celebrities.
Nothing. Nothing at all..

And it’s your fault British celebrities’ egos are starving right now.
And because of you, their egos face total fractal-annihilation
for they are not Buddha..

Your fault? Yes. For instance -
When was the last time you devoted yourself to a celebrity -
any celebrity?
Or when was the last time you gazed up at a celebrity
as they tenderly talked about themselves?
Or when was the last time you really needed
to attitudinise in-sync
with their fluffy vanity-flavoured identity politics branding?

And when was the last time you offered and dedicatedyour money and your time
to a celebrity film or TV show or album
or ghost-written autobiography or cosmetic product?

So, you can see now how you have let them down. And badly.
Badly let them down. Down badly badly down..
Interrogate yourself: What have I done today to help a celebrity?  
That’s right. What have I done today to help a celebrity?
This is the most important question on your life:
What have I done today to help a celebrity?
The answer you give defines you..

Then ask:
How, today, have I let a celebrity know how much I adore them
and cherish their very existence's very essence
more vital and meaningful than my paltry pointless own?

When was the last time I gave a celebrity my time?
When was the last time I gave a celebrity my money?
And when was the last time I gazed up in awe
as a TV celebrity opined on a cleared and vetted off-the-peg cause
cynically generated and contrived to manipulate public opinion
their fame-whore manufactured persona shills out for - for you with love?


*******************************************

Don’t despair.
The Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal is here..

You see
Celebrities in Need has always been here to help you help a celebrity
A celebrity in need.

So let’s go back in time and see a different future.
Not for you, for them.
For them, it could still be wonderful..

And think about this, too:
If we all gave only one pound a day
to the Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
we would raise enough to pay for every last British celebrity
to have no-expense-spared free holidays
in exclusive five-star celebrities-only resorts of their choice 
no less than three times a year, every year; flying first class
thus shielded and fire-walled safe from the riff-raff - you..

Now isn’t that amazing? Doesn’t that feel good?
Of course it does. It should.
Gently pat your own head as a reward..

And. If we all gifted just one pound a day
to our Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
that would be enough to pay for one full year’s supply
of purest quality cocaine for each and every celebrity who needs it..

Imagine too if we fed champagne and hand-made Belgian chocolates
to every real British celebrity.
Every. Last. One.

After all, you don’t need hand-made Belgian chocolates, do you?
British celebrities do. Especially after Covid-19.

And, there's more:
If you choose to gift just five-thousand pounds a year
to this Emergency Post-Covid-19 Celebrities in Need Appeal
you will receive at least one postcard from a celebrity on holiday
letting you know how they are getting on..

In addition, you will also receive an autograph from a celebrity
painstakingly photocopied by their PA -
a real genuine-looking autograph - just for you.
How about that?

And, there’s more: You will also receive - as a reward -
an exclusive opinion of a celebrity on any subject of their choice.
This will help feed their drowning octopus ego. 
Go on. You know you want to..

So now you know.
Join Celebrities in Need now. Celebrities are in this together.
You can join them - at a very far distance, in spirit - one pound a day..

Now, imagine if we all are kind enough to help this vulnerable cohort
what an immeasurable difference it would make
make to their lives’ starving egos..

Celebrities in Need:
Helping raise awareness of celebrities’ complex needs
in these post-Covid-19 times..

And let's not forget we could have a second wave
followed by a third wave of Covid-19..

And Covid-20 could be along soon after
so we need to be funded, prepared for that..

And let's not even mention Covid-21..

You aren’t wonderful, but celebrities are.
So without sparing any critical thought, please give generously today..

And remember, celebrities need celebrities’ needs.
Celebrities in Need.


Thank you. 

Systemic Haiku

deja vu - again
QE to infinity ~
gulag casino..

BBC/Guardian Novichok Docudrama Hazmat-Haiku (With Added Covid-19)

wuhan labs experimented with coronvirus
must be china
porton down  five-and-a-half miles from salisbury
must be russia..

enjoy the popcorn..

Zimmerman/Zapruder H**x Haiku

fabulist agent
troubadour of devil deals ~
wheels spin rolling stones..

Closet Kitten Killers Are Surveillance Deniers - Are You?

smash smash
flash flash smash flash blast
smoke bombs explode deafen fizz-whizz spiral spin
scoping lasers arc probe target 
gas masked annunaki-like liquid shadows eel-dance the walls squid-inked
electric kinetic elite commandos ~ a score
they rampage fleet through the reinforced front door caved-in jack-hammered splintered
bollocks loaded like sasquatch-in-heat melons your honour sealed in kevlar not too shabby
search separate engage
touch the hem of those garments..

so another howling puppy
another wailing kitten rescued
another fudge-tunnel-compacted bunny rabbit liberated
the abusers dragged bewildered choking
archon skulls smacked crunched by gendarmes in black
and blue disco pavements tinge scarlet
better than sex
better than christmas crossed with bravo two zero
so almost better than vegan chocolate croissants camouflaged with vegan vanilla custard..

so you should see now
you should see now why
now why smart surveillance cameras must be installed inside every british home
this rescue scene would be enabled
become so very every-day normal
many fewer kittens otherwise skewered behind closed doors ~ saved
imagine the essayess ready and waiting down your estate like this ~ imagine it..

and imagine this
kitten-bunny-rabbit-puppy-budgie abuser-tracers
delivering that all important go-go-go signal
while gazing rapt at the endless banks of hi-def 3d monitors
guiding the elite soldiers in combat
from their cavernous command kitty liberation control centres
hi-fiving while cheering our brave selfless heroes on
just like nasa hollywood..

and kittens do not worry about loss of privacy so why should you
and puppies do not worry about loss of privacy so why should you
and kittens are velvety ~ are you
and kittens are cute and wriggly ~ are you.
and have you ever seen a puppy rob a bank
thought not..

and kittens cannot read government studies ~ you can
and puppies cannot read government recommendations ~ you can
look into their cute shiny innocent marble vulnerable eyes
and explain to them why you must still have the right to privacy inside
they are begging you
and imploring you
to save their fluffy little cuddly wriggly helpless harmless chirping almost human lives..

are you a closet kitten killer
are you a puppy paedophile
are you a goldfish gobbler
do you abuse your budgie as an anal enema every once in a while..

kittens and puppies and bunny rabbits and budgies
it could be a burt bacharach song
are being massacred every day every day in so-called british homes
so to save a million tiddles we must support surveillance
loss of privacy an incredibly insignificant infinitesimal sacrifice
a government study shall proclaim so..

and we could bring back hanging
pay-per-view death telethons
would raise funds for abused bunny rabbit budgie puppy charities
let us hope that civilised society shall soon recommend so..

Black Lives On A Parallel Earth

obama cameron sarkozy
bombed libya into the stone age
consequently since then black african migrants who went to work there
now are sold openly as slaves
obama will you pay them reparations
if not why not
antifa what is your position on this..

america uk and france
ten-thousand sorties over libya
many many thousands died
and yet and yet pin-drop silence
no marches
no banners
no empathy
even with the help of google maps most protesters could not find libya or somalia
have we seen on our teevee so much as one libyan weeping widow or orphan
grazed with a teardrop
they breed them tough over there ~ black bones do not crack over there
and let us not even mention yemen..

our great gift of democracy ~
misdescribing north africans escaping it
drowning in the mediterranean ~ all are rapefugees ~ nice ..

right now america is bombing somalia
and has been since dubya
dubya obama trump ~ pepsi or coke ~ it is what it was
that fourth-world country still a huge threat to empire
so those very black lives must continue to expire
american bombs are still dropping on them right now ~ right now
although you would not know it watching cnn or fox or the bbc
social justice for libyans and somalians does not seem to exist
is this silence for you also deafening
both the left and the right are united on this ~ no..

thus that american cop who took his own version of the knee
is not so dissimilar in spirit to his in-action military
the american military is also very multi-cultural
those fighter pilots dropping bombs on people throwing rocks
attacking raytheon drones
are black brown and white
male and female
but they are just doing their job so that is alright..

perhaps on a parallel earth somalian and libyan bombed  black lives really do matter
but not on this one
not for anyone..