The Bobble Hat Incident

I'm quite organised,
Usually,
And when I get ready for work,
I collect my keys, my travel card, my work pass and my wallet,
Lying neatly arranged on the mock-Formica,
Ready for me to pick up in the morning.
I also collect my lunch and penis from the fridge,
I place my lunch in my bag,
And my penis in my trouser area (top half).



I remember one time,
Seems like not so long ago,
I accidentally left my penis inside my favourite winter woolly hat,
It needed emergency airing,
After it got drenched by a typically vicious horizontal hail storm,
As did my winter woolly hat.
Anyway,
The next day when I went out with my winter woolly hat on,
I forgot my penis was still nestling snugly inside,
Snoozing, fast asleep,
And,
Well,
Let's just say that something happened,
I'm not going to tell you what happened,
Because it was most embarrassing,
My penis could not stop blushing for four-and-a-half days afterwards,
Which is fair enough if you think about it,
And after that,
I never saw that lollipop lady again.


I do hope she is okay.
Needless to say,
It was never meant to happen.


And to this day my penis refuses,
Refuses,
To talk about,
What we have come to refer to as,
"The bobble hat incident."

That worries me.

Oh, this weather.

The bobble hat is currently at the dry cleaners.