An Open Letter To An Extraterrestrial

 

if an extraterrestrial allowed me to meet them
on the condition i would ask them only one question
here is what i would say
would you kindly share your philosophy..

this open-ended question
might intrigue them
for inherent within the question is my wish to establish a relatable connection
mind to mind
soul to soul
for truth-seeking and life-affirming empathy is limitless..

i might add
we see you in the sky
and mariners watch your ships rise from and fly down into
the deepest lakes and oceans
our governments lie for they say you do not exist here
and the witnesses who have observed you
are labelled liars or unenlightened or delusional conspiracy theorists
never mind for we know you are up there and down below
and we know you know
so please share your philosophy
some of us are ready to listen so please share
what you believe what you feel what you know
including what you know about us humans
that we might not know..

the other mortal being might say
you probably will not apprehend
and i will reply
this does not matter
it does not matter at all
so please go ahead..

the being comprehending may also understand
and settle my restlessness with the most gracious act of kindness
and share a glimpse into the awe-inspiring
perhaps also frightening and astonishing beyond
their real world might be comprised of the whole universe and strange time and more..

If You Must Self-identity As A Thinking Human Being

 

brigade seventy-seven have entered the uk chat
you better realise that to simply ask a question
now is regarded as a subversive act..

for your question might sow unwarranted doubt 
and the-we cannot tolerate that
if you must self-identify as a thinking human being
we of the seventy-seventh may have to seek you out
gently throw our anonymised weight about
for this untoward form of identarianism is not allowed..

the andy mcnab fanboys in your house
squirm supreme behind your mind
poke inside your ears
their clamped eyes roving want yours tourniqueted
deckchair-droids on tenterhooks for the state
pay your taxes and be gracious
always realise too late
always realise too late..

they have their playbook
they have their ready-made cheat-sheets
complete with flowcharted ready-made quips
their cut-and-paste ad hominems zero-in to splatter
when a red-lined ip address pings it rings them
the plugged-in trapping monks then reel the baited in
to drop in fig leaf batter
because to stupefy enquiring minds matters..

brigade seventy-seven have entered the chat
you better realise that to simply ask a question 
now is regarded as a subversive act..

no doubt the combat-trousered mannequins
have a coffee machine in the foyer
and a break-out lounge where they wind down
consuming teletubby news
thought-paratroopers on the ground tiggering
apocalypse new has its very own ride of the valkyries
fly in low
bomb the cyber sea tree line
duh duh duh duuuh duh...

the pop culture commentariat never call them out
why would they
being merely different means to the same end
for the best form of propaganda is entertainment
wave away the air
then serenade the vacuum again..

this brigade seventy-seven self-identity as..
agents of change
through targeted information and outreach..
plus ca change..

they sport venus fly trap boots on their mice
their honeypot tricks entice the bitten to bite for databases
and if your self-censorship shifts into silent-mode
that works almost as well
swivel your head three-sixty before you utter a thought
then swivel your head three-sixty again and again and..
see if you can spy the camouflaged owl stare
perched so still as your vertigo in a vice falls in..

your lacuna whispers its note to self
i should not be saying this should i..
getting ideas above my station 
maybe there is something wrong with me
yes there is something wrong with me
i better de-platform myself
from all the platforms
and most importantly from all of myself
before i do an injury..
i have no wish to be a targeted individual
i must carefully pick my battles
meantime best to be thoughtless
paint my pupils in shades of pastel
for when i peep out of my tortoiseshell..

brigade seventy-seven have entered the chat
you better realise that to simply ask a question 
now is regarded as a subversive act..

comply and resign to our equilibrium
freedom of thought is a dangerous thing
consider it an extreme sport
to self-identify as a thinking human being..

7 /7-out..

Uber Oumuamua (The Loneliness Of The Social Distance Long Jumper)

 
for if i am stabbed to death by an unmasked man
will i have died needlessly from covid
this gonzo omerta-psychedelia
lubricates the not so novel notion..

ah if only he had taken the vaccine
and had placed a mask on while being stabbed
that selfish soldier would still be alive today
he misunderstood this most peaceful stabbing
he is an ex gen-exer
so of no great loss
he died his way
so let it be written..
and so shall it be written..

star chamber oracles opine
echo chambers comply
pronouncements amplify the ouija variants
trial balloons softly clang
the shorted bet sings noel
the chaos order rides at perihelion..

whereupon coroneted marionets ambit swept
the darned engines glistering carmine
the downy inflection point
the  tinny singularity imperium
the blow-up shepherds synth pad the glissando illusion
eat my sine waves..

immersing immersing the darkly ambient tundra
the estranged
the channelled
the sinking sand synergy
densely populated abandoned cities
stoked checkpoints float on smart skylines
regular fries for the swarming timeline..

omnipresent matt hancock on television
wherever you are there i am
i gaze up to uber oumuamua
for cosmic cow consciousness circling this system
i only pretend to ask for a friend..

matt hancock gently reassures us
things will only get a little worse
it hurts me more than it hurts you
he wishes us to unite or take some blame or something..
bless..

on a tear with the tiers
will an incoming tier six soon tickle us sillier
you must now also social distance from yourself
and then..will that be that..

so gentle viewer here is what to do
breathe in only through your anus
then hold your breath tight until you collapse
and when you are again semi-conscious
jump three metres away from where you were
then welcome in tier seven
this time jump at least three-and-a-quarter metres..
okay that would make sense..

again and again and on and on
become the social distance long jump olympian
be a star at the tokyo games
even though the games will not be..

soon the petrodollar playstation will kamikaze
the wastelands surging
ghost notes for imploding printers
signatures of hardcore background radiation..

the loneliness of the social distance long jumper
vanishing within the vapour trail of kings
once every twenty-four hours
          make sure to replace your anus apparatus
share a drink with your ice cubes
embrace vitamin d-sceptics
buy some shares in fizzy pfizer fauci antiseptic
and never be the wrong kind of denier
the new salem witch trials require
your burning ears induced to gurn for hire
to slay light with fire
slay light with fire..

 

Ghost The Neon Chrysalis

 

fetched up to be flung away she crashed through rolling sky
her cling film credits dissolving on her reeled half-life
she was another wide-eyed contestant on another reality show
and alas she won that
        and then she was ghosted
               and then she became that ghost..

as the golden hour mirage admires its back-glancing monument
as the sharks circle their whirlpools around all that glitters
as the keyboard commandos bite at her ankles and her receding
and as the midnight sun caresses his amber reflection on her tears..

being trapped even momentarily in the neon chrysalis
blinding near its mad mountain zenith of melting quartz
immersed in its memory lava looping slipstreaming
cold nostalgia offers no comfort zone to flee to..

an addition of minuses fall as shooting stars
the astral plain of regret flecks her aether
she must now back-engineer her reinvention
recognise her meaningful life runs outside that framed projection..

she holds her bruised heart open to the elements
alone within the broken dream self-realisation may present its keys
once familiar shores and terrains to discover anew await
her rendezvous with her essence..

The Mystery-Tango Haiku

 

quadrillions to one
the chance of you being born
for more dice to roll..

the fate casino
the loaded dice and free will
the mystery tango..

the ineffable
nature of the paradox
the means to what end..

what of consciousness
metaphysics cannot nail
the worldless language..

our spectrum limits
conceptions follow light
from eyes beyond mind..

roll the dice rolling
game our seeded perceptions
to believe we know..

love and empathy
to start here we may enter
higher truth within..

wordless without frame
like the space between raindrops
arrows of silence..

King Herod's Eco-Aware Saturnalian Haiku

 

eco tourists fly
then drive to green paradise
ego recycling..

eco tourists refreshed
drive then fly back down to earth
walk the s.u.v..

green haik/
fewer syll/bles
less word poll/tion..

wordy hyp/cr/sy
extinction rebellion
syll/ble glutt/ny..

fe/er thoughts formed
e/ua/s fe/er brain cells worn
green mind nice flat lawn..

christmas recycles
unwanted gifts/store returns
wise cash cows ride man..

king herod '20
masked slaves black friday perfumes
lenders smell rosy..

saturnalia
santa claws an anagram
laughs 'neath the chimney..

raised sacrifices
tinsel altars spoke fairies
pagans insulted..

vaccines for christmas
shall my arm wear a green mask
r.n.a.-distance..

Celestial Mechanics For Hush Track Avatars

 

precision engineered laughter tracks
precision engineered..

                  enter stage right lovable goofy neighbour character
                  slides in sotto /pregnant pause /batman joker grin
                  floor manager lifts card up to studio audience
                  in bold comic sans the card instructs..
CHEER/APPLAUD!!
                   rippling deep-fried rain hits up the tin ceiling
                   the satin static sweep serenades wah-wahs woozy..

                   as elegant as a geisha girl a cheery blossom-painted fan
                   the floor manager gently flutters the card lower again
                   a finger raised to her elfin lips
                   trepanning the tranced trampolined
                   skinner box signals the swooned
                   like rustling leaves hush in jazz brushes
                   folding like electrocuted kittens in an animal testing lab
                   these twitched kittens also pass the calisthenics test
                   aces all the way..
                                                                                 
precision engineered newscasts
precision engineered..
                                        
                   i surf the news channels
                   all fiercely in competition for audience share
                   independent and autonomous networks
                   yet more often than not
                   the same news items are presented
                   in the same order
                   with similar headlines and perspectives offered
                   scoped from the same vantage points
                   scooped and slopped
                   channel to channel
                   franchise to franchise liquid statues in situ..

                  day after day and year after year
                  and decade after decade and
                  this mysterious and apparently non hive-mind vibes
                  whirling such telepathic consensus magic yet how
                  this does not correlate with real life
                  not even football matches
                  or the most mundane of conversation
                  well this state of affairs has never been any other way
                  must be in the natural order of things so i say okay..

precision engineered dialectics
precision engineered..
                           
                  it is so challenging
                  this talking head presents a cherry cola opinion
                  yet that one a diet cherry cola opinion..

                 and i am directed to choose between two options
                 only two sides to every story
                 a third option is sometimes offered not sure
                 do you agree with a or b
                 disagreeing with both means i am not sure
                 phone us now..
                 i prosecute..

                 simmered to a boil i percolate my lid lifted
                 lowered in my vanishing point
                 the blinding heavens drift away..                

precision engineered opinion makers
precision engineered..

                  these opinion makers are built in factories
                  each expert in everything exactly
                  pristine bladed in the breeze to sway
                  each like an emerald flame a kindling glade
                  the air filtered thousands of times pure
                  so no chance of thought-virus infection
                  air-locked clad water-tight brigade77 in civvies
                  i am a humble ant at room temperature
                  their blade with climbing vines my watchtower
                  the summit my vista ready-made saves me time..

precision engineered optics
precision engineered..
                    
                  box-fresh loaded and ready
                  transfixed i gaze into their benign ejector-seat eyes
                  news programming in 5-4-3-..
                                         
                  never look away never so much as glance away
                  might miss the opportune moment
                  to receive that all-important elusive jigsaw piece
                  they always warn us all
                                         ..all that fake news out there..
                  i trust them implicitly
                  to frame accurately all my given realities..

precision engineered voodoo
precision engineered..

                 needles impress our minds a psychic acupuncture
                 an invigorating tonic
                 fresher than himalayan air
                 without all that annoying yeti shit..
 
precision engineered lookalikes
precision engineered..

                 sacrifice and plastic surgery
                 an unknown demise aid a seamless resurrection
                 the ears are almost the same
                 yet the voice and mannerisms have changed
                 probably only my trick-playing imagination..

precision engineered history books
precision engineered..
                 
                  we gave them a partition
                  and in bengal withheld their food from them
                  we allowed them the opportunity..
                  to naturally lower their population
                  by a fair few million
                 we smashed their hands and their looms
                 we gave them free uniforms to die in our wars
                 and for the ones who survived the right to no pension
                 we encouraged sometimes forceful conversion
                 call it benign civilising coercion
                 we let them pay for and build our railways
                 we gave them this democracy
                 gave
                 but were they grateful ..were they f..

precision engineered popular culture
precision engineered..

                 attitude promoters posture the norms
                 artistic values axioms and expressions
                 net curtain personas softly carpet us
                 with only the best of intentions
                 i watch the film i buy the score
                 i snort a few more lines of popcorn
                 and popcorn never killed anyone
                 smiley face and like
                 they chop the mirrors they ice-skate the tracks
                 break in my lines..
                                       
precision engineered songwriters
precision engineered..
                                     
                 both edgy and product-friendly but truly gifted
                 in silken-sheathed skin
                 provide us with the soundtrack to our lives..

                 romance on bass
                 righteous anger on lead guitar
                 misdirection on keyboards
                 imperial machinations cloak drums
                 drummers so silent drum
                 bamboo dreams in the foyer
                 bubble wrap oil to irrigate my foundation ..
                                        
precision engineered enemies
precision engineered..

                 the dead mastermind from his cave complex
                 complete with indoor plumbing
                 and kidney dialysis unit
                 and armed only with a satellite phone
                 and a fake mick fleetwood beard
                 instructed the hijackers
                 phantom hijackers armed only with box-cutters
                 how to defy all the radars and defence systems
                 as well as the laws of physics
                 and by god they did it..

                before seal team 6
                shot him to pieces and threw the phantom into some ocean
                i hope the intelligence services
                prodded the dark magician how he weaved his evil spell
                it may not have occurred to them to ask him
                such a missed opportunity for us coincidence theorists
                especially in light of the mysterious seal tragedy
                that befell many of the team shortly afterwards deep-sixed..                                                                          

precision engineered mythologies
precision engineered..

                 breaking news the tragic incident still sketchy
                 misunderstood and tortured
                 enigmatic and mysterious
                 it seems the celebrity gardener
                 threw herself into her manual lawnmower
                 there will never be another one like her
                 ..not for at least another few weeks..
                           and we will manage that..
                i had no idea how affected i would be
                i suffer from hay fever
                thus deeply alienated from the garden centre-privileged..

precision engineered mass trauma
precision engineered..
                 
                 in her honour
                 garden centres will be selling her mower lines
                 at half-price
                 one-minute silence
                 will be propagated all over the youkay
                 i am okay i will join in
                 i will be activated and appropriately devastated
                 i will buy one of her lawnmowers
                 though no i have no lawn
                 but up there somewhere she will be smiling
                 she highlighted the issue of manual lawnmower safety
                 so her tragic inexplicable death will not be in vain
                 in extremis dexterity..

                though a man
                i am in touch with my feelings deeply
                demon driver of my hamster-wheel benz
                my neon candle lights bright this promised land
                i will not be a killjoy
                i shall sway my votive mowercandleTM
                it will be almost as tragic as the diana thing
                and that pity party was brilliant     
                a glastonbury-style alpha-death wellspring
                the highlight for me was when a tabloid
                celebrated the kosovar or whatever
                punched  on the chin
                                for grubbing a thrown funeral teddy
                innocently lying on the heaped wrapped flowers
                i am not a celebrity so please let me in..

                magic moments for the goddess of the hunt
                crossroads
                and the underworld..              

precision engineered evidence
precision engineered..

                  and in other news..                         
                  the assassin vanished into a million pieces
                  but was identified by his car insurance papers
                  which he considerately kept on his person
                  thankfully discovered by a mossad agent
                  who happened by luck to be strolling nearby
                  found a gun near a drain
                                         dissolve..

precision engineered fear-hopium
precision engineered..

                  if you vote for me you vote for hope
                  if you vote for him you vote for
                  famine pestilence and the apocalypse
                  and that is before things turn really ugly
                  i give you hope he offers only fear
                 so you better listen to me or you will be sorry..

precision engineered status symbols
precision engineered..

                 hey kids
                 you see that phone your mum bought you last year
                 ..now is only for losers
                 this new model is now available
                 a special limited edition mint of six million
                 ding-ding you can a winner again
                 and we will issue a newer limited edition model
                 this time next year no fear seven million
                 tell your mum..again then..
                 first come first serve though..

precision engineered freedom
precision engineered..

                 i wave that cloth i sing that anthem
                 i raise it high
                 the sight brings me to tractor-beamed tears
                 i instruct the creator to save a monarch
                 otherwise what would he do with her
                 and ultimately that might signal bad news..
                 for the creator..

                 i am happy for him we directed him
                 the creator knows who to save now
                 and that makes me cry even some more
                 he is so lucky and so are we
                 drop-shipped my heart wrenched with joy
                 sprinkled in my tears
                 i am living the delegated stardust life
                 yes tragic celebrity death is always wrong but
                 count me in
                         like an aerodynamic candle walking in the wind
                                like an extended mixed simile the cow dragged in..

 

Sensible Celebrities For Synthetic Vaccines Haiku

 

the smiles sterilised
government indemnifies
big pharma babies..

Programming..Doomscroll Haiku

self-perpetuate doom expectation update feed dread obsessives.. dread obsessives fed
social media feeder troughs
refresh compulsion..

the fear-hopium
heartbeats of the heartless world
predict triggered trip..

(I have been informed by Blogger that this is my five-hundredth post. I'm not proud.)

Proof Of Haiku Concept Album (Light Through The Dark Optics)

 

thousands of photos
on the plastic device
glass note glissando..

smile unto yourself
selfies enter the meeting
kidnapped in its chat..

mobile for christmas
bowed lips purse blowjob blowfish
infants mimic stars..

rabbits catching lights
the persona containers
compressed in thumb drives..

the curve of flat planes
budget flighted memories
nought chants to zero..

the random dovetails
in concert with fan requests
flash freeze tapestries..

orchards of landscapes
trees icebergs mountains peoples
liquid earth kisses..

the artistic flourish
yellow tape chalk lines with paint
voyeur consciousness..

do two-way mirrors
trick projecting confidence
answers on a stamp..

the lost love moved on
to respectfully delete
save the memories..

abuse death threats trolls
broken-hearted child confused
the cause – kitten pics..

the yearning prolonged
the ineffable to grasp
midnight train to sun..

Our Man From The Identity Poetry Politburo

 

celebrated cutnpaste lowly poemy priestlet
tidemark itchy hornet rash pointy finger beat
pulp-spam-pulpit bow-wow thunk-policer hubris
tinnitus rhythm ding-ding illiterative glimmerist..

tavistock instantman boilerplate sham-angster
ident-politburo pummeler june-jejune poetrickster
didactic spammer nappyglam antsy lisa moaner
scheme-miring teeth-grinder parrot funnels emus..

he likes shagging feminists an agitprop priapist
blowhard thumbs-up likes entice horny misandrists
bingo clipboard tickntick a triggered miser wordist
another gesture-genuflector fistfuls of fog remain..

should you beg to differ defer to tram his thong
his fake love upturns hummus man frosty kong
beast mode turbo ego astroturf fluff-tiggerdome
larynx bullshit stratocaster vacuum pack one tone..

entitled prune-messiah rising on the bbc so soon
another covid wave he will master-mug on zoom
an mbe on its way a gold globule for purple piss
because that is the way they like it..tick tick tick..

anal mason plasterjazz noodley tree of po show
dot insectoid splatterman spins vortex-neck libido
leaning pisa maestro glows fabulist in tepees
per tiddely-pom tadpole-fizzy he waxes rivet-ditty..

Metropolitan Country Song

as we were conversing
the cool night shuttering within air
i felt the edges around an unspoken something
her grief hopeful grief for some theft to love
to set sail what kind of temple on her raft
her pact her deal with the dark side motioned..

and her eyes reflected the windows on her eyes
the windows the night rain outside smudged
the traffic lights winking at the signals blur
blending stop go left right speed up slow down
the open sesame to this secret staircase
alias an escalator down the upward vortex..

her exhale blew a halo clouding the glass
will ouroboros pin a zero on her infinity symbol
then we were silent with her dark deal confided
we both gazed back out the window
slanted rain etched the glass like war paint
i laughed only in fear of this world of initiation..